第五章：婚姻
Chapter 5: Marriage
As revealed to God’s Messenger Marshall Vian Summers on April 24, 1987 in the USA
1987年4月24日，在美国(USA)，向上帝的信使马歇尔・维安・萨默斯(Marshall Vian Summers)揭示
The marriage that We will be talking about is a very, very special kind of relationship. We would like to provide the proper context because the quality of marriage that we would like to address is something that is very rare in the world. It is something you do not see very often, and yet it is something that people strive for knowingly and unknowingly.
我们将谈论的婚姻是一种非常、非常特殊的关系。我们想提供适当的背景，因为我们想讨论的婚姻质量是世界上非常罕见的。它是你不经常看到的婚姻，然而它是人们有意和无意地努力争取的婚姻。
We give marriage a very great emphasis because it is the consuming relationship. It is consummate and consuming altogether. True marriage is something that is a source of nourishment for other people as well as for the two people involved. Because we are speaking of marriage in a larger context, we will not only be speaking of marriage between a man and a woman. We will be speaking of marriage as a quality of union that can exist in any relationship, for it is the quality, not the form, that matters. It is the understanding and the experience.
我们非常强调婚姻，因为它是一种消耗性的关系。它是完美的，完全的消耗。真实的婚姻是对其他人以及对参与其中的两个人来说都是滋养的来源。因为我们是在更大的背景下谈论婚姻，所以我们将不仅仅是谈论一个男人和一个女人之间的婚姻。我们将把婚姻说成是一种可以存在于任何关系中的结合质量，因为重要的是质量而不是形式。它是理解和经历。
It is appropriate that true marriage be so lofty. It is worth preparing for. It is a natural gift of God to those who are serving their true purpose, for you cannot serve a true purpose alone. You will need true marriage. You will need this kind of assistance.
真实的婚姻是如此的高尚是合适的。它是值得准备的。它是上帝给那些为其真实目的服务的人的自然礼物，因为你不能单独为一个真实的目的服务。你将需要真实的婚姻。你将需要这种帮助。
Because these relationships are so valuable, great emphasis is placed on preparation. These relationships demonstrate the reality of the Spiritual Family, where there can be a bond that is deeper than the personalities involved and stronger than any divergent interests or orientations. True marriage is something that transcends personal realities and has purpose and direction. It is something that is not created by the people involved but is something that they discover together. It is a discovery, and yet it is a discovery with a purpose. It is here to do something.
因为这些关系是如此有价值，所以非常强调准备。这些关系展示了精神家庭的现实，在那里可以有一种比所涉及的人格更深的纽带，比任何不同的利益或取向更强。真实的婚姻是超越个人现实的关系，有目的和方向。它不是由参与的人创造的，而是他们共同发现的关系。它是一种发现，然而它是一种有目的的发现。它在这里是为了做一些事情。
True union can exist between men and women, between two great friends, or between a parent and a child. It can actually happen between any individuals if they have reached the same point of recognition and if they have an intrinsic bond already.
真实的结合可以存在于男人和女人之间，两个好朋友之间，或者父母和孩子之间。它实际上可以发生在任何个体之间，如果他们已经达到相同的认识点，如果他们已经有内在的联系。
Obviously, there is a lot of marriage around. Marriage is very common, but how many marriages are an inspiration to you? Not everyone is meant to be in marriage—that is, between a husband and wife. That is not the appropriate expression of marriage for everybody. However, a relationship based upon Knowledge, recognition and purpose is meant for everyone. When you have experienced that, you will realize that your life is greater than your personality. It will be an experience that will be very confirming for you. Out of this relationship will come devotion, which is the highest expression of love in the world. Devotion is a quality that is very rare. It is not to be confused with obligation or bondage of any kind. It is a free gift that is essential to give.
很明显，周围有很多婚姻。婚姻是非常普遍的，但有多少婚姻对你来说是一种激励？不是每个人都注定要在婚姻中——也就是在丈夫和妻子之间。这不是每个人都适合的婚姻表达方式。然而，一种基于内识、认可和目的的关系是为每个人准备的。当你经历到这一点时，你会意识到你的生命比你的人格更伟大。这将是一个对你来说非常有意义的经历。从这种关系中会产生奉献，这是世界上爱的最高表达。奉献是一种非常罕见的品质。它不能与任何形式的义务或束缚相混淆。它是一种自由的礼物，是必须给予的。
Many people expect or demand devotion from others but are incapable of giving it themselves, for they wish to bargain with their affection. They wish to make sure that their demands will be met before they are willing to give in. But you see, devotion is not negotiable. You do not bargain for it. It is not giving in. It is something that emerges from the very depth of you, so that you need not create it. It simply arises.
许多人期望或要求别人奉献，但自己却没有能力给予，因为他们希望用自己的感情来讨价还价。他们希望在他们愿意让步之前，确保他们的要求会得到满足。但是你看，奉献是不能谈判的。你不能与它讨价还价。它不是屈服。它是从你的深处出现的内识，所以你不需要创造它。它只是产生了。
Why is this experience so rare in the world? With so much marriage and so much relationship going on, why is there so little of it that is truly inspiring? Is it because it is a gift that is only given to a few people? Is it because its participants are so pure and so holy and so innocent that it is natural for them? No, it is not for either of these reasons.
为什么这种经历在世界范围内如此罕见？有这么多的婚姻和这么多的关系在进行，为什么真正能激励人的却那么少？是否是因为它只是一种给少数人的礼物？是不是因为它的参与者是如此纯洁、如此神圣、如此清白，所以对他们来说是自然的？不，它不是因为这两个原因。
Let us give you some ideas now so that you can have a realistic expectation of union for yourself and be able to perceive your current involvements with greater certainty.
现在让我们给你一些想法，以便你能对自己的结合有一个现实的期望，并能更肯定地察觉到你目前的参与。
First, you will find that this quality of relationship will come to you as you have something important to do in life. People who are actively engaged in life do not have to go searching for relationship. This is a fact. If you have found something truly meaningful to do in this world that is natural for you to do and that you wish to give yourself to completely, it is a certainty you will not be alone in your giving. It is a certainty that your giving will be shared and will establish a union of great strength. This is because your relationship is pointing outward. You are moving together, and you are not trying to make each other the complete object of your affection, for this is never successful. Devotion is always to something far greater than the personality.
首先，你会发现这种质量的关系会在你生命中有重要事情要做时出现。积极投入生命的人，不必去寻找关系。这是一个事实。如果你在这个世界上找到了真正有意义的事情，对你来说是自然而然的事情，你希望把自己完全交给它，那么可以肯定的是，你的给予不会是孤独的。可以肯定的是，你的给予将被分享，并将建立一个巨大力量的联盟。这是因为你们的关系是指向外部的。你们在一起行动，你们并不试图使对方成为你感情的全部对象，因为这永远不会成功。奉献总是比人格更大。
Very few people have this feeling of vitality in their engagement in life and so, to substitute for this, they seek excitement in relationship, some for excitement’s sake and some in the name of personal growth. We can assure you, there is not enough personal growth in the universe to justify endless involvements. What takes you beyond personal growth is that you become very tired of it, and you now seek refuge, relief and inspiration from something greater. Personal growth is very disappointing because you cannot expand the personal side of you very far. It always has great promise, and it is always very exciting when you are embarking on personal growth, but it quickly begins to get very difficult. Personal growth is natural when you are developing Knowledge, for your mind and body must now accommodate a Greater Power within you. This is the context in which personal growth has value and is governed by necessity and not by preference.
很少有人在参与生命时有这种活力的感觉，因此，为了替代这种感觉，他们在关系中寻求刺激，有些是为了刺激而刺激，有些是以个人成长的名义。我们可以向你保证，宇宙中没有足够的个人成长来证明无休止的参与。让你超越个人成长的是，你对它变得非常厌倦，你现在从更大的现实中寻求庇护、解脱和灵感。个人成长是非常令人失望的，因为你不能把你个人的一面扩展得很远。它总是有很大的希望，当你开始进行个人成长时总是非常激动，但它很快就开始变得非常困难。当你在发展内识时，个人成长是很自然的，因为你的身心现在必须容纳你内在的一种更大的力量。这是个人成长具有价值的背景，是由必要性而不是由偏好支配的。
Therefore, relationships for personal growth are by definition very limited. They are limited by your own ambivalence towards growth. They are limited by your objectives, and they are limited because you and the other have somewhat divergent motives. Your personal growth will not yield the completeness of being together that is so very nourishing, for you are trying to use the other person to grow and they are trying to use you to grow. Sooner or later you will realize you do not have the same purpose.
因此，根据定义，个人成长的关系是非常有限的。它们受到你自己对成长的矛盾心理的限制。它们被你的目标所限制，它们被限制是因为你和对方有一些不同的动机。你们的个人成长不会产生在一起的完整性，而这种完整性是非常有营养的，因为你正试图利用对方来成长，而对方也正试图利用你来成长。迟早你们会认识到你们的目的是不一样。
This can elapse after a great deal of time because, you see, when you are personally growing, pain seems very justified. Your resistance seems to be a sign you should become more involved, not less. So before you know it, you are now in bondage to participate for fear that you might be a failure of some kind. This is sad, for it can take a great deal of pain to convince you that you are on the wrong track.
这可能会在大量的时间后失效，因为，你看，当你个人在成长时，痛苦似乎是非常合理的。你的抵抗似乎是一个迹象，你应该变得更多，而不是更少。所以在你知道之前，你现在被束缚着参与，因为担心你可能是某种失败。这很可悲，因为可能需要很大的痛苦来说服你，你是在错误的轨道上。
You do not have much time in this world, my friends. You really do not. Life is short here. Your vitality is limited. It is very important that you seek some very fundamental things and not try to have all of these experiences that seem to be so alluring. There is no evidence that people who are in relationship for personal growth are doing any better than people who are in relationship for other reasons, except perhaps that their engagement is a little more exciting and self-absorbing. But, you see, I want to steer you now to a different emphasis.
我的朋友们，你在这个世界上没有多少时间。你真的没有。这里的生命是短暂的。你的活力是有限的。非常重要的是，你要寻求一些非常根本的关系，不要试图拥有所有这些似乎很诱人的经历。没有证据表明为个人成长而建立关系的人比为其他原因建立关系的人做得更好，也许他们的交往更刺激、更自我陶醉一些。但是，你看，我现在想把你引向一个不同的重点。
Now, I have said that if you are doing something meaningful in the world, people will join you. This is very natural. If your life is given to doing something in the world, people will give their lives to join you. They aren’t with you simply because you are entertaining them or because they have wonderful experiences with you. You are an expression of a purpose that they share, so now you have a union that is not based upon likes and dislikes or upon personal goals. It is simply natural to be together, and it would be unnatural to be apart. It is this naturalness that is an indicator that something is going right.
现在，我已经说过，如果你在这个世界上做一些有意义的事情，人们就会加入你。这是很自然的。如果你的生命被赋予在这个世界上做一些事情，人们会付出他们的生活来加入你。他们和你在一起并不只是因为你在招待他们，或者因为他们和你有美好的经历。你是他们共同目标的表达，所以现在你们的结合不是基于喜欢和不喜欢，也不是基于个人目标。在一起是很自然的，而分开则是不自然的。正是这种自然性表明有些事情是正确的。
In order to differentiate between recognition and attraction, you must cultivate Knowledge, the ability and the foundation to know within your own mind. It is fundamental to everything we teach and advocate.
为了区分认可和吸引，你必须培养内识，在你自己的心智中知道的能力和基础。这是我们教授和倡导一切的根本。
We are very intent on people having true relationship because that is the greatest expression of Knowledge in this world—meaningful relationship one on one and meaningful relationship in larger arenas as well. What is God, what is the return to God, but the return to relationship? Some people wish to return to God and commit themselves to God, but they cannot be with anybody. And so they are trying to be with everything, but they do not know how to be with any one thing. This leads to idealism of a very unfortunate kind, for people are committed to an idea of God and not to God at all. People are committed to an idea of relationship but cannot participate in relationship.
我们非常关注拥有真实关系的人，因为这是内识在这个世界上最大的表达方式——有意义的一对一关系，以及在更大的范围内有意义的关系。上帝是什么，回到上帝身边是什么，而是回到关系中去？有些人希望回到上帝身边，把自己交给上帝，但他们不能和任何人在一起。因此，他们试图与所有人在一起，但他们不知道如何与任何人在一起。这导致了一种非常不幸的理想主义，因为人们致力于上帝的想法，而根本不是上帝。人们致力于一种关系的想法，但不能参与关系。
It is very difficult to create a relationship, is it not? It is always falling apart somewhere. You have to go patch it up. It is always breaking down, and you are always building it up. However, if you are doing something really important in life, you do not have time to constantly be patching up a relationship. Your criteria for a relationship then becomes, does it work or not? It is not whether you are doing a good job or being open or loving. It is not a performance on your part. Your relationship either works or it does not. If it does not, then you lovingly free the person to find his or her right place. Then everything can be rearranged properly.
创造一种关系是非常困难的，不是吗？它总是在某个地方崩塌。你必须去修补它。它总是在崩溃，而你总是在建立它。然而，如果你正在做生命中真正重要的事，你就没有时间不断地修补一段关系。那么你对一段关系的标准就变成了，它是否有效？它不是你是否做得很好，或是否开放或有爱。它不是你的表现。你的关系要么有效，要么无效。如果不成功，那么你就以爱的方式让对方找到他或她的正确位置。然后，一切都可以适当地重新安排。
Now, in all fairness, you have personalities and they create problems. This is true. And you will have to contend with all of the expressions of fearfulness and the desire for separation. But you can confront these things if you have a Greater Power within you. If you do not have this Power, your personality will seem insurmountable. You will be trying to make it comfortable and also be trying to be true to your deeper inclinations. It is very hard to do that.
现在，平心而论，你有人格，它们会产生问题。这是真的。而且你将不得不与所有恐惧的表达和分离的欲望作斗争。但是，如果你内心有一种更大的力量，你就能对抗这些恐惧。如果你没有这种力量，你的人格就会显得不可逾越。你会试图让它变得舒适，也会试图忠实于你的更深层的倾向。它是很难做到的。
Marriage is natural for those people who are living a life of Knowledge. We wish to emphasize this. You are here for a purpose. You went to great lengths to be here. You have something to give in being here. You cannot go beyond this world because you have not given what is essential for you to give here. Your giving contains your self-realization, and your Knowledge is your foundation. With this foundation, you will see that life is conspiring on your behalf. Without this foundation, you will feel that you are challenging life and working at variance with life.
对于那些过着内识生活的人来说，婚姻是自然的。我们希望强调这一点。你在这里是有目的的。你费尽心思才来到这里。你在这里有一些礼物是可以给予的。你不能在这个世界之外，因为你没有给予你在这里所必须给予的礼物。你的给予包含你的自我实现，你的内识是你的基础。有了这个基础，你会看到生命在为你谋划。如果没有这个基础，你会觉得你在挑战生命，与生命背道而驰。
It is very important that you understand what relationships are for. Very few people have any idea of this. They are drawn by attraction, they establish a bond, they get all involved emotionally, and then at some later date they find out if they have a relationship or not. This is quite a backwards approach. We wish to advocate a much more direct approach.
非常重要的是，你要理解关系是为了什么。很少有人对此有任何想法。他们被吸引力所吸引，他们建立了一个纽带，他们在情感上得到了所有的参与，然后在以后的某一天他们发现他们是否有一个关系。这是一个相当落后的方法。我们希望倡导一种更直接的方法。
Because you are deeply attracted to others does not mean that you should yield yourself to them. If you have been around a little while, you probably have learned that. There are many things that attract people. Until you are aware of your inclinations and until you are aware of the difference between Knowledge and your personal side, between your Spirit and your mind, you will simply be moved around by forces you cannot explain. And those who are more certain than you will certainly dominate you. They are more certain of what they want than you are, and you will feel dominated.
因为你被别人深深吸引并不意味着你应该向他们屈服。如果你已经在这里呆了一段时间，你可能已经学习到这一点。有很多关系可以吸引人。除非你察觉到你的倾向性，除非你察觉到内识和你个人的一面，你的精神和你的心智之间的区别，否则你将只是被你无法解释的力量所左右。而那些比你更确定的人肯定会支配你。他们比你更确定自己想要什么，而你会感到被支配。
However, if you concentrate on developing Knowledge, you will be able to look and see why you are here and find expression for this—even if it is only a beginning. It does not have to be the ultimate answer. If you find something vital you feel you must do in your life now, then you will find that people will come to participate with you. There is so little vitality in human life that anyone who is experiencing it draws people naturally. People want to come over and find out what is going on. Somebody is alive in their midst! Somebody is not self-preoccupied!
然而，如果你专注于发展内识，你将能够看清并看到你为什么在这里，并为此找到表达方式——即使它只是一个开始。它不一定是最终的答案。如果你找到一些你觉得你现在必须在你的生活中做的重要事情，那么你会发现人们会来和你一起参与。人类生活的活力如此之少，以至于任何经历过它的人都会自然而然地吸引他人。人们想过来看看发生了什么事。他们中间有人还活着！有人不是自私自利的！
My approach may seem very simple, and it is, but developing Knowledge is quite a challenge. If you seek challenge, you will not find a greater one. Without Knowledge, relationship is trial and error only. There are many people who have spent their primal energy on relationships with very little to show for it. They have wasted their lives, and yet they have justified this waste by saying that they have grown personally and that they have learned so much. But they are right back where they began. They are alone and they are still seeking for a meaningful union.
我的方法可能看起来非常简单，确实如此，但发展内识是一个相当大的挑战。如果你寻求挑战，你将不会找到更大的挑战。没有内识，关系只能是试验和错误。有许多人在关系上花费了他们的主要能量，但却没有什么成果。他们浪费了自己的生命，但他们却为这种浪费辩护，说他们个人成长了，他们学到了很多东西。但他们又回到了开始的地方。他们是孤独的，他们仍然在寻求一个有意义的结合。
You have come here for something more important than simply trying to figure out how your mind works. You will not have your personal mind very long, so why devote your life to understanding it? You are not here to do that.
你来到这里是为了更重要的事情，而不是简单地试图弄清楚你的心智是如何运作的。你不会拥有你的个人心智很长时间，所以为什么要把你的生命投入到理解它呢？你在这里不是为了做这个。
As you begin to develop your spiritual life, your inner life, you realize there are essential qualities in relationship that cannot be neglected. There is a central emphasis that people either have or not. There is no blame here. It is either there for them or it is not. If you are cultivating an inner life and you are attracted to someone who is not, you will begin to see that there is a divergence of purpose that cannot maintain a relationship for very long.
当你开始发展你的精神生命，你的内在生活时，你意识到在关系中存在着不可忽视的基本品质。有一个核心重点，人们要么有，要么没有。这里没有责备。对他们来说，它要么在那里，要么不在。如果你正在培养一种内在的生活，而你被一个没有内在生活的人所吸引，你将开始看到有一种目的的分歧，这种分歧无法维持一段很长的关系。
Now, some people have an inner life but never talk about it. Other people have no inner life and that is all they talk about. So do not think that because people talk intelligently about an inner life that they have one.
现在，有些人有内在生活，但从不谈论它。另一些人没有内在生活，这就是他们谈论的全部。所以不要认为人们聪明地谈论内在生活，就认为他们有内在生活。
If you are developing an inner life, you will seek this in others. Why? Because it is purposeful for you to do this. You will see that a partner for you will either contribute to or hinder this emphasis. If there is hindrance, you will value very different things increasingly, and you will seek different things.
如果你正在发展一种内在生活，你会在别人身上寻找这种生活。为什么？因为你这样做是有目的的。你会看到，你的伴侣要么促进这种强调，要么阻碍这种生活。如果有阻碍，你们对内在生活的重视程度就会越来越不同，你们所追求的生活也会不同。
Knowledge always brings people together who have a common intent for union. It also brings some people together who do not share purpose so that they may understand their purpose in contrast. These people cannot join completely, for they cannot function together in the world.
内识总是把有共同意图的人聚集在一起，进行结合。它也把一些没有共同目的的人带到一起，以便他们在对比中理解自己的目的。这些人不能完全结合，因为他们不能在这个世界上共同发挥作用。
You see, the important thing to consider is the question: Why am I here? This assumes you have come from someplace and that you are going back to someplace. If you can accept that, then you must ask yourself why you are here. And if you are here for something important, then you will naturally want to find out what it is. This produces a very essential discrimination in relationship.
你看，要考虑的重要事情就是这个问题。我为什么在这里？这假设你从某个地方来，而且你要回到某个地方去。如果你能接受这一点，那么你必须问自己为什么你在这里。如果你在这里是为了一些重要的事情，那么你自然会想知道它是什么。这在关系中产生了一种非常重要的区别对待。
There are many people who have been married, who have developed an inner life and who have had to leave their marriage because of it. This is not uncommon. If someone has a destiny in life and they are married, their marriage will produce the environment that will intensify the yearning for a Greater Reality and a greater union. If your Spirit is ready to emerge, then fulfillment on the personal side will not be enough. As this emergence continues to be the emphasis, you will feel increasingly restless.
有许多人已经结婚，他们已经发展了内在的生活，并因此而不得不离开他们的婚姻。这种情况并不少见。如果一个人有生命中的命运，而且他们结婚了，他们的婚姻会产生环境，会加剧对更大现实和更大结合的渴望。如果你的精神已经准备好出现，那么在个人方面的满足将是不够的。随着这种涌现继续成为重点，你会感到越来越不安。
We, of course, wish for everyone to have true marriage. True marriage will come to you if you have found your purpose. People who have purpose can never be alone because their purpose joins them with other people. Nothing can be done alone in this world. Nothing can be done alone in any world or in any dimension. So when you begin to reclaim your Knowledge, which is your true identity, you will begin to reclaim those people who are part of your Knowledge and part of your purpose. They will be specific people, and you will be given very specific things to do with them.
当然，我们希望每个人都能拥有真实的婚姻。如果你已经找到了你的目的，真实的婚姻就会来到你身边。有目的的人永远不会孤独，因为他们的目的使他们与其他人结合在一起。在这个世界上，没有什么是可以单独完成的。在任何世界或任何维度上，也没有什么可以单独完成。因此，当你开始开垦你的内识，也就是你的真实身份，你将开始开垦那些属于你的内识和你目的的人。他们将是特定的人，你将被赋予非常特定的事情来与他们一起做。
Affections that you have for each other that are not based upon this cannot be maintained. Their initial intensity cannot be maintained continuously. Then what holds people together is convenience, safety and habit. But if they feel a greater yearning, then they cannot stay in this situation. Sooner or later, like breaking out of a shell, they will seek their freedom. All they are seeking in marriage, and they will feel terrible because they have failed their relationship, or so they think. Their relationship has not consumed them; it has only used a part of them. You see, people are very afraid that marriage will somehow overtake them and destroy their independence. Yet that is exactly what people are truly seeking, to be fully used up somewhere because the more they are used up, the more power they have. The more they are consumed, the more energy they have. The more they are utilized, the greater their Being. Their Being yearns to be used, to be channeled into useful service in the world.
你对彼此的感情如果不是基于此，就无法维持。他们最初的强度不能持续保持。那么支撑人们在一起的是方便、安全和习惯。但如果他们感觉到更大的渴望，那么他们就不能停留在这种情况下。迟早，就像破壳而出一样，他们会寻求自己的自由。他们所寻求的是婚姻，他们会觉得很糟糕，因为他们的关系失败了，或者他们认为是这样。他们的关系并没有吞噬他们；它只用了他们的一部分。你看，人们非常害怕婚姻会以某种方式超越他们，破坏他们的独立性。然而，这正是人们真正寻求的，在某个地方被完全用尽，因为他们被用得越多，他们的能力就越大。他们被消耗的越多，他们的能量就越大。他们被利用的越多，他们的存在就越大。他们的存在渴望被使用，渴望被引导到世界上有用的服务中。
Therefore, if you have this intent to be fully utilized in the world in service to God, it will also satisfy you personally because your personal side does not really want very much. It only wants to be included, to be safe and to have a few basic necessities. Really, you do not need that much, but your Being needs a great deal. It has only one intent and that is to be meaningfully used according to its own design in this life. When We speak of developing Knowledge, We speak of gaining access to your Being and allowing it to express itself and to exert its direction.
因此，如果你有这种意图，在世界中被充分利用，为上帝服务，它也会满足你个人，因为你个人的一面并不真正想要太多。它只想被包容、安全和拥有一些基本必需品。真的，你不需要那么多，但你的存在却需要很多。它只有一个意图，那就是在这个生命中按照自己的设计被有意义地使用。当我们说到发展内识时，我们说的是获得对你的存在的访问，并允许它表达自己和发挥自己的方向。
Many marriages in the world are purely experiments, that is all. But you see, a marriage that cannot consummate itself requires a lot of energy. In some ways, it leaves a scar on you. There is a sense of failure that abides with divorce, even if divorce has become obviously necessary. That is why we do not wish for people to use marriage for experimentation because as it fails, it uses up your vital energy tremendously and it leaves a scar.
世界上的许多婚姻都是纯粹的实验，仅此而已。但是你看，一段不能自我完善的婚姻需要很大的能量。在某些方面，它在你身上留下了一块疤痕。有一种失败感伴随着离婚而存在，即使离婚显然已经成为必要。这就是为什么我们不希望人们用婚姻来做实验，因为它失败了，它极大地消耗了你的生命能量，并留下了疤痕。
Do not look at a person’s personality and say, “I will be fulfilled with this person.” Personalities are far too limited to fulfill anybody, and they are very wasteful if they are the object of your intent. There are so many experiments in this world to undertake and so many exciting things to pursue, you could quite easily waste your life. There always seem to be new thrills, new inducements, new excitements and new hopes. Yet, as you grow older, your ability to change and your ability to see the truth lessens.
不要看一个个人的人格而说：”我和这个人在一起会得到满足”。人格太有限了，不能满足任何人，如果他们是你意图的对象，他们就非常浪费。在这个世界上有这么多的实验可以进行，有这么多令人兴奋的事情可以追求，你可以很容易地浪费你的生命。似乎总是有新的刺激，新的诱因，新的兴奋和新的希望。然而，随着你年龄的增长，你改变的能力和看到真理的能力就会降低。
Most relationships that you see are experiments, but they are not all necessarily wasteful. You have to find out the difference between what is meaningful and what is not, and experience is the hardest but most persuasive teacher. When we speak of waste, we are talking about trying to recreate the same thing over and over, thinking that a new exciting person will give you a different result.
你所看到的大多数关系都是实验，但它们不一定都是浪费的。你必须找出什么是有意义的和什么是没有意义的区别，而经历是最难但最有说服力的老师。当我们谈到浪费时，我们说的是试图一遍又一遍地重现同样的事情，认为一个新的令人兴奋的人将给你一个不同的结果。
Relationships that are for contrast can illustrate the deeper and more important things in life. They do this because they are disappointing. They do this because they do not satisfy you in the way you had thought and so, perhaps, you need something greater. This takes you within yourself and, hopefully, will make you more observant of your environment and your encounters in the world.
用于对比的关系可以说明生命中更深层次和更重要的内识。他们这样做是因为他们是令人失望的。他们这样做是因为他们没有以你所想的方式满足你，因此，也许你需要更大的东西。这将使你进入自己的内心，并希望能使你对你的环境和你在这个世界上的遭遇有更多观察力。
We hope that you can receive this in loving kindness because we want people to feel they have meaning in this world, intrinsic meaning, not just something they made up for themselves, not some kind of explanation that they have been using to justify their lives, but something they feel is a guiding force within them. If you are feeling this, then follow it. Do not hold back. There are very few people who have found this, and it will be very sad for you to waste such a rare gift.
我们希望你能以仁爱之心收到这些，因为我们希望人们能感觉到他们在这个世界上是有意义，有内在的意义，而不是他们为自己编造的谎言，不是他们一直用来证明自己生命的某种解释，而是他们觉得是他们内心的一种指导力量。如果你有这种感觉，那就跟着它。不要隐瞒。找到这一点的人非常少，如果你浪费了这样一个难得的礼物，它将是非常可悲的。
Therefore, seek Knowledge. Don’t worry about marriage. If you are seeking Knowledge, you will have to have marriage, with someone, in some context, whether you are a householder or celibate. Life won’t let you get away without it. You will have to have marriage, for you will thrive on devotion.
因此，寻求内识。不要担心婚姻问题。如果你在寻求内识，你将不得不有婚姻，与某人，在某种情况下，无论你是家长还是独身主义者。生命不会让你没有婚姻。你必须要有婚姻，因为你将在奉献中成长。
I tell you, you will not know God until you are devoted. Devotion is a giving of heart that is spontaneous. It is not something you have to try to do. If it is happening in any realm for you, and it is true and gives you vitality, then please, let this express itself.
我告诉你，在你没有奉献之前，你不会知道上帝。奉献是一种自发内心的给予。它不是你必须努力去做的事情。如果它在你的任何领域发生，并且是真实的，给你带来活力，那么请你让它自己表达出来。
Devotion is something you should not judge from the outside. It is like the Kingdom of God in the world. You are either inside or outside the gates. That is all. Things look very different on the outside. From there, the people on the inside look like they are giving things up all the time. It is such a different emphasis. On the inside you keep wanting to give your life all the time because you get it back more powerfully. You do not want to keep anything for yourself because it simply becomes a detriment. You want to keep giving because your gift becomes stronger.
奉献是你不应该从外部判断的东西。它就像世界上的天国。你要么在门内，要么在门外。这就是全部。事情在外面看起来非常不同。从那里看，里面的人看起来像是一直在放弃东西。这是一个如此不同的重点。在内心深处，你一直渴望给予你的生命，因为你会更有力地得到它的回报。你不想为自己保留任何东西，因为它只会成为一种损害。你想继续给予，因为这使你的礼物变得更强大。
Life will conspire to help you value Knowledge. It will also conspire to bring you into contact with people who will teach you what is meaningful and what is not. And if there is opportunity for real devotion, life will conspire to engage you with this.
生命会密谋帮助你重视内识。它也会密谋让你与那些会教你什么是有意义的、什么是没有意义的人接触。如果有机会进行真正的奉献，生命会密谋让你参与其中。
When you leave this world, you return to your learning group. There is devotion there. It is not a personal problem. You simply belong. It is evident that you belong. In fact, you will not even think about it because there is no contrast to belonging. Here in the world, there is contrast everywhere to belonging, and so it seems incomprehensible that you could have something like this waiting for you. When you are able to give to this world what you have with your group, then you will no longer need to come here, for the world will no longer be a separate place. It will not be an exception to Knowledge and to true relationship. As each member of your group completes his or her work here, then you will all move on together and you will have a new challenge.
当你离开这个世界时，你会回到你的学习小组。那里有奉献。这不是一个个人的问题。你只是属于。你的归属感是很明显的。事实上，你甚至不会去想它，因为对归属感没有任何对比。在这个世界上，到处都有与归属感的对比，因此，你会有这样的关系在等待着你，似乎是不可理解的。当你能够把你和你的团体所拥有的礼物给予这个世界时，那么你将不再需要来到这里，因为世界将不再是一个单独的地方。它将不再是内识和真实关系的例外。当你小组的每个成员完成了他或她在这里的工作，那么你们将一起继续前进，你们将有一个新的挑战。
Your Inner Teachers are the advanced members of your group. They need you to progress because if you do not, your group does not progress. You see, do not think of this as obligation. It is simply the way it is. You are not alone; you are part of something. If you do not discover this in this life, then you go Home to your group and you realize, “Ah, I did not do it! I forgot again! How soon can I go back? I want to go back. I know what to do now. It was awful down there, but I have to go back.” Why do you have to go back? Because you do. Because that is Knowledge.
你的内在老师是你们小组的高级成员。他们需要你的进步，因为如果你不进步，你的团体就不会进步。你看，不要把这看作是义务。这只是它的方式。你并不孤单；你是某些关系的一部分。如果你在这个生命中没有发现这一点，那么你回到你的团体中，你会发现，”啊，我什么也没有做！我又忘记了！”。我又忘了!我多久才能回去？我想回去。我现在知道该怎么做了。下面的情况很糟糕，但我必须回去。”为什么你必须回去？因为你有。因为你有内识。
This is not you as an individual being a free agent in the universe. There are no free agents in the universe. Why? Because there is no separation in the universe, and without separation, the only free agent is everything, and everything works together. Freedom, then, is the ability to be with everything harmoniously. There is nothing else that is free.
这不是你作为一个个体在宇宙中的自由代理人。宇宙中没有自由。为什么？因为宇宙不是分离的，没有分离，唯一的自由是一切，而一切都在一起工作。那么，自由就是与万物和谐相处的能力。没有别的个体是自由的。
Now, when you approach relationship and you are interested in someone and feel drawn, take time with yourself before you get involved sexually and emotionally. Contemplate what is in front of you. Your Knowledge has no answer except “Yes” or “No,” or it will give you conditions for participation. That is Knowledge. If you do not consult it, then you must take your chances. Once you become sexually engaged, you are bonded. It will be very difficult to use Knowledge then, unless, of course, the relationship is completely inappropriate—in which case your Knowledge will kick you out of it.
现在，当你接近关系，你对某人感兴趣并感到被吸引时，在你卷入性和情感之前，花点时间与自己相处。思考一下你面前的关系。你的内识除了”是”或”不是”之外没有答案，或者它将给你参与的条件。这就是内识。如果你不咨询它，那么你必须把握住机会。一旦你们发生了性关系，你们就结合在一起。这时就很难使用内识，当然，除非这种关系完全不合适——在这种情况下，你的内识会把你踢出这段关系。
As you become stronger with Knowledge, your Knowledge exerts a greater influence. If you are about to make a mistake, it will certainly let you know. Your reaction to things will become much more intense.
当你的内识变得更强大时，你的内识会施加更大的影响。如果你要犯错误，它肯定会让你知道。你对事物的反应将变得更加深刻。
But it is very difficult to use Knowledge when you are emotionally involved because your personal side wants so much. Of course it wants. How can it not want? It is alone; it is seeking desperately. You see, the personal side wants to be alone but not lonely, so it is very difficult for it to maintain a relationship. It wants to be sure the wonderful person is there, but it also wants to be sure it gets its own way. What happens, then, is that you have a conflict of purpose.
但是，当你情绪化时，使用内识是非常困难的，因为你个人的一面想要如此之多。它当然想要。它怎么可能不想要？它是孤独的；它在拼命地寻求。你看，个人的一面想要孤独但不寂寞，所以它很难维持一种关系。它想确保那个美好的人在那里，但它也想确保自己得到自己的方式。那么，发生的情况是，你有一个目的的冲突。
Meanwhile, your Knowledge is sleeping within you. It is not involved. It is not in the relationship. You cannot take this person whom you love very much and make your own Being be married. Your own Being knows exactly whom it will marry, and you cannot tell it to be married to this other person. If you think you can, you have no idea how great your Being is and how tiny your personal side. It is like a little ant telling the mountain to move over. It says, “Move over! I’m coming through.”
同时，你的内识在你体内沉睡。它没有参与。它不在这个关系中。你不能把这个你非常爱的人，让你自己的存在结婚。你自己的存在确切地知道它将与谁结婚，你不能告诉它要与这个人结婚。如果你认为你可以，你不知道你的存在是多么伟大，你的个人方面是多么渺小。它就像一只小蚂蚁叫山移到一边。并对它说：”让开！我正在通过。”
When your Being recognizes its partner, it will move you along. You will be committed already. You will not even know what is happening to you. It is not like falling in love. It is a different experience. It is not crazy and maddening and frustrating. It is very calm, like you have come home. It is like a little bit of your Spiritual Family is with you now, and you begin to have a sense of where you have come from and where you are going. In time, you will remember what you wanted to do here.
当你的存在认出它的同伴时，它就会让你前进。你将已经承诺。你甚至不会知道在你身上发生了什么。它不像坠入爱河。它是一种不同的经历。它不是疯狂的、令人费解的和令人沮丧的。它是非常平静的，就像你已经回到了家。就像你的精神家庭已经有一点与你同在，你开始对你从哪里来，回到哪里去有了感觉。随着时间的推移，你会记起你想在这里做什么。
So, let us not make marriage the objective. Marriage is the result, not the cause. Let the objective be to cultivate Knowledge, to receive the emissaries from your Spiritual Family who are your Inner Teachers and to begin to look at why you are here. Until you are married to your purpose, marriage with another cannot be consummated.
所以，让我们不要把婚姻作为目标。婚姻是结果，不是原因。让我们的目标是培养内识，接受来自你精神家庭的使者，他们是你的内在老师，并开始审视你为什么在这里。在你与你的目的结婚之前，与另一个人的婚姻是无法完成的。
Purpose is not a definition. It is not enough to go around saying, “This is why I am here.” Purpose is an abiding experience of belonging and intent. You are intent upon something. It does not matter so much if you succeed or fail in the world’s estimation so long as you can give in this direction. You will give even if you fail all the requirements that the world lays down. That is because your commitment is greater than the world. Your commitment is redemptive to the world. That is why relationships that come together to share this commitment are greater than the personalities involved.
目的不是一个定义。仅仅到处说”这就是我在这里的原因”是不够的。目的是一种持久的归属和意图的经历。你对某件事情很有兴趣。只要你能在这个方向上付出，你在世界的评价中是成功还是失败并不重要。即使你不能满足世界提出的所有要求，你也会给予。这是因为你的承诺比世界更大。你的承诺是对世界的救赎。这就是为什么走到一起分享这一承诺的关系比所涉及的人格更伟大。
Everyone is seeking their Spiritual Family here. Everyone is seeking this because they miss it. Why would you seek unless you were missing something? It is not only the sense of inclusion you are seeking; it is a sense of specific purpose here as well. Your specific purpose may express itself in a very mundane fashion. You do not all have to be great emancipators for your people. That is quite rare. It is that you have found a place in life to give yourself completely, and you can give yourself without having to negotiate.
每个人都在这里寻找他们的精神家庭。每个人都在寻求这个，因为他们错过了它。除非你缺少什么，否则你为什么要寻找？你所寻求的不仅是包容的感觉；也是在这里特定目的的感觉。你的特定目的可能以一种非常平凡的方式被表达出来。你不一定要成为你们人民的伟大解放者。那是相当罕见的。它是你已经在你的生活中找到的一个可以完全给予自己的位置，你可以不需要谈判就可以给予自己。
People want all kinds of things, or so they say, but all they really want is to belong somewhere. That is the underlying need. If they find where they belong, the central yearning has been answered. Then problems are small, not great. You can own all kinds of things and have all kinds of relationships, but if your central yearning has not been met, you will have a great problem. You will not be satisfied with what you have because it is not consummating you.
人们想要各种各样的东西，或者是他们是这样说的，但他们真正想要的是属于某个地方。这就是潜在的需求。如果他们找到了属于自己的地方，中心的渴望就得到了回应。那么问题就是小问题，而不是大问题。你可以拥有各种各样的东西，拥有各种各样的关系，但如果你的中心渴望没有得到回应，你就会有一个很大的问题。你将不会对你所拥有的关系感到满意，因为它不会完善你。
In The Greater Community Way of Knowledge, we prepare people for Knowledge—to experience Knowledge and to be activated in Knowledge. Let us give you this idea: the true marriage that we speak of is where two people are activating each other’s Knowledge. This is different from two people stimulating each other’s personalities. When you are activating each other’s Knowledge, which is something that you do not have to try to do, you are more who you are when you are together than when you are apart.
在大社区内识之路中，我们为人们准备了内识——经历内识，并在内识中得到激活。让我们给你这个想法：我们所说的真实婚姻是两个人在激活对方的内识。这与两个人互相刺激对方的人格不同。当你们激活彼此的内识时(这是你们不需要尝试去做的事情)，你们在一起的时候比分开的时候更能做你自己。
So, why try to be so independent and go off and say, “I don’t need anybody. I am totally who I am without anybody.” And then when you die, you go back to your group and you realize that you made the mistake of trying to be alone again, and you see you are totally not alone.
所以，为什么要尝试如此独立，去说，”我不需要任何人。没有任何人，我完全是我自己”。然后当你死后，你回到了你的团体中，你认识到你犯了一个错误，试图再次独自一人，然后你会看见，你完全不是独自一人。
The Unseen Ones are together, you know. Why are they so bonded? Because their relationship is established in Knowledge. They are wed through their Knowledge. Their minds can melt right into each other, and they have more power as a result.
不可见者都在一起，你知道。为什么他们会如此结合？因为他们的关系是在内识中建立的。他们通过他们的内识建立关系。他们的心智可以直接融入在一起，因此他们有更多的力量。
How are great things done in the world? They are never done by individuals. Greatness always happens because something greater is poured through the individual. It is like a fountain pen: It is not the tip but the vessel that holds all of the ink. In the world, you are like the tip touching the paper, but it is because you have a greater vessel to pour through you that you can provide something uncommon, important and lasting here.
世界上的伟大事件是如何完成的？它们从来不是由个人完成的。伟大的事情总是发生在个人身上，因为有更伟大的关系被浇灌。这就像一支钢笔。它不是笔尖，而是容纳所有墨水的容器。在这个世界上，你就像接触纸张的笔尖，但正是因为你有一个更大的容器通过你来浇灌，你才能在这里提供一些不寻常的、重要的和持久的礼物。
When you are acting with Knowledge, you stimulate Knowledge in others. This is the highest service. In fact, you do not even have to be trying to help anybody. Knowledge activates Knowledge. It is spontaneous. Not everyone can accept this, of course, and some people fight you when you try to do this or when you do this without trying, whatever the case may be. Who can be neutral in the face of Knowledge? Who can be unaffected?
当你带着内识行事时，你会在别人身上激发内识。这就是最高的服务。事实上，你甚至不需要试图去帮助任何人。内识激活了内识。它是自发的。当然，不是每个人都能接受这一点，当你试图这样做的时候，或者当你没有试图这样做的时候，不管是什么情况，有些人都会与你对抗。在内识面前，谁能保持中立？谁可以不受到影响？
For most people, their Knowledge emerges later in life when they have been sufficiently disappointed by the personal side, and they have begun to really feel their yearning for God and their yearning for true marriage with others. It is not a want. It is a yearning.
对大多数人来说，他们的内识出现在生命的后期，当他们对个人方面足够失望的时候，他们开始真正感受到他们对上帝的渴望和对与他人的真实婚姻的渴望。它不是一种需求。它是一种渴望。
