Healing Relationships

As received by Marshall Vian Summers on September 9, 2008 in Boulder, Colorado
2008年9月9日，在科罗拉多州博尔德(Boulder, Colorado)，向上帝的信使马歇尔・维安・萨默斯(Marshall Vian Summers)揭示

Much of what holds people back in life is their irresolved feelings and judgments regarding their relationships, even relationships in the distant past. These feelings and judgments act as a kind of dam—holding people’s feelings back, arresting them in place, influencing their perception of other people and disabling them from being able to be emotionally open and accessible to their children and to other people.

生命中阻碍人们前进的很大一部分原因是他们对关系（甚至是遥远过去的关系）的未解决的感受和判断。这些感受和判断就像一道堤坝——抑制人们的感受，将他们限制在原地，影响他们对其他人的看法，使他们无法向孩子和其他人敞开心扉，无法与他们建立联系。

It is a fundamental problem in human relationships. Difficulty with your family members, parents or other very influential people in your upbringing create a kind of dam within yourself that you can carry with you throughout your life—limiting your awareness, influencing your current relationships, holding back your affection and trust for other people and harming you as if you were strapped and held in place to some event in the distant past.

这是关系中的一个根本问题。与家人、父母或其他在你成长过程中有重大影响的人相处不融洽，会在你的内心筑起一道堤坝，它会伴随你一生——限制你的觉知，影响你当前的人际关系，抑制你对其他人的感情和信任，并伤害你，就像你被束缚在遥远过去的某个事件中一样。

People try to move forward, of course. They want their life to carry on, and so they move forward, but they move forward with all of this internal restraint. And every time they meet someone who reminds them of this past relationship, they tend to become very judgmental and irrational, thinking they do not like this person, but they really do not know why that would be, for they do not even know this person. There is something in this person that reminds them of someone else with whom they have unforgiveness, with whom they have issues and contention, regret or resentment.

当然，人们总是试图向前看。他们希望生命继续下去，因此他们继续前进，但他们却带着所有这些内在的克制继续前进。每当他们遇到一个让他们想起过去关系的人时，他们就会变得非常挑剔和不理智，认为他们不喜欢这个人，但他们真的不知道为什么会这样，因为他们甚至不知道这个人。这个人身上有某种东西让他们想起另一个他们无法原谅的人，他们与那个人之间存在问题和争执、遗憾或怨恨。

People carry this restraint into their parenting of their own children—keeping them distant from their children, disabling them from empathizing with their children. And they often end up acting like their own parents, reflecting their experience of parenting from their own childhood, carrying this forward now inappropriately with their own children, often subjecting their children to anger and harshness and emotional distance.

人们将这种束缚带入了养育他们自己孩子的过程中——让他们远离他们的孩子，使他们无法与孩子产生同理心。他们最终往往会像他们的父母一样行事，反映出他们童年时期的养育经验，现在又不适当地将这种经验带给他们自己的孩子，经常让他们的孩子感到愤怒、严厉和情感上的疏远。

It is a fundamental problem in human relationships, and it is not a problem that is unknown to people. It has become the focus for much therapy and mental health.

这是人际关系的一个根本问题，也是一个众所周知的问题，已成为许多治疗和心理健康关注的焦点。

Here you must understand what forgiveness really is. Forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgiveness is not overlooking difficulties you have had with people in the past, for that becomes emotionally and intellectually dishonest. You cannot make something good that was not good without deceiving yourself and becoming dishonest regarding your feelings. Forgiveness here must be something that enables you to see another person clearly and to derive learning from that experience and from that relationship.

在这里，你必须理解宽恕的真正含义。宽恕不是遗忘。宽恕不是忽视你过去与他人之间的矛盾，因为这在情感和智力上都是不诚实的。如果你不欺骗你自己，不诚实对待你的感受，你就无法把不好的事情变成好事。在这里，宽恕必须能让你清楚地看清他人，并从这段经历和这段关系中汲取教训。

Regarding your parents or other significant people who impacted your childhood and who influenced your upbringing, it is necessary to see the circumstances in which they lived and the forces and pressures that they had to contend with. This is very important because you want to learn from these experiences and from these relationships in such a way that they give you greater clarity and compassion to understand the condition of your parents, for example, the environment in which they lived, the economic pressures they were under, their own limitations and, if you have the opportunity, to discover what their own childhood was like. Under what conditions did they grow up? What was the world that they had to experience?

对于你的父母或其他影响了你的童年和成长的重要人物，有必要看到他们的生命环境以及他们必须面对的力量和压力。这非常重要，因为你想从这些经历和关系中学习，以便它们能让你更清晰、更富有同情心地了解你父母的状况，例如，他们生命的环境、他们所承受的经济压力、他们自身的局限性，如果你有机会，还可以了解他们自己的童年是什么样的。他们是在什么样的条件下长大的？他们必须经历什么样的世界？

You may feel wounded from your relationship with them, but you must see their own condition objectively. This makes your relationship more real and more apparent. And it gives you an opportunity to understand them more compassionately and to regain respect if respect has been lost.

你可能觉得和他们的关系很受伤，但你必须客观地看待他们自己的状况。这会让你们的关系更真实、更明显。这让你有机会更富有同情心地理解他们，如果失去了尊重，就重新赢得尊重。

Your relationship with your family members is very important in shaping your perception and in determining your actions. These things all replace the natural inner guidance that God has placed within you, a deeper Mind within you called Knowledge. Knowledge lives within you, beyond the reach and the realm of your intellect. It is guiding you and providing wisdom for you every day. But if your mind is locked, if your feelings are withheld, if you are in judgment against yourself and other people, you will not hear this counsel. You will not be able to receive this wisdom and this guidance.

你与家人的关系在塑造你的感知和决定你的行动方面非常重要。这些事情都取代了上帝放置在你内心深处的自然内在指引，即你内在的一个更深层次的心灵，被称为内识。内识存在于你的内心，超越你的智力所能触及和所能及的范围。它每天都在指导你、为你提供智慧。但如果你的心灵被封锁，如果你的感受被压抑，如果你对你自己和他人妄加评判，那么你将听不到这个忠告。你将无法接收这个智慧和这个指引。

It is as if you are locked up in a prison of your own mind—unable to feel, unable to relate, unable to see clearly from your vantage point, held in place by your own judgments and feelings and inability to express yourself constructively. Even if you are living in wealth and splendor, you are like a prisoner in your own mind.

它就好像你被关在你自己的心灵监狱里——无法感受、无法联系、无法从你的角度看清一切，被你自己的判断和感觉所束缚，无法建设性地表达你自己。即使你生活在富足和辉煌之中，你也像是一个囚徒，被困在你自己的心灵中。

You feel withheld, you feel choked by your own irresolutions regarding important people in your life. You do not feel free because you are not free within yourself. You are not free to see, to know and to respond to Knowledge and to follow what you most deeply know and what you most deeply know to be true.

你感到被束缚，你因你自己对生命中重要的人的犹豫不决而感到窒息。你感觉不自由，因为你自己的内心是不自由的。你无法自由地去看、去知道和回应内识，无法自由地遵循你最深处地知道以及最深处知道是真实的内识。

People simply try to go forward, but they are handicapped. They try to establish new relationships, but they are unresolved about their former relationships. They try to replace an old relationship with a new relationship, but they end up damaging the new relationship with their own unforgiveness regarding those people in their past.

人们只是试图向前看，但他们却受到阻碍。他们试图建立新的关系，但他们对以前的关系却没有解决。他们试图用新的关系取代旧的关系，但最终他们因对过去那些人的不宽恕而破坏了新的关系。

Forgiveness is awareness and understanding, but it is also a different position in life. Fundamentally, you view the past from two different perspectives. You view the past from the perspective of your own personal feelings and associations. At this level of awareness, which is where most people reside and from which most people function, they view the past in terms of regrettable events, painful encounters, disappointing relationships, withheld love and affection, resentment and resistance. Their feelings have been hurt. They feel they were treated unjustly and unlovingly, and so they view the past from a feeling of being hurt and victimized. They are angry; they are resentful; and they have no feeling, no compassion or love for those people who even raised them and who were influential in their life.

宽恕是一种觉知和理解，但它也是生命中的一种不同立场。从根本上说，你从两个不同的角度来看待过去。你从你自己的个人感受和联想的角度看待过去。在这种觉知层面上，大多数人都处于这种觉知，他们从遗憾的事件、痛苦的遭遇、令人失望的关系、被压抑的爱和感情、怨恨和抵抗的角度来看待过去。他们的感情受到了伤害。他们觉得他们受到了不公正和无情的对待，所以他们从受伤和受害者的感觉来看待过去。他们很生气；他们很怨恨；他们对那些抚养他们、对他们的生命有影响的人没有感情、没有同情或爱。

They are trying to go forward now, but they are wounded, and they are restrained. Their feelings are choked. They are not really fit to be in new relationships. They do not have the mental health or the discernment or the skills to be in a new relationship though they have invested themselves here already.

他们现在正努力向前迈进，但他们受了伤，他们被束缚着。他们的感情被扼杀了。他们真的不适合开始一段新的关系。尽管他们已经在这里投入了他们自己，但他们的心理健康、辨别力或技能不足以开始一段新的关系。

That is why you must go back, and you must revisit your relationships. You must understand the conditions in which people existed. Perhaps they were young and immature. Or perhaps, as is often the case with parents, they were under great pressure or were traumatized themselves—unable to give you the guidance and affection you needed. What were the circumstances of their lives?

这就是为什么你必须回去，你必须重新审视你的关系。你必须理解人们当时的处境。也许他们还年轻，不成熟。或者，就像父母经常出现的情况一样，他们承受着巨大的压力，或者他们自己也受到了创伤——无法给你所需的指导和关爱。他们的生命环境是怎么样的？

If you want to know a person and see a person clearly, you must have an understanding of them as an individual and also of their circumstances. Circumstances distort people. Stress distorts people. Unrelenting stress changes people. What were the conditions under which these people lived? Perhaps you would have responded no differently yourself had you lived under similar conditions as these. This enables you to bring back your awareness of someone else’s humanity and limitations.

如果你想知道一个人，看见一个人，你就必须理解他们作为一个个体的情况，也要理解他们所处的环境。环境会扭曲人。压力会扭曲人。持续不断的压力会改变人。这些人的生活环境是怎样的？如果你生活在类似的条件下，也许你自己也不会有什么不同。这能让你重新觉知到他人的人性和局限性。

It is important to express everything you could not express at the time, even if you cannot do that to the person directly. Write out a letter. Put down your feelings. Get them out of your system. Perhaps a professional can help you to get in touch with these feelings and to express them in a constructive way, but you must get them out of your mind. They must become communications. Perhaps you will never send these letters, but they are therapeutic for you.

重要的是，即使无法直接向对方表达，也要表达出当时无法表达的一切。写一封信。写下你的感受。把它们发泄出来。也许专业人士可以帮助你接触这些感受，并以建设性的方式表达出来，但你必须把它们从心灵中释放出来。它们必须成为沟通的媒介。也许你永远不会寄出这些信，但它们对你来说是一种治疗。

You must bring your feeling back into these relationships to unlock your own emotions, to free your own mind and to be able to receive the guidance of Knowledge, which will come through your feelings, through your ideas and through your sensations. If these are all locked up in response to the past, you will not be able to know or feel anything. You must have this inner freedom. It is essential for your well-being and for the success of your future and present relationships.

你必须将你的感觉带回到这些关系中，以释放你自己的情绪，解放你自己的心灵，并能够接受内识的指导，这些指导将通过你的感受、你的想法和你的感觉而来。如果这些都被锁在对过去的回应中，你将无法知道或感受到任何事情。你必须拥有这种内在的自由。这对你的幸福以及你未来和现在的关系的成功至关重要。

Resolving relationships on a personal level is important, but there is another level of your life that you are perhaps only now beginning to consider and to experience. That is the reality of your higher purpose in the world—that you came into the world for a greater purpose, which you have not yet discovered; that your life has another dimension that you are only beginning to consider and experience; that you are not just the product of your family and your culture. You actually are here on a mission. You have something important to do that is waiting to be discovered and expressed.

解决个人层面的关系很重要，但你生命中还有另一个层面，你也许现在才开始考虑和体验。它就是你在世界上更高宗旨的现实——你来到这个世界是为了一个更伟大的目的，你还没有发现它；你的生命有另一个维度，你才刚刚开始考虑和体验它；你不仅仅是你的家庭和你的文化的产物。你来到这里是为了一个使命。你有一件重要的事情要做，等待被发现和表达。

The degree to which you have experienced the reality of this greater purpose, even if your experience has been very intermittent, will give you a different perspective on your past relationships. You will see them now in a very different way. You will see them within the context of whether they served you or not in gaining the awareness of your greater purpose in life and the reality of Knowledge that lives within you.

你体验到这个更伟大目的的现实程度，即使你的体验非常断断续续，也会让你对你过去的关系有一个不同的视角。你现在将以一种非常不同的方式来看待它们。你将在它们是否帮助你获得对你生命更伟大目的，以及生活在你内在内识现实的觉知的背景中看待它们。

Here you can see that if your family life was unhappy, it propelled you out. It made you think for yourself. It required a certain kind of independence. It launched you. Unable to stay where you are, you were forced to move your life in a different direction, hopefully a good direction guided by Knowledge.

在这里，你可以看到，如果你的家庭生活不幸福，它就会推动你走出来。它让你独立思考。它需要某种独立性。它让你前进。你无法停留在原地，你被迫将生命推向不同的方向，希望这是一个内识指引的正确方向。

Often people who grow up in extremely loving and inclusive families find themselves encased in their family and cannot escape. If they have something significant to do in their life, which would not include their family, then they are trapped. They are trapped by love. They are trapped by inclusion. They cannot disappoint their parents or their family, and so they are held in place—a kind of prisoner of their family.

在充满爱和包容的家庭中长大的人，往往会发现他们自己被困在家庭中，无法逃脱。如果他们生命中有重要的事情要做，而这些事情不包括家人，那么他们就会被困住。他们被爱困住了。他们被包容困住了。他们不能让父母或家人失望，所以他们被困在原地——成为家庭的囚徒。

Many people are actually in this situation and are really trapped as a result. Had they been born into families that did not have this loving nature and inclusiveness, they may have been able to free themselves at an early time and begin a different kind of journey in life.

许多人其实都处于这样的境地，并因此陷入困境。如果他们出生在没有这种爱心和包容性的家庭，他们可能能够早日解脱，开始另一种生命旅程。

So even your disappointment regarding your childhood, whatever that may be for you, can be seen from a different perspective altogether. In light of your freedom and ability to gain a sense of the real direction of your life, you will see these early circumstances quite differently. Sometimes even the loss of a parent in early childhood when you were young creates an advantage for the discovery of your greater purpose.

因此，即使你对童年的失望，无论对你来说是什么，都可以从完全不同的角度看待。鉴于你的自由和对生命真正方向的感知能力，你会以完全不同的方式看待这些早期的情况。有时，即使是在你年幼时失去父母，也会为你发现更伟大的目的创造优势。

The errors of your parents and the difficulties of your family can all give rise to compassion and wisdom, for much wisdom is learning what not to do in life—learning what is not right and correct for you, learning where you should not go, or what you should not do, or who you should not spend time with, and what activities you should not be engaged with. These limits and boundaries constitute a great part of real wisdom in life and make it easier for you to discern a true direction. As the choices become limited, the possibility for you to discern your true direction can greatly increase.

父母的错误和家庭的困难都能激发同情和智慧，因为智慧的源泉在于学习生命中不该做什么——学习什么对你来说是不正确的，学习你不应该去哪里，不该做什么，不该和谁在一起，不该参与什么活动。这些限制和界限构成了生命中真正智慧的很大一部分，让你更容易辨别真实的方向。随着选择变得有限，你辨别你真实方向的可能性就会大大增加。

So while you may interpret your early relationships from a personal standpoint, you will gain a very different perspective looking from a standpoint of attempting to gain, to discern and to express a higher purpose in life.

因此，虽然你可能从个人角度解释你早期的关系，但从试图获得、辨别和表达生命中更高宗旨的角度来看，你将获得非常不同的视角。

Many of the greatest contributors to humanity were born under very unpleasant or impoverished circumstances. Often they were not the children of loving and protective parents. While this was disappointing and could even wound them in many ways, it provided an opening—an opportunity to set off on a different path, a different path from their family, perhaps, to embark on a different kind of journey rather than simply being a component of a family or a component of a culture or a religion.

许多对人类做出过更伟大贡献的人都出生在非常不幸或贫困的环境中。他们往往不是充满爱心和保护欲的父母的孩子。虽然这令人失望，甚至可能在许多方面伤害他们，但这也为他们提供了一个机会——一个踏上不同道路的机会，一条与家人不同的道路，或许，踏上一种不同的旅程，而不仅仅是成为一个家庭或一种文化或宗教的组成部分。

You cannot gain this greater perspective unless you have begun to take this greater journey in your life, but it will alter your understanding of your past. In many cases, you will see that a disappointment was really an advantage.

除非你已经开始踏上生命中更伟大的旅程，否则你无法获得这种更伟大的视角，但它将改变你对过去的理解。在很多情况下，你会发现失望其实是一种优势。

Perhaps you wanted to be in relationship with someone and to have them become your partner, but they declined, and you were disappointed. And you even still perhaps feel the pain of that. But from a greater standpoint, you can recognize that you were saved from a relationship that would never work and which could have consumed so much of your life. You will look back and say to yourself, “Oh, I am so glad I did not go with that person! I am so glad they turned me down! For they could not have gone where I am going now. They could not support me in what I must do with my life.”

也许你想和某人建立关系并让其成为你的伴侣，但他们拒绝了，你感到失望。你甚至可能仍然感到痛苦。但从更伟大的角度来看，你可以认识到你从一段永远不会成功、可能消耗你生命中许多时间的关系中被拯救了出来。你会回首往事，对你自己说：“哦，我很高兴我没有和那个人在一起！我很高兴他们拒绝了我！因为他们不可能去我现在要去的地方。他们无法支持我度过我生命中必须做的事情。”

Here forgiveness becomes more complete because you see the value of what happened. It [does not mean] that what happened was meant to happen, but that you are gaining value from what happened. It is teaching you about truth and error. It is teaching you about the hopelessness of fantasy and the importance of gaining a connection to the deeper Knowledge that lives within you.

在这里，宽恕变得更加完整，因为你看到了所发生之事的价值。它并不意味着所发生之事注定发生，而是你从所发生之事中获得价值。它教导你关于真理与错误。它教导你关于幻想的无望以及获得与你内在更深层次内识的联接的重要性。

From a personal standpoint, you could spend years in therapy trying to work out your feelings regarding your parents or some other significant person, but you will never really be able to forgive them and understand them until you take this greater journey in life and begin to experience a greater purpose. For only in this light and within this context can you see the value of what happened before—not only the value for your learning, but really the value in freeing you, in equipping you and educating you for a greater purpose in life.

从个人角度来看，你可以花数年时间接受治疗，试图理清你对父母或其他重要人物的感受，但除非你踏上生命中更伟大的旅程，开始体验更伟大的目的，否则你永远无法真正原谅他们、理解他们。因为只有在这种光辉下、在这种背景下，你才能看到过去发生的一切的价值——不仅仅是你学习的价值，而且实际是解放你、装备你、教育你实现生命中更伟大的目的的价值。

Whatever your greater purpose may be, it must have a foundation in Knowledge and Wisdom. It must be guided by the deeper Knowledge that God has placed within you. And it must be built on a foundation of Wisdom. Most of your wisdom will be learned from your own mistakes and the mistakes of other people. But if you are condemning yourself or other people for these mistakes, you cannot gain the wisdom from them. You have not gained the value of what happened, and therefore you cannot forgive the other person or yourself.

无论你的更伟大目的是什么，它都必须以内识和智慧为基础。它必须受到上帝放置在你内在的更深层次内识的指导。它必须建立在智慧的基础上。你的大部分智慧都将从你自己的错误和他人的错误中习得。但如果你因为这些错误而谴责你自己或他人，你就无法从中获得智慧。你没有获得所发生之事的价值，因此你无法原谅他人或你自己。

You will honor your parents when you see they gave you what they could give you to the best of their ability, and whatever happened, it gave you an opportunity to develop your own strength, your own courage and your own self-determination.

当你看到你的父母尽其所能地给予你一切时，你就会尊敬他们，无论发生什么，这都给了你发展你自己的力量、勇气和自决的机会。

Perhaps your parents were very loving, and they encouraged this in you, and you were the beneficiary of their guidance and support. Perhaps your parents had no idea and no respect for the deeper movement of your life, and their rejection of this forced you to become self-determined. In either case, you were given the freedom to move with Knowledge.

也许你的父母非常有爱心，他们鼓励你这样做，你是他们指导和支持的受益者。也许你的父母对你生命更深层次的运动一无所知，也不尊重，他们对此的拒绝迫使你变得自决。无论哪种情况，你都被赋予了带着内识前行的自由。

Everyone’s life situation is unique to a certain degree, but fundamentally everyone in the world was sent for a greater purpose. Anyone who is beginning to discover that for themselves must re-evaluate their past to free up their emotions, to release their condemnation and to restore humanity to all the people who influenced them. This is necessary, or you will be too disabled emotionally and psychologically to undertake a greater purpose in life. Your feelings will be bound to the past. Your judgments will shut you down. Your mind will be dark, full of condemnation and distrust.

每个人的生命状况在某种程度上都是独一无二的，但从根本上说，世界上每个人都是为了一个更伟大的目的而存在的。任何开始为自己发现这一点的人都必须重新评估他们自己的过去，以释放他们的情感，释放他们的谴责，并恢复所有影响过他们的人性。这是必要的，否则你在情感和心理上就会变得太无能，无法承担一种更伟大的生命目的。你的感情会被过去所束缚。你的判断会让你陷入困境。你的心灵会变得黑暗，充满谴责和不信任。

Fundamentally, Knowledge within you will set you right with everyone in your life and will show you the value of all of your relationships in enabling you to discover and to value a greater purpose in life and to build the foundation of wisdom that you must have to experience and to express this purpose correctly.

从根本上来说，你内在的内识将让你与生命中的每个人建立正确的关系，并将向你展示所有关系的价值，这使你能够发现和珍视生命中的更伟大目的，并构建你必须拥有的智慧基础，以体验和正确地表达这个目的。

When you begin to experience forgiveness at this level, your whole demeanor will change. Instead of feeling restraint and inability within yourself, you will feel open and powerful. Creativity will return to you. You will be able to see other people clearly and compassionately for who they are and for where they are. They will no longer simply be symbolic of someone else, a reminder of someone else. You will be able to see them clearly as they are, without condemnation.

当你开始体验到这种程度的宽恕时，你的整个举止都会改变。你不会感到内心的束缚和无能，而是会感到开放和强大。创造力会回到你身边。你将能够清晰而富有同情心地看待其他人，看清他们是谁，看清他们身在何处。他们不再只是某人的象征，是某人的提醒。你将能够清楚地看到他们的存在，而没有谴责。

Healing comes as a result of recognizing a greater purpose in your life. If you go through the rest of your life as a wounded individual, what is the value of that? If you spend the rest of your life feeling hurt or misunderstood or rejected or unloved, what is the value of that? You are just adding misery to the world. You are just another unhappy person in the world, be you rich or poor.

治愈源自于认识到你生命中更伟大的目的。如果你的余生都是一个受伤的人，它还有什么价值呢？如果你的余生都是在感到受伤、被误解、被拒绝或不被爱，那还有什么价值呢？你只是给这个世界增添了痛苦。无论你是富人还是穷人，你都只是这个世界上另一个不快乐的人。

Real resolution comes within the context of your assuming a greater purpose in life, and only Knowledge within you—the deeper Intelligence that God has placed within you—can guide you to this purpose, can reveal what it means and can bring to you the people who will help you to experience it. Only Knowledge within you can give you a clear understanding of where you have been and who you have been with, what held you back and what moved you forward. Here you will be able to see a miracle in adversity. This will change your understanding of your past, the present and the future.

真正的决心来自于你承担起一个更伟大生命目的的背景，只有你内在的内识——上帝放置在你内在的更深层次的智能——能够引导你走向这个目的，能够揭示它的意义，能够给你带来那些将帮助你体验它的人。只有你内在的内识能够让你清晰地理解你去过哪里、和谁在一起、是什么阻碍了你、是什么推动了你前进。在这里，你将能够看到逆境中的奇迹。这将改变你对过去、现在和未来的理解。

You must gain this greater perspective. But you must also express your feelings constructively. You must understand the condition of those people who have upset you or disappointed you. You must do the work at this level as well, for until you do, you are not emotionally free. You are not emotionally honest. And you will pollute your current relationships with your unforgiveness from the past.

你必须获得这种更伟大的视角。但你也必须建设性地表达你的感受。你必须理解那些让你心烦意乱或让你失望的人的状况。你也必须在这个层面上做工作，因为直到你这样做，你才会在情感上自由。你在情感上是不诚实的。你会用你过去的不宽恕污染你现在的关系。

To know who other people are in your life, you must know what your life is really about. This is not an intellectual understanding. This is not a guessing game. This is not simply you painting the picture of what you would like your life to be—out of wishing and preference and fantasy. It is coming to terms with something more elemental, more fundamental about your life and your nature. For you were truly designed for something special in the world, but until you could come to terms with what this role really is, how would you ever be able to understand your nature? You would simply compare yourself with other people, to your disadvantage or to their disadvantage.

要知道你生命中的其他人是谁，你必须知道你的生命真正是什么。这不是一种智力上的理解。这不是一场猜谜游戏。这并非只是你出于愿望、偏好和幻想，描绘出你想要的生命是什么样的画面。这是在接受关于你的生命和你的自然的一种更基本、更根本的内识。因为你确实是为了世界上某种特别的事情而被设计出来的，但直到你能够接受这个角色的真正含义之前，你又怎么能够理解你的自然呢？你只会将你自己与其他人进行比较，以不利于你或不利于他们。

Your past will haunt you. It will be a black cloud over you—drawing you backwards, restraining you, distorting your perception of others and your experience of yourself—until this work can be done. You cannot enter a new life until you have resolved your old life. A new life is not simply built on top of an old life. It is like a bridge to another reality. You cannot carry all of your anger and resentment and anxiety over that bridge and hope to experience a new life of any kind.

你的过去会困扰你。它会像一片乌云笼罩着你——把你往后拉，束缚你，扭曲你对他人的看法和对你自己的体验——直到这项工作完成。在你解决旧生命之前，你无法进入新的生命。新的生命并不是简单地建立在旧的生命之上。它就像通往另一个现实的桥梁。你不能带着所有的愤怒、怨恨和焦虑越过这座桥，并希望体验任何一种新的生命。

This kind of inner work is very important. It is part of your preparation. It is part of preparing you for a greater purpose in the world. It is part of your learning about relationships and higher purpose.

这种内在工作非常重要。它是你准备工作的一部分。它是你为实现世界上的更伟大目的做准备的一部分。它是你学习关系和更高宗旨的一部分。

Many people try to use religion and spirituality as a kind of bypass. They want to leap into a new life without resolving their former life. And, of course, this is not successful. They simply take their old life into their new life, and they find themselves still living in the same reality even if the appearance of their life has changed.

许多人试图利用宗教和精神性作为一种旁路。他们想在不解决旧生命问题的情况下进入新的生命。当然，这是行不通的。他们只是把旧的生命带入新的生命，即使生活面貌已经改变，他们自己仍然生活在同样的现实中。

Your spiritual work must fundamentally deal with the issue of resolution and forgiveness, which requires that you gain an understanding of the reality of those people whom you blame or with whom you have contention, and to recognize the importance of this relationship in giving you wisdom and helping to teach you something of real value that you can use throughout the course of your life.

你的精神工作必须从根本上处理解决和宽恕的问题，这要求你理解那些你所责备或与你有争执的人的现实，并认识到这种关系在给予你智慧和帮助教会你一些你可以在生命中使用真正有价值的事情方面的​​重要性。

True discernment in life is based upon the recognition of error and gaining value from error so as not to repeat your former mistakes. It is fundamentally a process of recognizing what is valuable and distinguishing that from what is not valuable, what is real from what is unreal, what is true from what is untrue.

生命中真实的辨别力基于对错误的认知，并从错误中汲取价值，从而不再重蹈覆辙。从根本上说，辨别过程就是认识什么是有价值的，区分什么是没有价值的，什么是真正的，什么是虚幻的，什么是真实的，什么是虚假的。

But you must do this compassionately if it is to serve you. To be a harsh critic of yourself and other people means that you have not really gained the value of your relationships. You have not really gained the wisdom that you need. You are still operating from a position of being wounded and resentful.

但你必须怀着同情心去做这件事，这样才能对你有所帮助。对你自己和他人进行严厉的批评意味着你还没有真正认识到关系的价值。你还没有真正获得你所需要的智慧。你仍然处于受伤和怨恨的状态。

If you are to see into the reality of another person, which is necessary if you are ever to establish a real relationship with them, you cannot bring the weight of condemnation into this understanding. Even if you recognize limitations and errors within this person, it is done from a position of clarity and compassion. There is no blame.

如果你要看见另一个人的现实，而这在你想与他们建立真正的关系时是必要的，那么你就不能带着谴责的重担去理解。即使你认识到这个人的局限性和错误，这也是从清醒和同情的角度出发的。没有责备。

If you are ever able to honor yourself and your purpose in this world, you cannot be condemning yourself. If your self-esteem is low, how can you ever assume a greater life, a greater purpose and a greater calling?

如果你能尊重你自己和你在世上的目的，你就不能谴责你自己。如果你的自尊心很低，你怎么能想象一种更伟大的生命、一种更伟大的目的和一种更伟大的召唤？

Many people want to use spirituality as a kind of escape from their dreadful past and from their own dark feelings about themselves and other people, but this is not appropriate and will never lead to success. You still must engage in this fundamental work of revisiting your past, of finding a constructive way to express your feelings and of re-evaluating what happened in light of your ability to experience a greater purpose in the world.

很多人想利用精神性来逃避他们可怕的过去以及他们对他们自己和他人的黑暗感受，但这并不合适，也永远不会成功。你依然必须从事这项根本性的工作，重新审视你的过去，找到一种建设性的方式来表达你的感受，并根据你在世界上体验更伟大目的的能力重新评估所发生的事情。

Anyone who has really made progress here has had to undergo this re-evaluation. Sometimes it can be very lengthy and very involved, but it must be done. You cannot be chained to the past. You cannot be limited by the past if you are to be able to move forward with all of your strength and available abilities.

任何真正取得进步的人都必须接受这种重新评估。有时，这个过程可能非常漫长，非常复杂，但必须这样做。你不能被过去所束缚。如果你想用你所有的力量和能力向前迈进，你就不能被过去所限制。

To gain a new life, you must have peace with your former life. You must see its advantages and its disadvantages and gain wisdom from both. You must look compassionately at the conditions of people who influenced you and recognize that were you in their place, perhaps you would not have done any better.

要获得一种新的生命，你必须与过去的生命和平相处。你必须看到它的优点和缺点，并从中汲取智慧。你必须以同情心看待对你产生影响的人的处境，并认识到如果你处于他们的位置，也许你不会做得更好。

This restores their humanity to you. Now you can gain value from their strengths and their weaknesses, from their accomplishments and from their errors. You can respect them. You can honor them for their effort in trying to do the right thing even if they themselves were handicapped by their own internal state and by their circumstances in life.

这让你恢复了他们的人性。现在，你可以从他们的优点和缺点、成就和错误中获得价值。你可以尊重他们。你可以尊敬他们为做正确的事情所付出的努力，即使他们自己在生命中受到他们内部状态和他们环境的阻碍。

Here you will see that everything that has happened to you is material to develop wisdom. It is raw material for you to develop a greater wisdom and discernment and a greater compassion for people—to free your mind, to free your life, to free your emotions, to free your feelings, to make you feel alive again and wholly present in the moment, to open your eyes to the possibilities of your discerning your greater purpose and following a different kind of pathway in life that is not governed by the past.

在这里，你将看到，发生在你身上的一切都是为了发展智慧。它是你发展一种更伟大智慧和辨别力以及对人们的一种更伟大同情心的原材料——解放你的心灵，解放你的生命，解放你的情绪，解放你的感受，让你重新感到活着并全然活在当下，让你睁开双眼看到你辨识你的更伟大目的并遵循一种不受过去支配的不同类型的生命道路的可能性。

The New Message from God requires this kind of work. It requires that you cultivate the awareness you will need to be able to truly forgive and to gain value from your interactions with others, no matter how difficult they may have been at the time.

来自上帝的新讯息要求这样的工作。它要求你培养你所需要的觉知，以便能够真正原谅并从与他人的互动中获得价值，无论当时他们有多么困难。

The New Message teaching on relationships and higher purpose will require that you complete and that you forgive your former life so that you are free and powerful enough to take a greater journey. There is no escaping this work. There is no bypassing this work. There is no running away from your past. There is no hiding or denying or rejecting something that is real within yourself. Everything must come out into the open to be reconsidered and re-evaluated.

新讯息关于关系和更高宗旨的教导将要求你完成并原谅你前者的生命，这样你才能自由而强大，足以踏上更伟大的旅程。这项工作是无法逃避的。这项工作是无法绕过的。你无法逃避你的过去。你无法隐藏、否认或拒绝你内心真实的内识。一切都必须公开，以便重新考虑和重新评估。

You must be free to express grief, disappointment, anger. You must have this emotional freedom, or you are like a person who is held in chains, chained to a wall. You may have every advantage on the outside, but you are still like a person who is incarcerated within yourself, stifled by your own discord and by your own suppressed feelings and emotions.

你必须自由地表达悲伤、失望和愤怒。你必须拥有这种情感自由，否则你就像一个被锁链束缚的人，被锁在墙上。你可能在外表上拥有一切优势，但你仍然像一个被囚禁在你自己内心的人，被你自己的不和谐和你自己压抑的感情和情绪所扼杀。

Your feelings and emotions in the future are meant to be vehicles for expressing something greater in life, but if you are choked and if your feelings are suppressed, how could you ever express anything great in life? Your whole mechanism of expression, your whole medium of expression—your ideas, your emotions, your feelings, your perceptions—are all constrained.

你未来的感受和情绪本应成为表达生命中更伟大内识的载体，但如果你被扼杀，如果你的感受被压抑，你怎么能表达生命中的伟大的事物呢？你的整个表达机制、你的整个表达媒介——你的想法、你的情绪、你的感受、你的感知——都受到了限制。

There must be freedom at this level. You cannot be choked and be able to experience and express something great in life. You cannot be held in the past like a prisoner if you are to be free to move forward and to assume your true purpose and destiny in this life.

在这个层面上必须有自由。你不能被束缚，而要能够体验和表达生命中的伟大内识。如果你想自由地前进，并承担你今生真实的目的和天命，你就不能像囚犯一样被困在过去。

So the healing must happen. But healing requires recognition, and it must produce wisdom for you to be real and complete. People think healing is just making painful things go away, like healing a wound in your body. But healing at the level of your thinking and emotions is really something else. It is not just an escape from pain; it is not just wanting to make something go away.

因此，必须进行治愈。但治愈需要认知，它必须产生智慧，才能使你真实而完整。人们认为治愈只是让痛苦消失，就像治愈身体上的伤口一样。但思维和情感层面的治愈实际上是另一回事。它不仅仅是逃避痛苦；它不仅仅是想让某些事情消失。

It requires facing something and determining its real value and meaning for your life. That is healing. It is turning something that was harmful and painful into something that is beneficial and useful. It is the recognition and the restoration of wisdom and value from something.

它要求你面对某件事，并确定它对你生命的实际价值和意义。这就是治愈。它把有害和痛苦的事情变成有益和有用的事情。它是从某件事中认知和恢复智慧和价值。

Yes, you were disappointed. What value can you gain from that? What wisdom can that provide you that is really beneficial and is not tainted with condemnation and resentment? If your parents could not express love for you or treated you harshly, what can this teach you about inner freedom? Can this reinforce your own commitment to inner freedom, or are you using this against yourself and other people?

是的，你很失望。你能从中得到什么价值？这能给你带来什么智慧，让你真正受益，而不会受到谴责和怨恨的影响？如果你的父母不能表达对你的爱，或者对你很严厉，这能教会你关于内心自由的内识？这能加强你对内心自由的承诺吗？还是你正在利用这一点来对付你自己和他人？

Every circumstance is useful in gaining wisdom and in learning the value of Knowledge within yourself and in other people. Every situation can yield this value to you. It does not mean the situation was good. It does not mean that it was meant to happen, necessarily, for many things happen that were never meant to happen. They just happened. It is the value that you gain from them that is significant.

每种情况都有助于获得智慧，有助于学习你自己和他人内在内识的价值。每种情况都能为你带来这种价值。这并不意味着这种情况是好的。也并不意味着它必然会发生，因为许多事情发生了，但这些事情从来就不该发生。它们只是发生了。重要的是你从中获得的价值。

Do not claim that everything happens for a purpose. That is ignorance. But it does mean that you can use everything for a higher purpose. That is wisdom. It is not the intention of an event. It is the value you gain from it. It is the wisdom you bring to it. It is your courage to face it and to determine what it has to teach you.

不要声称每件事的发生都是有目的的。那是无知。但这确实意味着你可以将每件事用于一个更高宗旨。这就是智慧。它不是事件的目的。它是你从中获得的价值。它是你为它带来的智慧。它是你面对它并确定它能教给你内识的勇气。

Here you learn from the errors of everyone. Everyone is serving you now—making you wiser and more compassionate, more self-aware, stronger and more free within yourself to follow a greater purpose in your life.

在这里，你可以从每个人的错误中吸取教训。现在每个人都在为你服务——让你变得更明智、更有同情心、更有自我意识、更强大、内心更自由，从而追寻你生命中更伟大的目的。

This is like a 180-degree change from your former position. Instead of going through life as a wounded child, you are now using everything that happens to teach you the value of Knowledge, to generate a commitment to following Knowledge within yourself and to show you the importance of inner freedom and the value of forgiveness as they must truly be experienced.

这与你之前的立场相比，简直是180度的大转变。现在，你不再像一个受伤的孩子一样度过一生，而是利用发生的一切来教导你内识的价值，让你内心产生追随内识的决心，并向你展示内心自由的重要性和宽恕的价值，因为它们必须是真正的体验。

Part of your deep evaluation in life is to go back and to review all of your relationships. Ask yourself in each one: “What is the wisdom I must gain from this relationship? What are the circumstances under which this other person lived that determined their attitude and their behavior? How can I learn from their own experiences? How did they try to help me in spite of their difficulties? How did this relationship help to prepare me to find and to express a greater purpose in my life?”

对生命进行深度评估的一部分就是回顾和审视你所有的关系。在每一段关系中，问问你自己：“我必须从这段关系中获得什么智慧？这个人的生活环境决定了他们的态度和行为？我如何从他们自己的经历中学习？他们是如何克服困难帮助我的？这段关系如何帮助我找到并表达我生命中更伟大的目的？”

These questions are very important because they give you an opportunity to see your relationships from a higher vantage point. Instead of being lost in the woods in the valley below, you have now gained a position on the mountain where you can see the landscape clearly. Here you will see that, through truth and error, people have been serving you, but you can only see this within the context of your gaining a greater purpose in life.

这些问题非常重要，因为它们让你有机会从更高的视角看待你的关系。你不再迷失在山谷下的森林中，而是站在山上，可以清楚地看到风景。在这里，你会看到，通过真理和错误，人们一直在为你服务，但你只能在你获得生命中更伟大目的的背景下看到这一点。

If your family could not accept you, that is good because your future purpose in life may be something that has to operate outside the network of your family, and they have given you the freedom to pursue that. If you were disappointed in a relationship, did it not free you for a greater future? Had you married that person, you may never have had the opportunity or found the inner strength or certainty to discern what you are really here to do.

如果你的家人不能接受你，这很好，因为你未来的生命目的可能必须在家庭网络之外实现，而他们给了你追求这个目的的自由。如果你对一段感情感到失望，这难道不会让你获得一个更伟大的未来吗？如果你嫁给了那个人，你可能永远没有机会或找到内在的力量或确定性来辨别你真正来这里要做什么。

Have not the errors of others and your own mistakes given you a core and a foundation for developing wisdom—wisdom that will save your life and that will be of immense value to other people, wisdom that you can teach and demonstrate, wisdom that will be part of your gift to a struggling humanity?

他人的错误和你自己的错误难道没有为你发展智慧提供核心和基础吗——这种智慧将拯救你的生命，对其他人具有极大的价值，这种智慧你可以教授和展示，这种智慧将成为你对苦苦挣扎的人类的礼物的一部分？

This represents a revolution within yourself—a real transformation, an entirely different position from which to see life and to see yourself. And it is entirely honest. It is entirely authentic. There is no emotional dishonesty here. There is no self-deception here. There is no glossing over the truth here with fanciful ideas. It is entirely sound. It is entirely real.

这代表着你自己内心的一场革命——一场真正的转变，一个完全不同的视角来看待生命和你自己。而且它是完全诚实的。它是完全真实的。这里没有情感上的欺骗。这里没有自欺欺人。这里没有用异想天开的想法来掩盖真理。它是完全合理的。它是完全真实的。

Here forgiveness becomes the means by which other people’s lives can teach you something of value and can encourage you to have the strength and the commitment and the wisdom to choose and to accept the gift of a greater purpose in life.

在这里，宽恕成为一种方式，通过这种方式，他人的生命能够教会你一些有价值的事情，并能够鼓励你拥有力量、承诺和智慧来选择和接受生命中一个更伟大目的的礼物。