第十三章：维持关系

Chapter 13: Maintaining Relationships

As revealed to God’s Messenger Marshall Vian Summers on January 1, 1989 in Albany, NY
1989年1月1日，在纽约州奥尔巴尼(Albany, NY)，向上帝的信使马歇尔・维安・萨默斯(Marshall Vian Summers)揭示

A relationship worth maintaining is the one worth starting again.

值得维持的关系就是值得重新开始的关系。

What are the necessary criteria and the basic requirements for maintaining a primary relationship?
维持主要关系的必要标准和基本要求是什么？

First, it is necessary that you share a commitment to each other’s spiritual development. Second, you must be able to function together harmoniously in the mundane world. Third, you must meet each challenge as it comes along. The challenges will come along one after the other. They may seem difficult at first, but they provide the means for your relationship to become established. If seen correctly, these challenges enable you to grow closer together and grow outwardly at the same time.

首先，你们必须对彼此精神上的发展有共同的承诺。第二，你们必须能够在世俗世界中和谐地共同运作。第三，你们必须在每一个挑战到来的时候迎接它。挑战会一个接一个地出现。它们起初可能看起来很困难，但它们为你们的关系提供了建立的方式。如果看得正确，这些挑战使你们能够更紧密地联系在一起，同时向外成长。

This brings up the issues of honesty and self-expression. It is important to see that honesty means knowing what you know, accepting what you know and accepting what you don’t know. That is a basis for honesty. Many people think honesty is expressing everything that comes into their mind or expressing all of their emotions freely with whomever they want. That is not honesty and often produces a destructive result.

这就带来了诚实和自我表达的问题。重要的是要看到，诚实意味着知道你所知道的内识，接受你所知道的和接受你所不知道的。这是诚实的一个基础。许多人认为诚实就是表达他们脑海中的一切，或与他们想要的人自由地表达他们所有的情感。这不是诚实，往往会产生破坏性的结果。

There are times when you must express difficult things. There are times when you must confess how you really feel, even if you suspect it may be divisive or difficult for your partner to hear. However, you will find that these are the exceptions because your partner is not your therapist and should not be used as a sounding board for your whole range of self-expression. This is very important to remember, particularly for people who are involved in personal development and spiritual growth.

有的时候，你必须表达困难的事情。有的时候，你必须坦白你的真实感受，即使你怀疑这可能会引起分歧或让你的伴侣难以接受。然而，你会发现，这些都是例外，因为你的伴侣不是你的治疗师，不应该被用作你整个自我表达的传声筒。记住这一点非常重要，特别是对于参与个人发展和精神上成长的人。

Your partner cannot be everything to you. Therefore, you must find out, largely through experience, what you can express and what you cannot express in your relationship, what your partner can hear and what they cannot hear. To demand that your partner hear everything you have to say and face everything that you present is unfair and inappropriate. You yourself cannot do that. No one can do that.

你的伴侣不可能成为你的一切。因此，你必须找出，主要是通过经历，在你们的关系中，你能表达什么，不能表达什么，你的伴侣能听到什么，他们不能听到什么。要求你的伴侣听到你说的一切，面对你提出的一切，是不公平和不恰当的。你自己无法做到这一点。没有人可以做到这一点。

Therefore, your relationship will have boundaries, and these boundaries must be established and recognized. Each person’s inner life must be respected. It cannot be invaded at will by one’s partner. Each person must be accorded respect and recognition. Here you learn to listen more than you speak. Here you become more committed to understanding than to judging. Here you must experience your feelings rather than merely projecting them onto others. Here you must be willing to work out difficult problems together with as much tolerance as possible. This requires that you think of the other person’s well-being as well as your own.

因此，你们的关系会有界限，这些界限必须被建立和承认。每个人的内心生活必须得到尊重。它不能被一个人的伴侣随意侵犯。每个人都必须得到尊重和承认。在这里，你要学会倾听而不是说话。在这里，你变得更加致力于理解而不是评判。在这里，你必须经历你的感受，而不是仅仅把它们投射到其他人身上。在这里，你必须愿意以尽可能多的宽容来共同解决困难的问题。这要求你既要考虑对方的幸福，也要考虑你自身的幸福。

If you are committed to your partner’s well-being and they are committed to yours, you will escape many of the pitfalls that face growing relationships. This commitment must be there, but it cannot be taken for granted. It will need to be demonstrated, reaffirmed and reexamined as you go along. Remember, you are learning about relationships. To be a student, you must be willing to observe, to recognize your limitations and to take note of those things that you see.

如果你致力于你的伴侣的幸福，而他们也致力于你的幸福，你就会摆脱许多成长中的关系所面临的陷阱。这种承诺必须存在，但它不能被视为理所当然。它将需要在你前进的过程中被证明、被重申和被重新审视。记住，你正在学习关系。要成为一名学生，你必须愿意观察，认识到你的局限性，并注意到你看到的局限性。

In a marriage, you will need to determine if you will have children. You will need to determine how you will live and where you will live. Here you may have to make some sacrifices and you will. However, these sacrifices should not betray your inner nature or design.

在婚姻中，你将需要确定你们是否会有孩子。你将需要确定你将如何生活，以及你将在哪里生活。在这里，你可能不得不做出一些牺牲，你会的。然而，这些牺牲不应背叛你的内在的自然性或设计。

As you learn to experience the truth and express the truth constructively, you will learn discernment, restraint and tolerance. This will enable you to proceed. As you proceed, you will find that your involvement will require more of you and offer more to you than you had ever thought possible.

当你学会经历真理并建设性地表达真理时，你将学会辨别力、克制力和宽容。这将使你能够继续前进。随着你的前行，你会发现你的参与会比你以往想象的更需要你，并给予你更多。

Genuine friendships must be faced with challenges and must meet challenges if these relationships are to be strong. They require, as well, a commitment to the other person’s well-being. Relationships in your business life are the same. Here you cannot sacrifice your relationship for personal gain and hope to have a genuine relationship as a result. If you are being selfish, you are not being honest because you are concealing something for your own advantage.

真正的友谊必须面对挑战，必须迎接挑战，如果这些关系要强大。它们也需要对彼此的福祉作出承诺。你商业生活中的关系也是如此。在这里，你不能为了个人利益而牺牲你的关系，并希望因此而有一个真正的关系。如果你是自私的，你就不是诚实的，因为你在为自己的利益隐瞒一些事情。

Honesty is the key, but honesty is not an easy thing to address because people have a very limited view of what honesty is. They think honesty is knowing how you feel and expressing that. Honesty is feeling what you know and expressing that. Though they sound very similar, there is a world of difference between the two.

诚实是关键，但诚实并不是一件容易解决的事情，因为人们对诚实的看法非常有限。他们认为诚实是知道自己的感受并表达出来。诚实是感受你所知道的内识并将其表达出来。虽然它们听起来非常相似，但两者之间有天壤之别。

There are many things to be maintained day to day. In addition, there are things you must watch out for and be aware of, especially regarding your tendencies to make mistakes and your partner’s tendencies to make mistakes. You want to bring out the best in each other without overlooking that which may be detrimental. This takes skill and maturity. It requires that you attend to life around you and share as much of this with your partner as possible.

有许多关系需要日复一日地保持。此外，还有一些你必须注意的关系，特别是关于你犯错的倾向和你的伴侣犯错的倾向。你想把对方最好的一面展现出来，而不忽视那些可能有害的一面。这需要技巧和成熟度。它要求你关注你周围的生活，并尽可能多地与你的伴侣分享这些。

Being in the world will prepare you. Life will mature you if you are not resisting it. But you must participate wisely and be willing to learn about your spiritual life, your mental life and your physical life. You are working your way up the mountain and the scenery changes as you progress. Circumstances change. If you are honest, you can proceed. However, your honesty must evolve. Honesty leads you to Knowledge because it is the source of your honesty.

在这个世界上会让你做好准备。如果你不抗拒它，生活会使你成熟。但你必须明智地参与，并愿意学习你精神上的生活、你心理上的生活和你的物质生活。你正在努力往上爬，风景会随着你的进步而改变。情况会发生变化。如果你是诚实的，你可以继续前进。然而，你的诚实必须不断发展。诚实将你引向内识，因为它是你诚实的来源。

The question arises: “Which relationships are worth maintaining?” The relationships worth maintaining are the ones worth starting again. If you cannot start again, you cannot maintain your relationship. If you are committed to your purpose, to your spiritual growth and to the other person’s spiritual growth, and if you meet the challenges of your life without undue complaint, you will either grow together or grow apart. If you do not have all the components needed for a lasting relationship, then no matter what you do, the relationship will not be able to continue. And the more you try to make it continue, the more unreal you will become to yourself and to others. Therefore, a relationship worth maintaining is the one worth starting again.

问题出现了。”哪些关系值得维持？”值得维持的关系是值得重新开始的关系。如果你不能重新开始，你就不能维持你的关系。如果你致力于你的目的，致力于你精神上的成长，致力于对方精神上的成长，如果你迎接生活的挑战而没有不适当的抱怨，你们要么一起成长，要么分开成长。如果你们不具备持久关系所需的所有组成部分，那么无论你们做什么，这种关系都将无法继续。而你越是想让它继续下去，你对自己和他人就越是不真实。因此，值得维持的关系就是值得重新开始的关系。

What does it mean to share a purpose with someone?
与人分享一个目的是什么意思？

Sharing a purpose with someone means to carry out something important together in the world. Your purpose cannot merely be an idea or a concept. Here you cannot really say: “My purpose is spiritual growth.” That is not an expression of purpose. A purpose must be an expression of what you are specifically going to do in life. This must lead to action. Building a household, raising a family, beginning a business enterprise—this is where a relationship can grow. This is where purpose is expressed and thus experienced. Carrying forth a cause in the world is what matures people. They are doing something real in life.

与某人分享一个目的意味着在这个世界上一起进行一些重要的事情。你的目的不能仅仅是一个想法或一个概念。在这里，你不能真的说。”我的目的是精神上的成长”。这不是一个目的的表达。目的必须是表达你在生活中具体要做什么。这必须导致行动。建立一个家庭，养育一个家庭，开始一个商业活动——这是一个关系可以成长的地方。这是表达目的的地方，因此也是经历目的的地方。在世界范围内开展一项事业是使人成熟的原因。他们在生活中做一些真实的工作。

Many people are committed to ideas because that is easy. Very little is asked of you. Yet being committed to establishing something in the world asks a great deal. It tests you. This will show you if your relationship has all the right components.

许多人致力于想法，因为这很容易。对你的要求非常少。然而，致力于在这个世界上建立一些关系，则要求很高。它考验你。这将显示你的关系是否有所有正确的组成部分。

Great relationships are made; they are not simply realized. Therefore, it is necessary to speak of purpose in terms of what you are doing together in life. Purpose is born of an inner awareness, but its expression will change your understanding and shape it. People cannot come together because they share an ideal. They come together to do something based upon an inner conviction. A real marriage may not have high ideals. It may not be committed to saving the world or any part of the world, but if it has a commitment to provide for others, then it has a genuine commitment. It has a commitment both to give to others and to sustain the marriage. This is a commitment that must be born out day after day, sometimes hour after hour. This is purpose in relationship.

伟大的关系是创造出来的；它们不是简单地实现。因此，有必要从你们在生活中一起做什么的角度来谈论目的。目的源于内在的觉知，但它的表达将改变你的理解并塑造它。人们不能因为他们有共同的理想而走到一起。他们走到一起是为了做一些基于内在信念的事情。一个真正的婚姻可能没有崇高的理想。它可能不会致力于拯救世界或世界的任何部分，但如果它有一个为他人提供的承诺，那么它就有一个真正的承诺。它有一个承诺，既要为他人付出，又要维持婚姻。这是一种承诺，必须日复一日地实现，有时甚至是时时刻刻。这就是关系中的目的。

People often think purpose is grandiose such as saving the world or becoming close to God. That is not purpose. Your real purpose is doing a small part of a Greater Plan which is beyond your comprehension. This small part is essential. Yet it is not small in terms of your life; it is great. You do not need to be great to do great things. You need only be committed to providing what is necessary and to maintaining yourself as a provider. Then great things can happen through you. Raising children is a great thing. Running a household is a great thing. Operating a business is a great thing. Meeting your worldly responsibilities is a great thing. Many people with high ideals cannot do any of these.

人们常常认为目的是宏伟的，如拯救世界或接近上帝。这不是目的。你真正的目的是做一个更伟大计划的一小部分，而这个计划是你无法理解的。这个小部分是必不可少的。但就你的生命而言，它并不小；它是伟大的。你不需要成为伟大的人就能做伟大的事。你只需要致力于提供必要的礼物，并保持自己是一个提供者。然后伟大的关系就会通过你发生。养育孩子是一件伟大的事情。管理一个家庭是一件伟大的事情。经营一个企业是一件伟大的事情。履行你的世俗责任是一件伟大的事。许多有崇高理想的人都做不到这些。

Therefore, when you think of having a purpose, think of what you can do together. That is why romance is so disappointing. It cannot do anything except provide entertainment. It is meant to avoid life, not to engage with it. It needs danger, uncertainty, excitement, allurement and pleasure continuously in order to survive. That is not life. When you cease to have this stimulation in romance, your interest begins to wane and you move on to someone new to regain the excitement. This is mindless and destructive. This only hurts people.

因此，当你想到要有一个目的时，要想到你们能一起做什么。这就是为什么浪漫是如此令人失望的原因。除了提供娱乐，它不能做任何事情。它是为了避免生活，而不是为了参与生活。它需要危险、不确定性、刺激、诱惑和快乐，以便持续生存。这不是生命。当你在浪漫中不再有这种刺激时，你的兴趣开始减弱，你会转向新的人以重新获得刺激。这是无意识的和破坏性的。这只会伤害人。

If you are doing something meaningful in life, you will have the basis for sharing a purpose with others. That is why your first step is to do something meaningful in life. Start with what is meaningful to you now. This may not be ultimately what you will be doing, but it could be a starting point, and even here you can derive tremendous satisfaction. If you are living a life that is meaningful, you are preparing to be in a relationship that is meaningful. If you are living a life of purpose, then you are already in a relationship of purpose with your Spiritual Family, with your Inner Teachers and certainly with others in life. Here marriage becomes a requirement and not merely a preference. Anything that is a requirement in life happens.

如果你在生命中做一些有意义的事情，你将有与他人分享目的的基础。这就是为什么你的第一步是在生命中做一些有意义的事情。从现在对你有意义的事情开始。这可能不是你最终要做的事情，但它可以是一个起点，即使在这里你也可以获得巨大的满足。如果你正在过一种有意义的生命，你就准备好处于一种有意义的关系。如果你过着有意义的生命，那么你就已经与你的精神家庭、你的内在老师，当然还有生活中的其他人建立了有意义的关系。在这里，婚姻成为一种要求，而不仅仅是一种偏好。生命中的任何要求都会发生。

What makes a relationship spiritual and how can I develop this?
是什么让一种关系成为精神上的关系，我怎样才能发展这种关系？

The answer to this question is twofold: one is spiritual preparation and the other is worldly accomplishment. Every relationship has a possibility of generating some kind of spiritual emergence, though it may be very limited and short-lived. If all the components are there to succeed in a lasting relationship, and if true marriage is intended for two people who are designed for each other, the possibility for spiritual discovery and contribution is immense. Yet, in either case, success must arise from attunement to one’s inner life and responsibility in one’s outer life.

这个问题的答案有两个方面：一个是精神上的准备，另一个是世俗的成就。每一种关系都有可能产生某种精神上的出现，尽管它可能非常有限和短暂。如果所有的组成部分都在那里，可以在持久的关系中取得成功，如果真实的婚姻是为两个人设计的，那么精神上的发现和贡献的可能性是巨大的。然而，无论在哪种情况下，成功都必须来自于对自己内心生活的调适和对自己外部生活的责任。

Here you cannot use spirituality to escape from the world and you cannot use the world to escape from spirituality, for you need both. You cannot devote fifty percent of yourself to God and fifty percent of yourself to the world because this will never work. You must simply learn to be with God as you go out into the world.

在这里，你不能用精神性来逃避世界，也不能用世界来逃避精神性，因为你需要两者。你不能把自己的百分之五十献给上帝，百分之五十献给世界，因为这永远不会成功。你必须简单地学会在你走向世界时与上帝在一起。

Spirituality is not a lifestyle; it is an abiding presence and an abiding awareness in your life. Meditating all day long and playing with crystals and listening to bells is not a spiritual life. The person who comes to take your garbage out once a week may be living a far more spiritual life. Spiritual life is the presence that is with you and the awareness that you carry. These are fostered in meeting worldly responsibilities and in maintaining your inner life. There is nothing mystical about this; there is nothing occult about this. All the things that are associated with religion and spirituality may be present or not. Spirituality is an abiding awareness and an abiding presence that you take with you into life. Here you must meet the requirements of your life and not run away from them. This is what matures you. This is what makes you a worthy vehicle for God’s expression. This is what makes your relationship with others complete and full, ever growing and ever renewing itself. Then the passage of time will not be seen as a loss of the glory and glamour of your youth, but as a deepening and maturing of your experience, your contribution and the depth of your intimacy with those who make up your primary relationships.

精神性不是一种生活方式；它是你生命中持久的存在和持久的觉知。整天打坐、玩水晶、听钟声不是精神上的生活。每周来给你倒一次垃圾的人可能过的是一种更精神上的生活。精神上的生活是与你同在的存在和你所携带的觉知。这些都是在履行世俗的责任和维持你的内在生活中培养出来的。这并不神秘，也并不神秘学。宗教和精神性所关联的一切可能存在，也可能不存在。精神性是一种持久的觉知和持久的存在，你带着它进入生活。在这里你必须满足你生活的要求，而不是逃避它们。这就是使你成熟的原因。这就是使你成为上帝表达的一个有价值的载体。这就是使你与他人的关系完整和充实，不断成长和不断自我更新的原因。那么，时间的流逝将不会被视为失去你年轻时的荣耀和魅力，而是被视为你的经历、你的贡献以及你与构成你主要关系的人的亲密关系的深化和成熟。

Do not seek an easy life. Do not seek a life without work. Do not seek a life that is all joyful and wonderful, pleasurable and relaxing. That is not a real life. Pleasure and enjoyment will attend you if your work in the world is meaningful. If your work in the world is meaningful, then the relationships that are associated with that work will be meaningful. It all works together.

不要寻求轻松的生活。不要寻求没有工作的生活。不要寻求一种全是快乐和美好的、愉悦和放松的生活。那不是真正的生活。如果你在世界上的工作是有意义的，快乐和享受将伴随你。如果你在世界上的工作是有意义的，那么与该工作相关的关系也将是有意义的。这一切都在一起发挥作用。

A relationship is spiritual if it is truly honest. It does not mean that you sit around and talk about spiritual powers, spiritual objects, spiritual images and spiritual levels. That is all idle talk if it is not imbued with the presence and the awareness that is spirituality. True relationship and true love engender true spirituality. Here you know that you are not alone in the universe, not simply because you are in a relationship with one person, but because you are in a meaningful relationship with life and with the world.

如果一种关系是真正诚实的，它就是精神上的。这并不意味着你们坐在一起谈论精神上的力量、精神上的对象、精神上的形象和精神上的层面。如果没有精神性的存在和觉知，那都是空谈。真实的关系和真实的爱会产生真实的精神性。在这里，你知道你在宇宙中并不孤单，不只是因为你与一个人有关系，而是因为你与生命和世界有意义的关系。

You were sent here to give. If you are giving, then your spirituality is expressing itself. If you are not giving, then you are frustrated and your spirituality is still in the realm of speculation. Therefore, the emphasis is for you to discover what you have to give. This will teach you about your design. Once you learn about your design, you will learn about your Designer. This is how God is experienced. Perhaps sometime later in life when you look back and see what you have done, you will say, “Now I know who I am. This is what I came here to do,” and you will experience the Designer. Your meaning in the world is about your design and your Designer. Beyond this world it is different. You came here to do something and you came here to give. You came here to find certain people to join with you in making your contribution. If that is being accomplished, your spiritual life is active already and the awareness will be with you and the presence will be with you.

你被派到这里是为了给予。如果你在给予，那么你的精神性就会被表现出来。如果你不给予，那么你就会感到沮丧，你的精神性仍然处于猜测的境界。因此，重点是让你发现你有什么可以给予的。这将使你了解你的设计。一旦你了解了你的设计，你就会了解你的设计者。这就是经历上帝的方式。也许在生命的某个时候，当你回顾过去，看到你所做的一切，你会说：”现在我知道我是谁了。这就是我来到这里要做的事情。”你会经历到设计者。你在这个世界上的意义是关于你的设计和你的设计师。在这个世界之外，情况就不同了。你来这里是为了做一些事情，你来这里是为了给予。你来到这里是为了找到某些人与你一起做出贡献。如果这已经实现，你精神上的生活已经是活跃的，你将拥有这种觉知和存在。

Concern yourself with the work you have to do in the world. Concern yourself with opening yourself to those people whom you recognize as partners and participants in your giving. There will be spiritual, mental and physical thresholds through which you must pass. Here your physical life will serve your mental life, which in turn will serve your spiritual life. In this way, you will be uplifted and everything will have purpose, meaning and direction for you.

关注你在世界上必须完成的工作。关注向那些你认识到是你给予的合作伙伴和参与者敞开自己。你将要经历精神、心理和身体上的门槛。在这里，你的身体生活将服务于你的心理生活，进而服务于你精神上的生活。通过这种方式，你将得到提升，一切对你来说都有目的、意义和方向。

Spiritual practice is important. Yet you must determine whether you need to have a formal spiritual practice or not. Spiritual practice is an expedient here. It will save you valuable time. Yet it must be wedded with meaningful work and honest engagement with others. In this way, you will reap its great benefits. Without an arena of expression, however, spiritual practices are like seeds that will not sprout, a crop that will not produce, an endeavor that will not yield its intended benefits. That is why when you speak of spirituality, speak of work in the world and of meaningful relationships, for this is where spirituality lives and expresses itself through the love and labor of people.

精神上的练习是很重要的。然而，你必须确定你是否需要有正式精神上的实践。精神上的实践在这里是一种权宜之计。它将为你节省宝贵的时间。然而，它必须与有意义的工作和与他人的真诚交往结合起来。通过这种方式，你将获得巨大的好处。然而，如果没有一个表达的舞台，精神上的练习就像不会发芽的种子，不会生产的作物，不会产生预期的好处的努力。这就是为什么当你谈到精神性时，要谈到世界上的工作和有意义的关系，因为这是精神性生活的地方，通过人们的爱和劳动来表达自己。

What about sexuality and spirituality?
关于什么是性和精神性？

There are many questions concerning sexuality and spirituality. People’s experience of error and discord around sexuality can be so substantial that they might want to escape it altogether. Sometimes sexuality is not necessary, and that physical energy, or life force, will be expressed in a different way. This is appropriate for people who will remain single or celibate, for ascetics in monasteries, and sometimes for very creative people who need to channel all of that energy into their work.

有许多关于性和精神性的问题。人们在性方面的错误和不和谐的经历可能是如此之多，以至于他们可能想完全逃避它。有时性行为是不必要的，那种身体能量或生命力将以不同的方式表达。这适合于那些将保持单身或独身的人，适合于寺院里的苦行僧，有时也适合于非常有创造力的人，他们需要把所有的能量输送到他们的工作中。

For everyone, the challenge is to manage sexuality wisely because it represents the movement of your life force. You must become aware of this life force and find constructive expression for it in your life. Sexuality is harmful to people when this expression is misappropriated or given out mindlessly or used to gain a preference or a benefit. Sexuality is helpful to your spiritual development if it engenders both intimacy through union with your mate and the propagation of children. After all, without sexuality, you would not be in the world; no one would be in the world. Therefore, denying your sexual impulses is hardly a testament to the grace of life. Yet managing this vital energy is necessary. As a married person, you will be attracted to other people from time to time. That is normal. Some people may be stimulating to you. But here again you must support that which is essential to your well-being. Here restraint is necessary. You cannot have everyone you want, you cannot do everything you want, you cannot own everything you want, you cannot go in every direction you want and you cannot have all the experiences you want. This is obvious if you will look. Therefore, give yourself to that which you value most highly, and things of lesser value are either satisfied in the process or given up.

对每个人来说，挑战是明智地管理性行为，因为它代表了你生命力的运动。你必须察觉到这种生命力，并在你的生活中为它找到建设性的表达。当这种表达方式被盗用或无意识地发出，或被用来获得偏好或利益时，性对人是有害的。如果性行为通过与你的伴侣结合而产生亲密关系，并繁殖孩子，那么性行为对你精神上的发展是有帮助的。毕竟，没有性，你就不会在这个世界上；任何人都不会存在于这个世界上。因此，否认你的性冲动很难说是对生命之恩的证明。然而，管理这种重要的能量是必要的。作为一个已婚人士，你会不时地被其他人吸引。这很正常。有些人可能会对你产生刺激。但在此，你必须支持对你的福祉至关重要的关系。这里的克制是必要的。你不能拥有你想要的所有人，你不能做你想要的一切，你不能拥有你想要的一切，你不能去你想去的每一个方向，你不能拥有你想要的所有经历。如果你愿意看，这是显而易见的。因此，把自己交给你最看重的关系，价值较低的关系在这个过程中要么满足，要么放弃。

Would you throw away or damage a life-long marriage for a night in bed with someone else? This is an important question. If you would, you obviously do not value your marriage and are seeking to undermine it in the name of personal satisfaction. There are even more devious expressions of the use of sexuality where it becomes a liability. Attraction between people is normal to a certain extent, but it becomes aberrant when people are using sexuality to gain other favors.

你会为了和别人在床上的一晚而丢弃或损害一生的婚姻吗？这是一个重要的问题。如果你会，你显然不重视你的婚姻，并试图以个人满足的名义破坏它。在性行为成为一种责任的情况下，还有更狡猾的表达方式来使用性行为。人与人之间的吸引在某种程度上是正常的，但当人们利用性行为来获得其他好处时，它就变得反常了。

If you understand the power of sexuality and its importance, you will not want to misuse it. You will want to protect it, save it and use it wisely. If you feel sexual and yet you are without a mate, use your sexual energy to deepen your spiritual practice and to accomplish things in the world. It is only energy after all. It is not sexual in origin. It is merely something you feel in a certain part of your body that expresses itself in a sexual way. You do not need to act upon this. In the same manner, sometimes you become very angry with people and you want to hurt them. Does that mean you go ahead and hurt them? No, not if you want to have your life be constructive and meaningful.

如果你理解性的力量和它的重要性，你就不会想滥用它。你会想保护它，保存它，并明智地使用它。如果你有性的感觉，但你却没有伴侣，那就用你的性能量来深化你精神上的实践，并在世界范围内完成一些事情。它毕竟只是能量。它不是性的本源。它只是你在身体的某个部位感觉到的能量，以性的方式表达出来。你不需要据此行事。以同样的方式，有时你对人非常生气，你想伤害他们。这是否意味着你要去伤害他们？不，如果你想让你的生活变得有建设性和有意义，那就不是。

Here it is the wise use of your powers that is important. Sexuality is a power because it is influential with people. Yet in many ways, sexuality is highly overrated. The reason it is so highly valued is that people have nothing else to value. If you are out of touch with the real value of your life, you will value things that have far less value in and of themselves.

在这里，明智地使用你的力量才是重要的。性是一种力量，因为它对人有影响。然而在许多方面，性能力被高度高估。它被高度重视的原因是，人们没有其他东西可以重视。如果你与你生命的真正价值脱节，你会重视那些本身价值就低得多的东西。

Sexuality is valuable, but only insofar as it supports the experience of union and marriage and in propagating the race. However, to make sexuality the main expression or the sole interest of your life is aberrant and will hurt you and other people. It will distort your vision of everything else. It will become an addiction, for it is taking the place of Knowledge.

性是有价值的，但只是在它支持结合和婚姻的经历以及传播种族的范围内。然而，将性行为作为你生活的主要表现或唯一兴趣是不正常的，会伤害你和其他人。它将扭曲你对其他事物的看法。它将成为一种瘾头，因为它正在取代内识的位置。

What you will experience with Knowledge is infinitely more pleasurable than what you experience from sexuality. Not that the pleasure is greater; it is simply more consistent. Late in life many people transcend their sexuality simply because there are more pleasurable things to do. Their life force expresses itself in different ways.

你将经历到的内识，比你从性行为中经历到的快乐要多得多。并不是说快乐更大；它只是更稳定。在生命的晚期，许多人超越了他们的性行为，只是因为有更多令人愉快的事情可以做。他们的生命力以不同的方式表达它自己。

Sexuality is fine. Do not overrate it. Yet it must be applied properly and for the right reasons, or it will become very dangerous for you and very harmful. It will bond you to people with whom you can have no real relationship. It will waste your life force. It will destroy your vitality.

性行为是好的。不要高估它。然而，它必须被正确地应用，并有正确的理由，否则它将变得对你非常危险，非常有害。它将使你与那些你不能有真正关系的人结合在一起。它将浪费你的生命力。它将破坏你的活力。

Is monogamy necessary?
一夫一妻制是必要的吗？

Yes, of course. You are naturally designed to be mated in this way. If you are being honest with yourself and your partner, there will be no need to go elsewhere. If there are sexual problems, seek professional help. However, it is always a question of honesty. Are you being honest with yourself and your partner? And are you finding constructive ways to express your honesty?

是的，当然是。你被自然设计成以这种方式交配。如果你对自己和你的伴侣诚实，就没有必要去其他地方。如果有性问题，请寻求专业帮助。然而，这始终是一个诚实的问题。你是否对自己和你的伴侣诚实？而且你是否找到建设性的方法来表达你的诚实？

Everyone knows that monogamy is necessary, though many people will not accept this because they are afraid they will be trapped in some way. This reflects dishonesty because they are not being real and truthful with themselves. Relationship is a commitment to growth and to productivity. If it is only a commitment to personal happiness, it has no commitment at all. The commitment must always be to give and not to take. You cannot be committed to what you will receive from something. You can only be meaningfully committed to what you can give to something. Then, it is up to you to open yourself to receive the benefits and the lessons that are the result of your commitment.

每个人都知道一夫一妻制是必要的，尽管许多人不会接受这一点，因为他们担心自己会在某些方面被困住。这反映了不诚实，因为他们对自己不真实，不坦诚。关系是对成长和生产力的一种承诺。如果它只是对个人幸福的承诺，那么它根本就没有承诺。承诺必须始终是给予而不是索取。你不能承诺你将从某个关系中得到什么。你只能有意义地承诺你能给予什么。然后，由你来开放自己，收到你的承诺所带来的益处和教训。

In marriage, monogamy is necessary. You were designed for this; it is natural. If you violate this, there will be difficulty and whatever rewards you seek outside of your marriage will be very costly to you. If your marriage requires serious work, then give it serious work. If your marriage is not appropriate for you, then break away, but be honest. Do not violate trust with yourself and with your mate. Do not think that you can go against what nature has designed for you just to meet your personal preferences.

在婚姻中，一夫一妻制是必要的。你被设计成这样；这是很自然的。如果你违反了这一点，就会有困难，无论你在婚姻之外寻求什么回报，都会让你付出很大代价。如果你的婚姻需要认真工作，那么就给它认真工作。如果你的婚姻不适合你，那么就脱离，但要诚实。不要违反对自己和配偶的信任。不要认为你可以违背大自然为你设计的自然性，只是为了满足你的个人喜好。

To be in any relationship, you give up something. See if what you are giving up is worth giving up. Real personal freedom is the freedom to find Knowledge and to express Knowledge. Real freedom is the freedom to be in relationship and to be free from your own internal obstructions and conflicts. This is freedom. Freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want is chaos. That is not freedom. That will lead you into divisive engagements. That will destroy genuine friendships. Using freedom in this way will undermine everything that is positive that you have undertaken to create. Understand freedom and do not use freedom as an excuse to betray your best interests.

参与任何关系，你都会放弃一些东西。看看你放弃的东西是否值得放弃。真正的个人自由是找到内识并表达内识的自由。真正的自由是能够建立关系，摆脱内心的阻碍和冲突。这才是真正的自由。随时随地做任何你想做的事情的自由是混乱。那不是真正的自由。这会导致你陷入分裂的争斗中。这会摧毁真正的友谊。以这种方式使用自由将破坏你努力创造的一切积极成果。理解自由，不要用自由作为借口来背叛你的最佳利益。

Again, it is all a matter of honesty. If you are committed to doing something that is dishonest, you must continually deceive yourself and others. That is why the key word in relationships is honesty. This requires that you examine yourself—your motives, your thinking and your behavior. This requires that you share yourself with others to learn of the meaning of your self-expression and to experience yourself as a contributor.

同样，这都是一个诚实的问题。如果你致力于做不诚实的事情，你必须不断地欺骗自己和他人。这就是为什么关系中的关键词是诚实。这要求你审视你自己——你的动机、你的思维和你的行为。这要求你与他人分享你自己，了解你自我表达的意义，经历你自己的贡献。

There are many attractions in this world. They are more available now than ever. As a married person, you will at some point be attracted to others. Yet if you allow this attraction to dominate your mind and to incite dissension in your primary relationship, it means that you are not being honest with yourself regarding your primary relationship and the nature of the attraction. There are many beautiful things to stimulate you, and there are many pretty faces to allure you, but Knowledge is not moved by these things. There are many glorious diversions that seem to thrill and incite great interest, but Knowledge is not moved by these things. Therefore, the more you are with Knowledge, the less distracted you will be and thus the less conflicted you will be. After a time, you will realize that these attractions are a vexation of the mind. They torment you. They offer very little promise, if any. They only seek to disrupt your primary focus.

在这个世界上有许多吸引力。它们现在比以往任何时候都更容易获得。作为一个已婚人士，你会在某些时候被别人所吸引。然而，如果你允许这种吸引力支配你的心灵，并在你的主要关系中挑起争端，这意味着你在你的主要关系和吸引力的性质方面没有对自己诚实。有许多美丽的事物刺激着你，有许多漂亮的面孔诱惑着你，但内识并不为这些事物所动。有许多光鲜的消遣，似乎会让人兴奋，激起巨大的兴趣，但内识并不为这些兴趣所动。因此，你越是和内识在一起，你就越是心无旁骛，因此你的矛盾就越少。一段时间后，你会意识到，这些吸引力是心灵的困扰。它们折磨着你。它们提供的承诺非常少，如果有的话。它们只想扰乱你的主要焦点。

A primary relationship is something that is evolving and that requires ongoing development. If you are honest within this relationship and honest concerning your intentions there, you will have the criteria for recognizing other forms of allurement or stimulation and be able to respond to them appropriately. In the larger scheme of things, you give up things that are little and momentary for something that is great and permanent. You give up things that can produce nothing for something that can produce a great deal.

一种主要的关系是不断发展的，它需要不断发展。如果你在这种关系中是诚实的，对你的意图是诚实的，你就会有识别其他形式的诱惑或刺激的标准，并能够对它们作出适当的回应。在更大的计划中，你放弃了一些小的和暂时的关系，以换取一些伟大和永久的关系。你放弃了可以不产生任何结果的关系，换取可以产生大量结果的关系。

Relationship is an investment of yourself. Invest wisely and you shall succeed. Invest poorly and you shall lose. Too many poor investments will leave you deeply impoverished. Your Inner Teachers seek to teach you to invest wisely so that you may receive the rewards of your investment. It is far better to learn the lessons of relationship within the context of success than within the context of failure. Some failure is necessary to provide contrast in your learning, but success is the better teacher. Unless you are aware of the rewards of true engagement, you will continue to seek other things. You who have experienced failure already need to have the experience of success. This will provide the necessary contrast which will help you to choose wisely. This will enable you to establish your true priorities and emphasis. This will teach you to value yourself and to recognize the value of your investment in life.

关系是对自己的一种投资。明智地投资，你就会成功。投资不当，你就会失去。太多糟糕的投资将使你深深地陷入贫困。你的内在老师试图教你明智地投资，这样你就能得到投资的回报。在成功的背景下学习关系的课程，要比在失败的背景下学习好得多。一些失败是必要的，为你的学习提供对比，但成功是更好的老师。除非你意识到真正的参与所带来的回报，否则你将继续寻求其他回报。经历过失败的你，已经需要有成功的经历。这将提供必要的对比，这将帮助你明智地选择。这将使你能够确立你真正的优先事项和重点。这将教会你珍惜你自己，认识到你在生命中投资的价值。

Saying that monogamy is necessary is to confirm what you know already within your heart, within your nature and within your design. Think otherwise and you shall violate yourself and others. Your justifications for doing this cannot conceal the fact that you are investing poorly and that you are robbing others of the opportunity for true relationship.

说一夫一妻制是必要的，是为了证实你在内心深处、在你的自然性和设计中已经知道的内识。如果不这样想，你就会侵犯自己和他人。你这样做的理由不能掩盖这样一个事实：你的投资很差，你正在剥夺他人建立真正关系的机会。

How much should you share with your partner?
你应该与你的伴侣分享多少？

Ultimately, you will want to share everything, but you must find constructive ways of doing this. It is not for other people to pay the price of your freedom. Freedom is a gift and the freedom of self-expression is a great gift. If you have been in the world for any length of time, you will realize how precious this gift is. Do not abuse your right and do not use your self-expression to hurt others. Sometimes this is unavoidable, for the truth may stimulate pain in another. However, it is still your motive that must be examined. You can respect another as much as yourself and yet not use another’s fear of pain as an excuse not to express yourself. Here you must find a balance within the boundaries of your current relationship. There is no exact formula here, only guidelines.

最终，你会想要分享一切，但你必须找到建设性的方法。不是让他人来为你的自由付出代价。自由是一份礼物，自我表达的自由是一份伟大的礼物。如果你在这个世界上呆的时间长了，你就会意识到这份礼物是多么珍贵。不要滥用你的权利，不要用你的自我表达来伤害他人。有时这是不可避免的，因为真理可能会刺激他人的痛苦。然而，必须审查的仍然是你的动机。你可以像尊重自己一样尊重他人，但也不能把他人对痛苦的恐惧作为不表达自己的借口。在这里，你必须在你当前关系的范围内找到一个平衡。这里没有确切的公式，只有准则。

It is very important that you share your intention to realize your spiritual purpose and worldly accomplishment at the outset in a relationship, for this will give you an idea if your prospective partner is going in the same direction as you are. This is necessary to discern in the beginning. It is very costly to find out later that you never were going in the same direction.

在一段关系的开始阶段，分享你要实现精神上的目的和世俗成就的意图是非常重要的，因为这将让你了解你的潜在伴侣是否与你走在同一方向。这在一开始就有必要加以辨别。如果后来发现你们从来没有朝同一个方向发展，那时代价将是非常巨大的。

Therefore, share your goals and values regarding your spiritual purpose and worldly accomplishment as fully as possible as you proceed together. Learn to express your conflicts, your resentments and your angers constructively within your relationship. If you are not expressing them, they will find other more destructive ways of expression. You are always expressing yourself; you cannot prevent yourself from expressing yourself. It is how you are expressing yourself that is important. This requires consideration of others and an examination of what you want to achieve in your self-expression. It is not enough merely to say, “It is my right to express myself. I will express myself, no matter what.” This is irresponsible. This is mindless. This is not thinking within the context of being in a relationship.

因此，在你们一起工作时，尽可能充分地分享你们关于精神上的目的和世俗成就的目标和价值观。学会在你们的关系中建设性地表达你的冲突、你的怨恨和你的愤怒。如果你不表达它们，它们会找到其他更具破坏性的表达方式。你总是在表达自己；你不能阻止自己表达自己。重要的是你如何表达自己。这需要考虑到他人，并审视你在自我表达中想要达到的目的。仅仅说”表达自己是我的权利”是不够的。我将表达自己，无论如何”。这是不负责任的。这是无意识的。这不是在关系中的思考。

Be honest and honestly examine how you may best express yourself in any given situation. Upsetting people may be unavoidable in certain situations. However, you will find as you learn to constructively express yourself, particularly regarding those feelings and thoughts which may be painful to another, that you can avoid unnecessary conflict in most cases. Sometimes you cannot avoid it. Yet it is still your intention for peace, truth and spiritual growth that will determine a positive result overall. Occasionally, the process is difficult. It is rocky and it goes up and down. Yet if your motive is for greater intimacy in a relationship and to nurture the other person’s spiritual growth as well as a greater experience of wholeness within yourself, your motive will produce a positive result.

诚实地审视你在任何特定情况下如何最好地表达自己。在某些情况下，让人生气可能是不可避免的。然而，你会发现，当你学会建设性地表达你自己，特别是关于那些可能对他人造成痛苦的感觉和想法，你可以在大多数情况下避免不必要的冲突。有时你无法避免它。然而，仍然是你对和平、真理和精神上成长的意图，将决定整体的积极结果。偶尔，这个过程是困难的。它是坎坷的，也是起伏不定的。然而，如果你的动机是为了在关系中获得更大的亲密感，培养对方精神上的成长，以及在自己的内心获得更大的完整经历，你的动机就会产生一个积极的结果。

This issue of constructive self-expression is very important because as you proceed in a relationship, you will want to continue to express your desire for spiritual purpose and worldly accomplishment, as well as your desire for union with your partner. If these expressions generate ongoing conflict, if you are not expressing them constructively or if you are neglecting an aspect of your partner which prevents this person from hearing you, there is a problem in your relationship that needs to be addressed. Perhaps there is a great misunderstanding that prevails between you, or perhaps there is a missing component in the relationship.

这个建设性的自我表达问题非常重要，因为当你在一段关系中进行时，你会想继续表达你对精神目的和世俗成就的渴望，以及你对与伴侣结合的渴望。如果这些表达产生了持续的冲突，如果你没有建设性地表达它们，或者如果你忽视了你伴侣的某一方面，使这个人听不到你的声音，那么你们的关系中就有一个需要解决的问题。也许你们之间普遍存在着巨大的误解，也可能关系中缺少一个组成部分。

Your relationship will be tested as it proceeds. Yet you do not need to test it yourself. Life will test it. This is why you must never use a relationship for your own personal growth. If you do this, you will attempt to experiment with your relationship, and this is very selfish. Life will test everything that needs to be tested. Life will purify everything that needs to be purified. Life will show you everything that needs to be done. Life will show you everything that needs to be avoided.

你们的关系在发展过程中会受到考验。然而，你不需要自己去测试它。生活会考验它。这就是为什么你决不能利用一段关系来实现你个人的成长。如果你这样做，你将试图用你的关系进行试验，而这是非常自私的。生活会检验一切需要检验的关系。生活会净化一切需要净化的关系。生活会向你展示一切需要做的事情。生活会让你看到一切需要避免的事情。

Therefore, do not play God in your relationship. Be a conscious participant. Become more aware of your motives, your actions, your speech and your behavior. As you do this, you will realize that you will need to spend more time listening and less time speaking. You will need to learn to hear others and to understand others. Then your self-expression will become ever more appropriate to the circumstances you are in, ever more beneficial and ever more enlightening, both for you and for those who will hear you.

因此，不要在你们的关系中扮演上帝。做一个有意识的参与者。更多地察觉到你的动机、你的行动、你的言语和你的行为。当你这样做时，你会意识到你将需要花更多的时间去倾听，减少说话的时间。你将需要学会倾听他人，理解他人。然后，你的自我表达将变得越来越适合你所处的环境，越来越有益，越来越有启发性，无论是对你还是对那些将听到你的人。

If you use self-expression as a form of personal domination, you will merely be attempting to take revenge on your current relationship for everything you think has happened in the past. It is not your partner’s responsibility to bear the brunt of your past pain. This is the work for a professional who can help you resolve past difficulties, if they cannot be resolved within the context of your current relationship. You would not go to your partner if you had a serious physical ailment. Therefore, do not go to your partner if you have a severe emotional problem that is the result of conflict in the past. Your partner is not your therapist. Do not use your relationship for therapy. Use your relationship for self-expression, for the development of honesty and for contribution. It is your responsibility to become whole within yourself. Your partner will help you, life will help you and other people will be called upon to help you as well.

如果你把自我表达作为一种个人支配的形式，你将只是试图为你认为过去发生的一切对你目前的关系进行报复。你的伴侣没有责任去承担你过去的痛苦。这是专业人士的工作，他们可以帮助你解决过去的困难，如果这些困难无法在你们当前的关系中得到解决的话。如果你有严重的身体疾病，你不会去找你的伴侣。因此，如果你有一个严重的情绪问题，是过去冲突的结果，不要去找你的伴侣。你的伴侣不是你的治疗师。不要利用你们的关系进行治疗。利用你们的关系进行自我表达，发展诚实和贡献。你有责任使自己的内心变得完整。你的伴侣会帮助你，生活会帮助你，其他人也会被要求来帮助你。

Each person in a primary relationship has an inherent responsibility. Their responsibility is to cultivate their honesty, their experience of Knowledge, their ability to engage in constructive self-expression, their ability to give and their ability to receive. Every person must accept this as their responsibility. It is not your partner’s responsibility to make sure you are able to do these things. After all, in relationship you must cultivate yourself to participate. If you cease cultivating yourself, your ability to participate will erode and will begin to fade. If the other person is growing and you are not, they will out-distance you and you will lose your compatibility. This in no way should be a race between the two of you. Instead, it is a matter of responsibility. If you can move forward together, side by side, then you have established a compatibility in learning together that will be immensely beneficial for both of you and for everyone with whom you come in contact. Here you will become the seed of community and a source of nourishment for others.

主要关系中的每个人都有内在的责任。他们的责任是培养他们的诚实，他们对内识的经验，他们参与建设性的自我表达的能力，他们给予的能力和他们接收的能力。每个人都必须接受这是他们的责任。确保你能够做这些事情不是你伴侣的责任。毕竟，在关系中，你必须培养自己来参与。如果你停止培养自己，你的参与能力将被侵蚀，并开始消退。如果对方在成长，而你没有，他们将超越你，你将失去你们的兼容性。这绝不应该是你们两个人之间的竞赛。相反，它是一个责任问题。如果你们能一起前进，并肩作战，那么你们就在一起学习中建立了兼容性，这将对你们两个人和与你们接触的每个人都有极大的好处。在这里，你们将成为社区的种子，成为他人的营养来源。

This compatibility in learning must be attended to as you proceed. It must be nurtured and supported. At times other people will need to help you, for between the two of you, you cannot see everything. Here you do not seek to replace your partner, but instead seek support from others in allowing your relationship to become ever richer, deeper, more fulfilling and ever more productive for the world.

这种学习上的相容性必须在你们进行时得到关注。它必须得到培养和支持。有时，其他人将需要帮助你，因为在你们两个人之间，你不可能看到一切。在这里，你并不寻求取代你的伴侣，而是寻求他人的支持，让你们的关系变得更加丰富、更加深入、更加充实，对世界的贡献也更大。

You will always notice the happiest couples are those who are giving something to the world. Yet bear in mind that they are doing this without attempting to replace their union with their external responsibilities. For if these responsibilities are genuine, they are a result of the couple’s union together. Their first responsibility is to support their union and their second responsibility is their contribution to the world. It is not the other way around. It will be a great challenge for these relationships to maintain their union in the face of worldly demands. In some ways, this can be more difficult than the contribution of their gifts. Here people must be vulnerable to each other, they must have their honesty challenged, they must grow and they must refine themselves. Though the outside world will require this as well, the intimacy between two minds establishes a condition for growth that is unparalleled in the world.

你总是会注意到，最幸福的夫妻是那些为世界给予的人。然而，请记住，他们在这样做的时候并没有试图用他们的外部责任来取代他们的结合。因为如果这些责任是真实的，它们是夫妻结合的结果。他们的第一个责任是支持他们的结合，他们的第二个责任是他们对世界的贡献。这并不是相反的。对于这些关系来说，在面对世俗要求时维持他们的结合将是一个巨大的挑战。在某些方面，这可能比他们礼物的贡献更困难。在这里，人们必须彼此脆弱，他们必须让自己的诚实受到挑战，他们必须成长，他们必须完善自己。尽管外部世界也会要求这样做，但两个心灵之间的亲密关系为成长建立了一个世界上无可比拟的条件。

What do you do when you do not agree about money?
当你们在钱的问题上意见不一致时，你们该怎么办呢？

Here the problem is not with money; it is with values. It is a compatibility problem. Money is a means of expressing things; it is also a means for getting things done. Here you will need to look at what you want to express and what you want to achieve. Money is the means; it is not the problem. The problem is not being in alignment with what you want to express and with what you want to accomplish. Here money can express confusion as well as the truth of your internal design. You must discern which is which within the context of your relationship and allow yourself to receive feedback from others to help you.

这里的问题不是钱的问题；是价值观的问题。这是一个兼容性问题。金钱是表达关系的一种方式；它也是完成关系的一种方法。在这里，你将需要看看你想表达什么，你想实现什么。金钱是方式；它不是问题所在。问题是没有与你想表达的关系和你想实现的关系保持一致。在这里，金钱可以表达混乱，也可以表达你内部设计的真理。你必须在你们的关系中分辨出哪个是哪个，并允许自己接受别人的反馈来帮助你。

If there are serious disagreements about money, and if these disagreements continue, it is unlikely that your relationship will be able to survive. Sometimes people work out arrangements, but if these arrangements are too compromising to the basic nature of the people involved, the arrangements will not stand, and the conflicts will emerge again and again.

如果在钱的问题上有严重的分歧，而且这些分歧持续下去，你们的关系就不可能生存下去。有时人们会做出一些安排，但如果这些安排对有关人员的基本自然性过于妥协，那么这些安排就不会成立，冲突就会一次又一次出现。

That is why it is wise at the outset to look at how your prospective partner earns money, why they value money and how they spend money. What do they spend money for? What are their values? What is their emphasis? What is their purpose with money? These are all very practical questions. Anyone entering a business relationship would likely ask such questions. Yet asking such questions is even more important within the context of marriage. Marriage in some ways is like a business. It involves the maintenance of a household, of a family and of a primary relationship. This requires that you deal with money all the time. That is why money is important here.

这就是为什么一开始就看你的潜在伴侣是如何挣钱的，他们为什么看重钱，以及他们如何花钱，这是明智的。他们花钱的目的是什么？他们的价值观是什么？他们的重点是什么？他们用钱的目的是什么？这些都是非常实际的问题。任何进入商业关系的人都可能会问这些问题。然而，在婚姻的背景下，问这样的问题甚至更重要。婚姻在某些方面就像一个企业。它涉及到一个家庭、一个家族和一个主要关系的维护。这要求你一直与钱打交道。这就是为什么钱在这里很重要。

Problems with money are problems in self-expression and in honesty. Like sexuality, money can be used to express truth or illusion. It can be used to express a desire for harmony or an intention to uproot or destroy an existing relationship. People often blame money, but money is not at fault. It is what people do with money and why they do it that are the problem.

钱的问题是自我表达和诚实方面的问题。像性行为一样，金钱可以用来表达真理或幻想。它可以用来表达对和谐的渴望，也可以用来表达拔除或破坏现有关系的意图。人们经常指责金钱，但金钱并没有错。问题在于人们用钱做什么，以及他们为什么这么做。

Sexuality and money then are arenas in which deeper, more inherent problems arise and express themselves. Compatibility regarding money is very important for the survival of any intimate relationship. A little contrast between two people is important because this stimulates growth. However, if the differences are too great, then those involved will feel infringed upon and there will be continual friction.

因此，性和金钱是更深层次、更内在的问题产生和表现的舞台。在金钱方面的兼容性对于任何亲密关系的生存是非常重要的。两个人之间有一点对比是很重要的，因为这可以刺激成长。然而，如果差异太大，那么参与其中的人就会感到被侵犯，并且会有持续的摩擦。

Therefore, if serious problems arise regarding money, you must examine your motives with money, your values with money, your purpose with money and what you are attempting to express with money. Is your use of money expressing a desire to build your union or is it expressing a desire to escape from or to avoid union? Is it expressing a desire to share something or a desire to hide something?

因此，如果在金钱方面出现了严重的问题，你必须检查你用钱的动机，你用钱的价值观，你用钱的目的，以及你试图用钱表达什么。你对金钱的使用是在表达建立你的结合的愿望，还是在表达逃避或避免结合的愿望？它是在表达一种分享内识的愿望，还是在表达一种隐藏内识的愿望？

If people recognized these issues at the outset in their relationships, there would be far fewer divorces in the world. Often divorce is when you have just spent a great part of your life finding out something you could have known at the outset. This is why Knowledge is so important because Knowledge will help you see these things in the beginning of the relationship. Knowledge will save you time. Saving time means the elimination of suffering, which is a very important emphasis here.

如果人们在他们的关系中一开始就认识到这些问题，世界上的离婚会少得多。通常情况下，离婚是当你刚刚花了很大一部分时间去发现一些你在一开始就可以知道的情况。这就是为什么内识如此重要的原因，因为内识将帮助你在关系的开始阶段看到这些情况。内识将为你节省时间。节省时间意味着消除痛苦，它是这里非常重要的一个重点。

If you feel an emerging sense of purpose in your life, then increasingly you will not want to invest yourself poorly in any arena of your life. You will value yourself and your investment of time. You will value your relationships, and you will want them to be successful.

如果你在你的生活中感受到一种新出现的目的感，那么你就会越来越不想在你生活的任何领域里把自己投资得很差。你会珍惜自己和你的时间投资。你会重视你的关系，你会希望它们成功。

If serious problems arise regarding money, you may want to seek professional help, but first consider the things that are being recommended here. Money is something to which people give great meaning, and so it tends to express their values. Money is something people believe is a source of power; therefore, money expresses people’s convictions about power and their intentions with power. Money management is a practical matter, but that is usually not the source of your problem. The problem is with values, honesty and commitment.

如果在金钱方面出现严重问题，你可能需要寻求专业帮助，但首先要考虑这里建议的事情。金钱是人们赋予其重大意义的东西，因此它往往会表达人们的价值观。人们认为金钱是权力的源泉，因此金钱表达了人们对权力的信念以及他们对权力的意图。金钱管理是一个实际问题，但这通常不是问题的根源。问题出在价值观、诚实和承诺上。

Confusion regarding money represents confusion about your purpose and direction in life. Money is a practical substance to be used for practical purposes. It is not mystical or mysterious. It is not God-like. It is simply a medium of exchange. Its use or misuse is determined by the state of mind of those who are using it.

关于金钱的困惑代表了对你的生命目的和方向的困惑。金钱是一种实用的物质，可以用于实际目的。它不深奥，也不神秘。它不像上帝。它只是一种交换的媒介。它的使用或误用是由使用它的人的心智状态决定的。

God wants you to use money to get things done in the world. God wants you to use everything to get things done in the world. Value things that are important, things that keep Knowledge alive in the world and things that build meaningful relationships. Successful societies are built upon meaningful relationships. The world that you experience is in harmony to the extent that it is built on meaningful relationships, for everything represents relationship. If you want to make a contribution to the world, you must first establish meaningful relationships as your foundation. Anything you contribute on this foundation will be based upon what you learn within the context of these relationships.

上帝希望你用钱来完成世界上的工作。上帝希望你善用一切来完成世界上的工作。珍惜那些重要的关系，那些让内识在这个世界上保持活力的关系，以及那些建立有意义关系的工作。成功的社会是建立在有意义的关系之上。你所经历的世界是和谐的，因为它建立在有意义的关系之上，因为万事万物都代表着关系。如果你想为世界做出贡献，你必须首先建立有意义的关系作为你的基础。在此基础上，你所做的任何贡献都将基于你在这些关系中所学到的东西。

The world does not need ideas as much as it needs committed relationships. For even the greatest idea, the greatest thought, can only be actualized on the foundation of committed relationships. That is why relationships have such great emphasis, not only for your own advancement as a person and as a student of Knowledge, but for the well-being of the world and everything within it.

世界不需要想法，而是需要坚定的关系。因为即使是最伟大的想法，最伟大的感想，也只能在承诺关系的基础上实现。这就是为什么关系有如此大的重要性，不仅是为了你自己作为一个人和作为一个内识学生的进步，也是为了世界和世界上一切生命的福祉。

Lastly, do not make money “unspiritual” because it is used by others for destructive purposes. Do not make sexuality unspiritual because it is used by others for destructive purposes. With Knowledge everything is given new purpose, new meaning and appropriate self-expression. That is why Knowledge is the guiding power in your life. That is why Knowledge is God in your life. That is why your ability to discern Knowledge, to follow Knowledge and to accept Knowledge through each step in life is the very essence of success and spiritual advancement.

最后，不要因为金钱被他人用于破坏性目的而使其成为”非精神上的”。不要因为性行为被他人用于破坏性目的而使它变得非精神上的。有了内识，一切都被赋予新的目的、新的意义和适当的自我表达。这就是为什么内识是你生命中的指导力量。这就是为什么内识是你生命中的上帝。这就是为什么你在生命的每一步中辨别内识、遵循内识和接受内识的能力是成功和精神上进步的实质。

How do you promote spiritual growth in a relationship?
你如何在一段关系中促进精神上的成长？

You promote spiritual growth by becoming a practitioner yourself. This involves spiritual practice and the application of what you are learning from your spiritual practice. Your greatest gift is what you demonstrate guided by Knowledge. Such a demonstration will spark inspiration in others. Far greater than your ideas is your demonstration. However, this is only true if you are consistent in your spiritual practice.

你通过自己成为一个实践者来促进精神上的成长。这涉及到精神上的练习和应用你从精神上的实践中所学到的能力。你最大的礼物是你在内识指导下的示范。这样的示范会激发他人的灵感。你的示范远比你的想法更大。然而，只有当你在精神上的实践中保持一致时，这才是真实的。

Share your spiritual practice in your primary relationship. Do not require that your partner do what you do, yet extend the invitation. If the invitation is declined, then simply participate in your practice and leave the invitation open. People come to spiritual practice at their own time in their own way. If you are discerning your relationship correctly, and if you are being honest, you will be able to see if your partner can gain access to spiritual growth through spiritual practice. This is very important because your primary relationship is the center of your experience of community. It is important that you can share such things with each other even if the two of you do not engage in precisely the same spiritual practice. Yet your engagement together must nourish and support both of you. That is why spiritual practice is so important for your relationship.

在你的主要关系中分享你精神上的实践。不要要求你的伴侣做你所做的，但要发出邀请。如果邀请被拒绝，那么只需参与你的练习，并留下邀请。人们在自己的时间以自己的方式来进行精神上的练习。如果你对你的关系辨别正确，如果你是诚实的，你将能够看到你的伴侣是否能够通过精神上的练习获得精神上的成长。这一点非常重要，因为你的主要关系是你的社区经历的中心。重要的是，即使你们两个人没有从事完全相同的精神上的实践，你们也能与对方分享这种精神练习。然而，你们的共同参与必须滋养和支持你们两个人。这就是为什么精神上的实践对你们的关系如此重要。

When you grow together, you grow closer together. If you cannot grow together, you will tend to grow apart. This can be understood within the context of what is actually occurring in your relationship. If you are demonstrating what you are learning as a student of Knowledge, you will stimulate Knowledge in your partner. If your relationship lacks this compatibility, this will become evident and it will become more evident as you proceed. Yet if your relationship holds the promise of greater compatibility and spiritual growth, your demonstration will stimulate other people and prepare them as well.

当你们一起成长时，你们就会更加亲密。如果你们不能一起成长，你们就会趋向于分开。这可以在你们关系中实际发生的情况中得到理解。如果你作为内识的学生展示你正在学习的课程，你会在你的伴侣身上激发出内识。如果你们的关系缺乏这种兼容性，这将变得很明显，而且随着你的进展会变得更加明显。然而，如果你们的关系有希望获得更大的兼容性和精神上的成长，你们的示范将刺激其他人，使他们也做好准备。

Regarding spiritual practice, your partner may be skeptical and want to see results. You must demonstrate the results and this can only be done over time. This must be done naturally and honestly. However, if over time you discover that your relationship does not have this deeper compatibility, be prepared that at a certain juncture you each may have to go your separate ways. Sometimes this is not necessary, but often it is. If it is not necessary, then your partner will have to support your practice even if they do not engage in it themselves. This would have to be a tacit understanding. For how can you be together if you disagree about God? How can you be together if you are in disagreement about the very foundation of your sense of purpose in life? The more you move forward in your spiritual advancement and progress as a student of Knowledge, the greater will be the discrepancy between you if this compatibility is not present.

关于精神上的实践，你的伴侣可能会持怀疑态度，希望看到结果。你必须展示结果，这只能随着时间的推移而完成。这必须自然和诚实地进行。然而，如果随着时间的推移，你发现你们的关系没有这种更深的兼容性，请做好准备，在某一时刻，你们可能不得不分道扬镳。有时这不是必要的，但往往是必要的。如果没有必要，那么你的伴侣将不得不支持你的实践，即使他们自己不从事这项工作。这将必须是一种默契。因为如果你们对上帝的看法不一致，你们怎么能在一起？如果你们对生命目的感的基础有分歧，你们怎么能在一起？作为内识的学生，你在精神上的进步和进展越大，如果这种兼容性不存在，你们之间的差异就越大。

You cannot create compatibility. The elements are either there or they are not there. At the outset, if you sense that the elements are there, then proceed and share yourself and your spiritual practice as completely as possible. You will demonstrate this compatibility with your partner through your involvement together over time. However, if you find your compatibility is limited or not there, then you will increasingly feel the need to seek partnership outside of your relationship. You will eventually find that your relationship will be holding you back and you will find yourself condemning your partner, either overtly or within your inner feelings. That is why there is such a great emphasis here on recognizing compatibility at the outset: physical, mental and spiritual compatibility.

你不能创造兼容性。这些因素要么在那里，要么不在那里。在一开始，如果你感觉到这些因素是存在的，那么就继续下去，尽可能完整地分享你自己的练习和你精神上 的实践。你将通过你们在一起的时间来证明与你的伴侣的这种兼容性。然而，如果你发现你们的兼容性有限或不存在，那么你会越来越感到需要在你们的关系之外寻求伙伴关系。你最终会发现，你们的关系会阻碍你的发展，你会发现自己在谴责你的伴侣，无论是公开的还是内心的感受。这就是为什么这里非常强调在一开始就认识到兼容性：身体、心理和精神上的兼容性。

You must be at a similar place in your journey up the mountain. That is why there are not many relationships that actually have this spiritual resonance. Far more marriages are built upon a physical and mental association. Yet a marriage between two people that is built upon a spiritual foundation, a holy marriage, is far more rare. Do not think that everyone can have this in the form of a marriage to one person. Do not think you can create it with someone you find attractive. Many people will experience this spiritual compatibility within the context of a spiritual community. Many people will experience this in their relationship with a genuine spiritual teacher. It is rare that this greater spiritual compatibility will necessarily be evident in a traditional marriage between two people. Yet that does not mean that you who are a student of Knowledge cannot find this deeper compatibility in relationship. You are meant to find this in relationship, yet you must not insist that it exist within a marriage.

你们在上山的过程中必须处于相似的位置。这就是为什么没有多少关系真正具有这种精神上的共鸣。更多的婚姻是建立在身体和心理的关联上。然而，两个人之间建立在精神基础上的婚姻，即圣洁的婚姻，则要稀少得多。不要认为每个人都能以与一个人结婚的形式拥有这个。不要认为你可以和你觉得有吸引力的人创造它。许多人将在一个精神社区的背景下经历这种精神上的相容性。许多人将在与真正的精神导师的关系中经历到这一点。在两个人的传统婚姻中，这种更大的精神上的相容性一定会很明显，这一点很罕见。然而，这并不意味着作为内识的学生的你不能在关系中找到这种更深的兼容性。你注定要在关系中找到这一点，但你不能坚持它存在于婚姻中。

A great ally will come to you as your call for Knowledge is sent out into the world. A teacher will be sent, partners in learning will be sent and partners in practice will be sent. And with these people you can experience a great union. For, as it has been said, the greatest union is not necessarily to be found within a marriage to one person. Most people want their marriage to be the ultimate relationship, but often the ultimate relationship occurs outside of marriage. Marriage is being addressed here primarily because this is the form of relationship where most people are focused and where their interest lies. Yet this is not the only context in which primary relationships built on Knowledge can be experienced and expressed.

当你对内识的呼唤被送出世界时，一个伟大的盟友将来到你身边。一位老师会被派来，学习的伙伴会被派来，实践的伙伴会被派来。而与这些人在一起，你可以经历到一种伟大的结合。因为，正如人们所说，最伟大的结合不一定在与一个人的婚姻中找到。大多数人希望他们的婚姻是最终的关系，但最终的关系往往发生在婚姻之外。这里讨论婚姻主要是因为这是大多数人关注的关系形式，也是他们的兴趣所在。然而，这并不是建立在内识基础上的主要关系可以被经历和表达的唯一背景。

The need for compatibility and the requirement for Knowledge and honesty exist in every relationship. If you are being truly honest with one another in your primary relationship, spiritual advancement will occur. Here spiritual advancement is not simply having lofty experiences. That is not spiritual advancement. Spiritual advancement means that there is an inner opening occurring within you and a greater sense of purpose, commitment and service to life. It is an inexplicable emergence within a person that slowly changes their entire frame of reference and ground of being. This is spiritual growth.

对兼容性的需求以及对内识和诚实的要求存在于每个关系中。如果你们在主要关系中对彼此真正诚实，就会出现精神上的进步。这里精神上的进步不是简单地拥有崇高的经历。那不是精神上的提升。精神上的提升意味着你的内心发生了开放，对生命的目的、承诺和服务有了更大的意识。这是一个人内心莫名其妙的出现，慢慢改变了他们的整个参考框架和存在基础。这就是精神上的成长。

Spiritual growth is not going off into the clouds with angels. Occasionally in life you may have an experience like this to uplift you, but this is not spiritual growth. Here again it is necessary to make the distinction between romance and relationship. Do you want to have a romance with God, or do you want to have a relationship with God? Do you want to go off and have parties with God, or do you want to get something done in the world with God? Do you want to escape the vicissitudes of life with God, or do you want to bring God into the vicissitudes of life? This is the difference between romance and relationship. Go to God and God will take you into the world. There is no escape in God. You will find comfort, love and refuge, but not escape.

精神上的成长不是和天使一起进入云端。在生命中，你可能偶尔会有这样的经历来振奋你，但这不是精神上的成长。这里有必要再次区分浪漫和关系。你是想与上帝谈恋爱，还是想与上帝建立关系？你想和上帝一起去参加聚会，还是想和上帝一起在世界范围内做些事情？你是想与上帝一起逃避生活的沧桑，还是想把上帝带入生活的沧桑？这就是浪漫和关系之间的区别。去找上帝，上帝会带你进入世界。在上帝那里是无法逃避的。你会找到安慰、爱和庇护，但不是逃避。

You did not come into the world to escape the world. You came into the world to work in the world. You came into the world to bring healing to the world. You came into the world to learn to utilize your worldly body, your worldly mind and your worldly expression and contribution. You came into the world to contribute your gifts, which you have brought from God. You do not want to go back to God with your gifts not given and the presence of Knowledge undiscovered. You came into the world to discover this presence. This presence is the greatest gift and from this gift emanate specific things, whether they be food and shelter for the poor or inspiration and humility for the rich. This can be a demonstration of truth for everyone you come in contact with. These gifts all emanate from the presence of Knowledge within you.

你来到这个世界不是为了逃避这个世界。你来到这个世界是为了在这个世界上工作。你来到这个世界是为了给这个世界带来医治。你来到这个世界是为了学习善用你世俗的身体、世俗的心灵和世俗的表达和贡献。你来到这个世界是为了贡献你的礼物，这些礼物是你从上帝那里带来的。你不想带着你的礼物未被给予，内识的存在未被发现而回到上帝身边。你来到这个世界是为了发现这种存在。这种存在是最大的礼物，从这种礼物中发出特定的礼物，无论是穷人的食物和住所，还是富人的灵感和谦逊。这可以为你接触到的每个人展示真理。这些礼物都是从你体内的内识的存在发出的。

Commit yourself to your spiritual growth. Commit yourself to being a student of Knowledge. Commit yourself to learning—learning to follow, to receive, to give and eventually to lead, in that order. If both of you in relationship share this commitment, it will proceed with you and the two of you together will become a source of meaning for others. As it has been said, there are no great individuals; there are only great relationships. Build a great relationship and you will experience greatness in your life.

承诺自己精神上的成长。承诺自己成为内识的学生。承诺自己要学习——学习跟随、接收、给予并最终领导，按这个顺序。如果你们两个人在关系中都有这样的承诺，它将与你们一起进行，你们两个人一起将成为其他人的意义之源。正如人们所说，没有伟大的个人；只有伟大的关系。建立一个伟大的关系，你将在你的生命中经历到伟大。

Many problems arise in relationship—inner conflict, irresolution from the past, problems in judgment, problems in self-expression, problems in intimacy, problems in managing money and problems taking care of physical things. Problems arise. Though the greater purpose of your relationship is contribution, to develop the ability to make your contribution, you must bring your mind into a unified and focused state—your self-expression, your priorities, your values—everything. Much of this is achieved through problem-solving in specific matters and issues.

许多问题出现在关系中，内在的冲突，过去的不解，判断的问题，自我表达的问题，亲密关系的问题，管理金钱的问题和照顾身体的问题。问题出现了。尽管你们关系的更伟大的目的是贡献，但为了发展做出贡献的能力，你必须把你的心灵带入一个统一和集中的状态——你的自我表达、你的优先事项、你的价值观——一切。这大部分是通过在具体事务和问题中解决问题来实现的。

In relationship, you will mostly serve each other through demonstration. It has been emphasized that you should not become a therapist for each other because this creates a dependency that will eventually be destructive. If you need specific help in specific areas, go to those who specialize in resolving these issues and providing this service. Do not burden your relationship with the requirement of healing your past irresolution. Do not expect your partner to be able to comprehend everything that you feel, to know how to resolve everything that you present or to know how to deal with your anger, your frustration and your grief. Your partner is there to help you move forward in life. Yet it is your responsibility to prepare yourself for contribution and for relationship. It is not your partner’s responsibility to prepare you.

在关系中，你们大多会通过示范来为对方服务。有人强调，你们不应该成为对方的治疗师，因为这创造了一种依赖性，最终将是破坏性的。如果你在特定领域需要具体的帮助，就去找那些专门解决这些问题和提供这种服务的人。不要用治愈你过去的不坚定的要求来负担你的关系。不要期望你的伴侣能够理解你的一切感受，知道如何解决你提出的一切问题，或者知道如何处理你的愤怒、你的沮丧和你的悲痛。你的伴侣在那里是为了帮助你在生命中向前迈进。然而，你有责任让自己为贡献和关系做好准备。你的伴侣没有责任让你做好准备。

This is so often forgotten, particularly amongst people who are committed to spiritual growth and advancement. They unquestioningly assume that their partner is their 24-hour-a-day therapist. Then therapy begins to dominate their relationship, and they lose sight of why they came together. Some relationships seem to be all about therapy and nothing else. If a person can progress in this therapy, eventually they will not need the relationship any more and will tend to move on, leaving the other person behind in a state of great confusion and discouragement. Life will provide the opportunities for growth and you will need some assistance to help you meet these challenges. To a certain extent, your partner will help you through participation and through joint effort. Yet if greater assistance is needed to resolve your own internal problems, seek the counsel of others to help you.

这一点经常被遗忘，特别是在那些致力于精神上成长和进步的人中。他们毫不怀疑地认为，他们的伴侣是他们一天24小时的治疗师。然后，治疗开始主导他们的关系，而他们忽略了他们走到一起的原因。有些关系似乎只是为了治疗而不是其他。如果一个人能够在这种治疗中取得进展，最终他们将不再需要这种关系，并倾向于继续前进，把对方留在一个巨大的困惑和沮丧的状态中。生活会提供成长的机会，你会需要一些援助来帮助你迎接这些挑战。在某种程度上，你的伴侣会通过参与和共同努力来帮助你。然而，如果需要更大的帮助来解决你自己的内部问题，请寻求其他人的建议来帮助你。

The best therapist is someone who can be thoroughly objective with you, someone who has no personal investment in your success or failure. Your partner obviously has great personal investment in your success because he or she is depending upon your success and must learn to offset the possibility of your failure. That places them in a very difficult position to be an objective listener. That is why you cannot require objectivity from your partner, because they are depending upon your success.

最好的治疗师是能对你彻底客观的人，是对你的成功或失败没有个人投资的人。你的伴侣显然对你的成功有很大的个人投资，因为他或她依赖于你的成功，必须学会抵消你失败的可能性。这使他们处于一个非常困难的位置，无法成为一个客观的听众。这就是为什么你不能要求你的伴侣有客观性，因为他们依赖于你的成功。

If you are a man, your wife will depend upon your success as a provider and as a participant. How can she be neutral with you regarding your conflicts of interest? If you have children, she is depending upon you to provide for your family. She is depending upon you to be a father, a parent, a husband, and to meet all those requirements. How can you possibly expect her to be a therapist and have an objective and an impartial view of you? That is why people need outside help to overcome certain obstacles within themselves. Sometimes a great friendship outside of marriage can do this, but often a professional is needed. If you are focused on developing spiritual awareness, your program of study and your spiritual teacher will help you with these things.

如果你是一个男人，你的妻子将取决于你作为一个提供者和参与者的成功。对于你的利益冲突，她怎么可能对你保持中立？如果你有孩子，她要依靠你来养家糊口。她要依靠你成为一个父亲、父母、丈夫，并满足所有这些要求。你怎么可能指望她成为一个治疗师，对你有一个客观和公正的看法？这就是为什么人们需要外部帮助来克服自己内心的某些障碍。有时，婚姻之外的伟大友谊可以做到这一点，但往往需要一个专业人员。如果你专注于发展精神上的觉知，你的学习计划和你的精神老师会帮助你解决这些事情。

Life will provide adequate challenge for the two of you. Your circumstances and their requirements provide adequate challenge. Life will provide the environment where healing can occur. Healing finally occurs through worldly accomplishment because this expresses inner union and determination. Whatever healing transpires within you must be expressed in the world, and this expression will complete the inner process of healing. Here you demonstrate the change that you are attempting to make within yourself. Until this change is adequately demonstrated and honestly expressed, it still remains only a potential within you and has not been accomplished.

生活将为你们两个人提供足够的挑战。你们的环境和他们的要求提供了足够的挑战。生活将提供可以发生愈合的环境。愈合最终通过世俗的成就发生，因为这表达了内在的结合和决心。无论你内心发生了什么愈合，都必须在世界中表达出来，而这种表达将完成愈合的内在过程。在这里，你展示了你试图在自己内心做出的改变。在这种变化得到充分展示和诚实表达之前，它仍然只是你内心的一种潜力，还没有完成。

If you are both involved in spiritual practice, your practice will help you a great deal, but here again you will need others to help you progress because your partner cannot be your spiritual teacher. This is burdening your relationship with another role. Do not place this role on your partner. Your partner may be your wife, your husband, your great friend or your partner in a business or an important cause. Your relationship has its own challenges and requirements. It is up to you to seek outside help to prepare to meet these challenges and requirements if this is necessary. Remember it is your responsibility to gain the help and assistance that you need. That is your responsibility and no one else’s. If your partner supports your spiritual growth, it is not their responsibility to make sure that you meet that need, or even that you recognize that need.

如果你们都参与了精神上的练习，你们的练习会对你们有很大的帮助，但在这里你们又需要别人帮助你们进步，因为你的伴侣不能成为你的精神老师。这是用另一个角色给你们的关系增加负担。不要把这个角色放在你的伴侣身上。你的伴侣可能是你的妻子、你的丈夫、你的好朋友或你在生意上或重要事业上的伙伴。你们的关系有其自身的挑战和要求。如果有必要的话，应该由你来寻求外部帮助，以准备迎接这些挑战和要求。记住，获得你需要的帮助和协助是你的责任。这是你的责任，不是别人的。如果你的伴侣支持你精神上的成长，他们没有责任确保你满足这种需要，甚至没有责任确保你认识到这种需要。

Often people will assume that they are going to be the therapist or the teacher for their partner. These relationships almost never succeed and are extremely costly because the giver will eventually feel taken advantage of and the receiver will be blamed for not meeting the giver’s expectations. Yet in truth the relationship got off to the wrong start. It was based upon a misunderstanding. It was based upon an assumption that was unreal and dishonest to begin with. Nobody can win in a situation like that.

通常人们会认为他们要成为他们伴侣的治疗师或老师。这些关系几乎从来没有成功过，而且代价非常大，因为付出者最终会觉得被利用了，而接受者会因为没有满足付出者的期望而受到指责。然而，事实上，这种关系的开始是错误的。它是建立在一个误解之上的。它建立在一个假设的基础上，而这个假设一开始就是不真实和不诚实的。在这样的情况下，没有人可以赢。

Let us give you an example. In marriage, you want to be with someone who is prepared to be married. You do not want to have to prepare them to be married. You cannot do that. You do not want to rescue them from their circumstances. You want to meet someone who is capable and ready, who shares with you a desire and commitment to be married. You want someone who is compatible with your values and your behavior. This is a practical matter. It is not a romantic issue. It is not an emotional issue. It is a practical matter. Marriage is a practical matter. Its success is based on what it can do in the world. What marriage can do in the world is what will provide nourishment for its participants and for its family and community. Relationship is a practical matter.

让我们给你举个例子。你希望与一个已经准备好结婚的人在一起。你不想让他们为结婚做准备。你不能这样做。你不想从他们的环境中拯救他们。你想遇到一个有能力和准备好的人，与你一样渴望并承诺结婚的人。你想要一个与你的价值观和行为方式相匹配的人。这是一个实际问题。这不是一个浪漫的问题。它不是一个情感问题。这是一个实际的问题。婚姻是一个实际问题。它的成功是基于它能在这个世界上做什么。婚姻在世界上能做什么，就是为其参与者、家庭和社区提供滋养。关系是一个实际问题。

If you gain no other insight or piece of information from this book, remember this: If you cannot participate in the world together, you will not be able to be together. Therefore, you want to choose someone who is ready, willing and able to participate in the world with you—not someone who wants to do it but cannot do it, or someone who can do it but who does not want to do it, or someone who is not ready to do it but who some day might want to do it. This person must be ready, willing and able. If they are ambivalent and you are not, you will pay the price and they will receive the blame. This is not healthy. What little you will learn here, you will learn at a great cost. Failure can be valuable in learning, but only in small increments.

如果你从这本书中没有获得其他的见解或信息，请记住这一点。如果你们不能一起参与这个世界，你们将不能在一起。因此，你要选择一个准备好、愿意并能够与你一起参与世界的人——而不是一个想做但不能做的人，或者一个能做但不想做的人，或者一个还没有准备好但某天可能想做的人。这个人必须准备好、愿意和能够。如果他们是矛盾的，而你不是，你将付出代价，他们将受到责备。这是不健康的。你在这里学到的东西很少，但你将付出巨大的代价。失败可以是有价值的学习，但只能是小范围的。

Do not attempt to be a therapist, doctor, savior or minister for your partner. Be a partner to your partner. It is your responsibility to find the assistance and the support that you need to be able to be a partner and to participate in relationship. This is your responsibility. Your relationship’s responsibility is to the world. Your responsibility is to make sure that you can participate.

不要试图成为你伴侣的治疗师、医生、救世主或牧师。要成为你伴侣的伙伴。你有责任找到你所需要的援助和支持，以便能够成为伙伴并参与到关系中。这是你的责任。你的关系的责任是对世界的责任。你的责任是确保你能够参与。

What about infidelity?
关于不忠？

This may be a very difficult question if you are faced with it, but it is not complex. No problem is complex if it is seen accurately. Its solution may require many steps, but the problem is never complex. People want truth, but they also want untruth, so their assessment of the situation becomes complex. They want to gain an advantage without giving anything up. That makes things very complicated. There is always an exchange in life. You give up something for something else, so there is always a trade-off.

如果你面临这个问题，这可能是一个非常困难的问题，但它并不复杂。如果准确地看待它，任何问题都不复杂。它的解决可能需要很多步骤，但问题从来都不复杂。人们想要真相，但他们也想要不真相，所以他们对情况的评估变得复杂。他们想在不放弃任何东西的情况下获得优势。这使事情变得非常复杂。生活中总是有一种交换。你为了别的东西而放弃一些东西，所以总是有一个交换。

Infidelity is the result of dishonesty. Something real is not being addressed. There are several causes for infidelity, but they are all the result of dishonesty. If you have gone to the extent of becoming sexually engaged outside of your marriage, you are not being honest with your motives or your interests. You are not meeting the challenges of your marriage. You are not meeting the problems of your marriage. Perhaps it is a problem of fundamental incompatibility within your marriage. Perhaps it is a problem where you cannot meet a difficulty or challenge in the world and you are seeking escape elsewhere. Perhaps there is a problem where you cannot control your passions for others. Perhaps it is a problem where in some way you are committed to destroy that which is of value to you. Perhaps your marriage is over. Perhaps your marriage is just beginning.

不忠是不诚实的结果。真正的问题没有得到解决。造成不忠的原因有几个，但都是不诚实的结果。如果你已经到了在婚姻之外进行性行为的程度，你就没有对你的动机或兴趣诚实。你没有满足你婚姻的挑战。你没有满足你婚姻中的问题。也许这是你婚姻中根本不相容的问题。也许这是一个你无法满足世界上的困难或挑战的问题，你正在其他地方寻求逃避。也许是你无法控制自己对他人的激情。也许这是一个问题，在某种程度上你致力于摧毁对你有价值的关系。也许你的婚姻已经结束。也许你的婚姻才刚刚开始。

No matter what the cause, infidelity is an expression of dishonesty. You are not meeting the challenge of dealing with the cause of your difficulties, and you are expressing your difficulties inappropriately. By nature, you will be satisfied with one person if you are meant to be in a marriage. If you are not meant to be in a marriage, that is another matter. If you are not meant to be in a marriage, then sexuality is not appropriate for you anyway.

无论什么原因，不忠都是不诚实的表现。你没有迎接挑战，处理你困难的原因，你在不适当地表达你的困难。从本质上讲，如果你注定要在一个婚姻中，你会对一个人感到满意。如果你注定不在婚姻中，那是另一回事。如果你注定不在婚姻中，那么无论如何，性行为对你来说是不合适的。

Again it must be emphasized not to use sexuality as a form of entertainment, self-indulgence or personal exploration. Sexuality is for union and for the propagation of the race. Why would you seek an experience of union outside of a primary relationship? You would not. If you use sexuality inappropriately, you will pay dearly for it. You will hurt yourself physically and emotionally, and you will deny your spiritual purpose.

必须再次强调，不要把性行为作为一种娱乐、自我放纵或个人探索的形式。性行为是为了结合，为了种族的传播。你为什么要在主要关系之外寻求结合的经历？你不会的。如果你不适当地使用性行为，你将为之付出沉重的代价。你会在身体上和情感上伤害自己，你会否定你在精神上的目的。

There are many attractions in the world. You will need to deal with at least some of them, but remember that Knowledge within you is not swayed by the world. If you are with Knowledge, you will be able to meet these challenges and pass through them. You will be able to address those problems within yourself that would make you want to seek sexual union outside of your primary relationship.

世界上有许多吸引力。你至少需要处理其中的一些，但请记住，你内在的内识不会被世界动摇。如果你与内识同在，你将能够迎接这些挑战并通过它们。你将能够解决自己内心的那些问题，这些问题会使你想在你的主要关系之外寻求性结合。

If you are using sexuality as an escape, you are being dishonest about your life. If you are seeking sexual engagement outside of marriage, you are being dishonest about your marriage. You must face this and face it right away. There are many causes for seeking this escape, but they are all expressions of dishonesty. It may be that your marriage needs to be attended to or that your marriage is over. It may be something in the world that needs to be attended to that has nothing to do with your marriage. There is no escape from your responsibilities, and the attempt to escape them will cost you dearly. It may even cost you your life. That is why if you are honest, you will realize your need for courage. Dishonesty is weakness. Courage is strength.

如果你把性行为作为一种逃避，你对自己的生活是不诚实的。如果你在婚外寻求性结合，你对你的婚姻是不诚实的。你必须面对这个问题，并立即面对它。寻求这种逃避的原因有很多，但它们都是不诚实的表现。这可能是你的婚姻需要被关注，或者你的婚姻已经结束。可能是世界上有一些需要关注的事情，与你的婚姻无关。你的责任是无法逃避的，而试图逃避责任将使你付出巨大的代价。它甚至可能使你失去生命。这就是为什么如果你是诚实的，你会意识到你需要勇气。不诚实是弱点。勇气是力量。

As you progress in life, you will give up many things in order to gain things of greater value. Even in the natural progression of your life, you relinquish your childhood, your adolescence, your youth, your middle age and then your physical body altogether—each for a greater life, each for a greater responsibility and each for a greater understanding.

随着你在生命中的进步，你将放弃许多关系，以获得更有价值的关系。甚至在你生命的自然进程中，你会放弃你的童年、青春期、青年、中年，然后完全放弃你的物质身体——每一个都是为了更大的生命，每一个都是为了更大的责任，每一个都是为了更多的理解。

There are many attractions in the world and you will feel them. However, if they become a serious distraction or an ongoing vexation of your mind, and if you are seriously tempted to meet them outside of your marriage, then you must address what you are avoiding. You may need professional help here. Your spiritual study will help you, but you cannot use your spiritual study to escape the real problems of life. You may take refuge with your Inner Teachers and your Spiritual Family, but only so that you may be empowered to meet these challenges. It is when you stop meeting challenges that your life begins to wane and that the process of death begins for you. Whenever you stop meeting challenges, you begin to die. As long as you meet challenges, you will exert life, you will stimulate life and you will have life.

世界上有许多吸引力，你会感觉到它们。然而，如果它们成为你严重的分心或持续的烦扰，如果你被严重诱惑去满足你婚姻之外的关系，那么你必须解决你正在避免的问题。在这里你可能需要专业的帮助。你精神上的研究会帮助你，但你不能用精神上的研究来逃避生活中的实际问题。你可以向你的内在老师和你的精神家庭寻求庇护，但只是为了让你有能力迎接这些挑战。当你停止迎接挑战时，你的生命就开始减弱，你的死亡过程就开始了。每当你停止迎接挑战时，你就开始死亡。只要你迎接挑战，你就会发挥生命力，你就会刺激生命，你就会拥有生命。

If you have provided yourself a supportive network of people, and if you have begun to cultivate your role as a student of Knowledge and are committed to spiritual advancement, you will have the support that will enable you to meet these challenges without undue stress. As you meet each one, a great gift will be given to you, and the stronger you will become, the greater will be your range of relationship and the greater will be your wisdom and ability. Nothing in life is too great for you if you are with Knowledge and if you have meaningful relationships. You have brought greatness with you from your Ancient Home. Your purpose is to become strong in the world so that your gifts may express themselves through you. Therefore, meeting the challenges of relationship, the challenges of providership and the challenges of your outer life are absolutely necessary in order for you to experience your spiritual purpose and to activate your spiritual calling in the world.

如果你为自己提供了一个支持性的人际网络，如果你已经开始培养自己作为内识学生的角色，并致力于精神上的进步，你将得到支持，使你能够在没有过度压力的情况下迎接这些挑战。当你迎接每一个挑战时，一份伟大的礼物将被赋予你，你将变得越强大，你的关系范围就越大，你的智慧和能力就越强。如果你和内识在一起，如果你有有意义的关系，生活中将没有什么挑战对你来说是太大了。你已经从你的古老家园带来了伟大。你的目的是在这个世界上变得强大，以便你的礼物可以通过你表达自己。因此，迎接关系的挑战、供养人的挑战和你外在生活的挑战是绝对必要的，以便你经历你精神上的目的，激活你在世界上的精神召唤。

What about homosexuality?
关于同性恋？

Everything that has been said in this book applies to relationships of this kind. They are not that different. There is some difference, however, in that the balance between people physically will be different. It can be more difficult here to create a harmonious, stable relationship. This is not because of sexuality as much as it is because of physical alignment. It is possible to have a genuine relationship within the context of homosexuality. Yet it may be more difficult to adjust together physically, and you will have problems in dealing with society because society may not accept your relationship. This will make a successful relationship more difficult. However, success is still possible and you should still strive for success. Here you must realize that because you are in a relationship that society does not accept, there will be greater challenges.

本书中所说的一切都适用于这种关系。它们并没有什么不同。然而，有一些区别，那就是人与人之间在身体上的平衡会有所不同。在这里，建立一个和谐、稳定的关系可能更困难。这不是因为性行为，而是因为身体上的平衡。在同性恋的背景下，有可能建立一种真正的关系。然而，在身体上一起调整可能更困难，而且你们在与社会打交道时也会有问题，因为社会可能不接受你们的关系。这将使成功的关系更加困难。然而，成功仍然是可能的，你们仍然应该为成功而努力。在此，你必须认识到，因为你处于一种社会不接受的关系中，所以会有更大的挑战。

Do not attempt to use your homosexuality to define yourself. The emphasis is still the development of primary relationships. Your sexuality should be a small, essential and important part of that. If sexuality is used to experience union with one person, it is meaningful, but it should not be your identity, nor define you.

不要试图用你的同性恋身份来定义自己。重点仍然是发展主要关系。你的性行为应该是其中一个小的、基本的、重要的部分。如果性行为被用来经历与一个人的结合，那是有意义的，但它不应该成为你的身份，也不应该定义你。

The challenge of intimacy and the challenges of meeting worldly responsibilities remain. In many homosexual relationships, people are escaping responsibility by attempting to meet their need for meaning through their sexual engagements. There is a great deal of sexual addiction here, yet the possibility for true relationship remains. In heterosexual relationships, there are also many difficulties, but the possibility for meaningful relationship remains.

亲密关系的挑战和满足世俗责任的挑战仍然存在。在许多同性恋关系中，人们在逃避责任，试图通过他们的性参与来满足他们对意义的需求。这里有大量的性上瘾，然而真正关系的可能性仍然存在。在异性恋关系中，也有许多困难，但建立有意义关系的可能性仍然存在。

Monogamy is essential. Using sexuality to build the experience of union is essential. Establishing contribution in the world is essential. Developing union and harmony is essential. The requirements of life do not change because of sexual orientation.

一夫一妻制是必不可少的。善用性行为来建立结合的经历是至关重要的。在世界中建立贡献是至关重要的。发展结合与和谐是必不可少的。生命的要求并不因为性取向而改变。

Are men and women different?
男性和女性是否不同？

Yes, men and women are different. Their emphasis is different. Though these differences seem to be lessening with the integration of society, by design men and women are somewhat different. Even their spirituality will find a slightly different expression overall. Whatever could be said about this would have many exceptions of course because the range of expression of men and women is very great and there is a very great overlap. However, men and women will experience life a little differently. To some degree, they will have a different emphasis overall. This is very important. This is why women cannot expect men to be like women or men expect women to be like men. And yet they should not make the distinction so great that communication and self-expression cannot be accomplished. It depends a great deal on the interaction between the two people involved.

是的，男性和女性是否不同。他们的重点是不同的。尽管随着社会的融合，这些差异似乎在减少，但从设计上来说，男人和女人还是有些不同。甚至他们的精神性也会在总体上找到一个略微不同的表达方式。当然，无论怎么说都会有很多例外，因为男性和女性的表达范围非常大，而且有非常大的重叠性。然而，男人和女人对生活的经历会有一点不同。在某种程度上，他们总体上会有不同的重点。这一点非常重要。这就是为什么女人不能期望男人像女人，或者男人期望女人像男人。然而，他们不应该使区别如此之大，以至于无法完成沟通和自我表达。这在很大程度上取决于相关两个人之间的互动。

Do not think that the universe is masculine and feminine. Do not think that what exists in the world holds true for all levels of existence. Sexuality is not the basis of life though it is the means of propagation of life in the physical universe. It is part of your physical design to be a man or a woman. It is part of your emotional design to be a man or a woman. Here you must make some distinctions. Here you must find out what this means in terms of your own experience.

不要认为宇宙有阳性和阴性之分。不要认为世界上存在的阴阳对所有层面的存在都是正确的。性不是生命的基础，尽管它是物理宇宙中生命的传播手段。成为男人或女人是你身体设计的一部分。成为男人或女人是你情感设计的一部分。在这里，你必须做出一些区分。在这里，你必须根据自己的经验找出这意味着什么。

These distinctions are important, yet your spiritual purpose will eclipse them. When something is eclipsed, it is not denied. It is overshadowed by a greater reality and a greater presence. The mental is not obliterated because it serves the spiritual. The physical is not denied or overlooked because it serves the mental. Your mind must become educated about the physical world. Your Spirit must become educated about the mental environment. That is why you are in the world, because you must become educated about the mental and the physical realms. That is why it is ridiculous to use spirituality to escape the world. Instead, use spirituality to learn about the world. Learn to engage yourself in the world meaningfully, purposefully and constructively. Develop relationships within the world, for relationship is all there is.

这些区别很重要，然而你精神上的目的将超越它们。当身心被遮蔽时，并非被否定，而是被更大的现实和更大的存在所掩盖。身心并未被消灭，因为它为精神上的目的服务。身体不会因为它为心灵上的理解服务而被否定或忽视。你的心灵必须接受关于物理世界的教育。你的精神必须接受关于心理环境的教育。这就是你存在于世界的原因，这就是为什么你在这个世界上，因为你必须接受关于心理和身体领域的教育。这就是为什么用精神性来逃避世界是可笑的。相反，善用精神性来了解这个世界。学会有意义、有目的、有建设性地参与世界。在世界中建立起关系，因为关系就是一切。

The world is a place of learning because people are learning about relationships. All learning is about relationships—how to be in relationships, how to express yourself in relationships, how to work within relationships and how to contribute in relationships. Everything that relationships provide for the world is to stimulate deeper relationships. Relationship is the experience of self-expression and affinity.

世界是一个学习的地方，因为人们正在学习关系。所有的学习都是关于关系——如何在关系中存在，如何在关系中表达自己，如何在关系中工作，如何在关系中作出贡献。关系为世界提供的一切是为了刺激更深的关系。关系是自我表达和亲和力的经历。

Men and women are different in their vehicles of expression, not in their spirituality. There is no masculine spirituality and feminine spirituality. There is spirituality expressed through the masculine, and there is spirituality expressed through the feminine. This is a very important distinction. God is not a man or a woman. God does not have a masculine side and a feminine side.

男人和女人在他们的表达载体上是不同的，而不是在他们的精神性上。不存在男性的精神性和女性的精神性。有通过阳性表达的精神，也有通过阴性表达的精神。这是一个非常重要的区别。上帝不是一个男人或一个女人。上帝没有阳性的一面和阴性的一面。

Your Inner Teachers express themselves through either masculine or feminine forms so that they can communicate with you. If they were without gender, you would have difficulty in accepting their presence even at the level of thought. They would be perceived as a thing, an “it”. It is very hard to be in relationship with an “it”, so they take either a masculine or a feminine form to enable them to be in relationship with you. They do not engage in sexuality, so what difference does it make if they are masculine or feminine? Often they will choose either a masculine or a feminine role because that was their identity when they graduated from the world. They themselves no longer need a body, but for the sake of being able to communicate with people, it is important. They are God’s extension to you, for God is neither a man nor a woman.

你的内在老师通过男性或女性的形式来表达自己，这样他们就能与你沟通。如果他们没有性别，即使在感想的层面上，你也很难接受他们的存在。他们会被认为是一种东西，一种”它”。与”它”建立关系是非常困难的，所以它们采取男性或女性的形式，使它们能够与你建立关系。他们不参与性行为，所以他们是阳性还是阴性有什么区别？通常他们会选择男性或女性的角色，因为那是他们从世界毕业时的身份。他们自己不再需要身体，但为了能够与人沟通，身体是很重要的。他们是上帝对你的延伸，因为上帝既不是男人也不是女人。

Learn to realize the distinction between men and women. This distinction will determine your self-expression and your values to some degree. Yet do not make this an absolute distinction in the universe, and do not deny this distinction altogether. It is part of learning to be in the world. Men should not try to be like women, and women should not try to be like men. Yet men and women are meant to be together. If men are being men and women are being women, they can be together. The world will teach you how to be a man or how to be a woman. The world will teach you how to value Knowledge and show you what you truly are within the context of being a man or a woman.

学会认识到男人和女人之间的区别。这种区别将在某种程度上决定你的自我表达和你的价值观。然而不要把这作为宇宙中的绝对区别，也不要完全否认这种区别。它是学习在这个世界上的一部分。男人不应该试图像女人一样，女人也不应该试图像男人一样。然而，男人和女人是要在一起的。如果男人做男人，女人做女人，他们就可以在一起。世界会教你如何成为一个男人或如何成为一个女人。世界会教你如何重视内识，并向你展示你在作为一个男人或一个女人的背景下的真正身份。

The problem is not about being a man or a woman. The problem is that people do not know what they want to communicate, and they do not understand their vehicle for communication. If you understood what you wanted to communicate, you could understand how you could communicate. That is why Knowledge is your emphasis, because Knowledge is what you want to communicate. As Knowledge expresses itself in specific ways through you, you will learn how you can communicate most effectively. This is when being a man or a woman becomes important to your purpose. Otherwise, you will simply identify with your body and think that everything that your body appears to be is what you are. This is upside-down thinking. It is destructive. Here you will glorify yourself as a body when your body is merely a vehicle for your Being to express itself.

问题不在于成为一个男人或一个女人。问题是人们不知道他们想要沟通什么，也不理解他们的沟通工具。如果你明白你想沟通的内容，你就能明白你如何沟通。这就是为什么内识是你的重点，因为内识是你想要沟通的内容。当内识以特定的方式通过你表达出来时，你将学会如何最有效地沟通。这时，作为一个男人或一个女人对你的目的变得很重要。否则，你会简单地认同你的身体，认为你的身体所表现出来的一切就是你的本体。这是颠倒的思考。它是破坏性的。在这里，你会把自己美化成一个身体，而你的身体只是你的存在表达自己的一个载体。

People go to extremes here. They either deny the body and elevate the mind or they deny the mind and elevate the Spirit. Yet this is not correct, for body, mind and Spirit all work together. There is a hierarchy, but the hierarchy does not mean that that which serves is less important than that which is being served. The body must be taken care of. It could be damaged or destroyed, and its usefulness could be undermined. It must be used as a vehicle of expression. It must become used for communication. Your body is where you live in the world, so it should be a good place to live—healthy, happy and cared for. Just because you have a spiritual purpose does not mean that the vehicles for its expression are neglected or repudiated. It is only when the vehicle becomes more important—when the servant is without the master—that confusion of mind arises. This places value at all three levels. Then the body will be given what it needs, and it will not become an object of devotion or complete identification. The mind is the medium between the physical and the spiritual. It is very valuable and very essential. However, your mind is not God. It is valued and it is cared for in order to serve a greater purpose.

人们在这里走向了极端。他们要么否认身体而抬高心灵，要么否认心灵而抬高精神。然而这是不正确的，因为身体、心灵和精神都在一起工作。有一个等级制度，但这个等级制度并不意味着服务的层级比被服务的层级不重要。身体必须得到照顾。它可能被损坏或破坏，其作用可能被削弱。它必须被用作表达的载体。它必须成为用于交流。你的身体是你生活在这个世界上的地方，所以它应该是一个良好的生活场所——健康、快乐和被照顾。仅仅因为你有一个精神上的目的，并不意味着其表达的载体被忽视或被否定。只有当载体变得更加重要时——当服务者没有主人时——才会产生心灵混乱。这将价值置于所有三个层面。那么身体就会被赋予它所需要的需求，它就不会成为奉献或完全认同的对象。心灵是身体和精神之间的媒介。它非常有价值，也非常重要。然而，你的心灵不是上帝。它被重视，它被关心是为了服务于更伟大的目的。

After all, it is not really very significant whether you are a man or a woman. It is only important in terms of serving a greater purpose. The greater purpose is not masculine or feminine. However, it will express itself through the masculine and the feminine, and in this your being masculine or feminine is important. You are only a man or a woman for a few years in the world. Therefore, it is not that significant. It is hardly something you would want to base your life on if you knew who you really were. It is merely part of your vehicle of expression. If the vehicle becomes more important than the communication, all confusion of mind arises. Then you will believe your body to be God and your sexuality to be the meaning of the Universe. Then you will become lost and unable to expand your mind. If the body is given such great prominence, it will be misused. Too much will be expected of it. It will be used against people and not for people. The body is to be recognized but not adulated. The body is to be used but not glorified. What is adulated and glorified is the mystery of your life, which expresses itself through your physical existence here. Be reverent towards this. Be respectful of the mechanism. Be reverent for that which it serves.

毕竟，无论你是男人还是女人，都不是很重要。它只是在为一个更伟大的目的服务方面很重要。更伟大的目的不是阳性或阴性的。然而，它将通过男性和女性来表达自己，在这一点上，你是男性还是女性很重要。你在这个世界上只是做了几年的男人或女人。因此，它并不那么重要。如果你知道你真正是谁，它很难成为你生命的基础。它只是你表达的载体的一部分。如果载体变得比交流更重要，就会产生所有的心灵混乱。然后你会相信你的身体是上帝，你的性行为是宇宙的意义。然后你会变得迷失，无法扩展你的心灵。如果身体被赋予如此重要的地位，它将被误用。对它的期望太高了。它将被用来对付人，而不是为了人。身体应该被承认，但不是被崇拜。身体要被使用，但不是被荣耀。被崇拜和颂扬的是你生命的奥秘，它通过你在这里的身体存在表达它自己。对这一点要有敬畏之心。要尊重这个机制。对它所服务的上帝要有敬畏之心。

Is Knowledge different in men and women?
内识在男人和女人中不同吗？

Knowledge is not different in men and women; it only is expressed somewhat differently. Knowledge is Knowledge. Knowledge has no body, so why should it be male or female? Knowledge has no need to make babies, so why should it be male or female? Do not think there is men’s Knowledge and women’s Knowledge. There is Knowledge in men and there is Knowledge in women. Knowledge is Knowledge. That is why men and women can join. That is why men and women can be in relationship. Otherwise they could only make babies and do nothing else together.

内识在男人和女人身上没有不同；它只是表达方式有些不同。内识就是内识。内识没有身体，所以它为什么要有男性或女性？内识不需要生孩子，那么它为什么应该是男性或女性呢？不要认为有男人的内识和女人的内识。男人有内识，女人也有内识。内识就是内识。这就是为什么男人和女人可以加入。这就是为什么男人和女人可以建立关系。否则，他们在一起只能生孩子而不做其他事情。