Raising Children

As received by Marshall Vian Summers on December 18, 2007 in Boulder, Colorado
2007年12月18日，在科罗拉多州博尔德(Boulder, Colorado)，向上帝的信使马歇尔・维安・萨默斯(Marshall Vian Summers)揭示

It is important to remember that it is everyone’s purpose in the world to discover the Knowledge that God has placed within them and to do this to the best of their abilities, given their circumstances and their opportunities for contribution.

重要的是要记住，每个人来到这个世界上的目的都是为了发现上帝放置在他们内在的内识，并根据他们所处的境况和贡献机会，尽其所能地去做到这一点。

In many places in the world today, these opportunities and these circumstances are very restricted as people are struggling to eke out a living under very difficult environmental and political circumstances. In some cases, their religious beliefs circumscribe them as well. This creates great problems for people in understanding their true Divine nature and limits their access to the discovery and the expression of Knowledge, the deeper Intelligence that the Creator of all life has placed within each person as a potential.

当今世界的许多地方，这些机会和环境都受到了极大的限制，因为人们在极其艰难的环境和政治环境下挣扎求生。在某些情况下，他们的宗教信仰也限制了他们。这给人们理解他们真实的神圣自然带来了巨大困难，限制了他们发现和表达内识的机会，内识是所有生命的创造者放置在每个人内在的潜能，一种更深层次的智能。

The opportunity, then, to have children within a supportive environment of marriage is very unique in the opportunities it can provide for a person to gain a real advantage in developing the connection to Knowledge and in experiencing the power and the presence of Knowledge, even from an early age. Here as a parent, you have the opportunity to create a more optimal environment for Knowledge to be experienced and to be expressed in the young person.

因此，在婚姻的支持环境中生儿育女的机会是非常独特的，因为它可以为一个人提供机会，让他获得真正的优势，发展与内识的联接，体验内识的力量和存在，​​甚至从很小的时候开始。在这里，作为父母，你有机会创造一个更理想的环境，让内识在年轻人身上得到体验和表达。

Very young children often experience Knowledge tremendously, but they are forced to adapt to environments where Knowledge is not recognized or expressed, where real honesty is not valued or experienced. They are extremely impressionable and sensitive, and so they pick up all of the powerful influences in the mental environment—the environment of thought around them. And because they are helpless and have not the strength yet to determine their own awareness and their own boundaries, they are open to all of these forces and influences.

非常年幼的孩子们常常体验到极大的内识，但他们被迫适应内识不被认可或表达的环境，真正的诚实不被重视或体验的环境。他们极其易受影响和敏感，因此他们吸收了心理环境——他们周​​围的心理环境——中的所有强大影响。因为他们无助，还没有力量去确定他们自己的觉知和他们自己的界限，他们对所有这些力量和影响都持开放态度。

Having a positive mental environment for children is very important—an environment that is encouraging and yet emphasizes a kind of practical wisdom that they will need to function successfully in the world and to learn how to get along with other young people, and other adults as well.

为孩子营造积极的心理环境非常重要——这种环境既令人鼓舞，又强调一种实用智慧，他们需要这种智慧才能在世界上成功地生存，并学会如何与其他年轻人和其他成年人相处。

While it is not necessary that a young person learn about the New Message from God, it is important that they can participate in gaining the skills that the New Message provides—learning to experience Knowledge; learning to discern what is going on objectively; learning to value one’s own experience over the expectations of others; recognizing the hazards and opportunities of the world; developing wisdom around how to participate with people: when to express oneself, when not to express oneself; how to listen to others to discern what they are really communicating; how to interpret the forces around them.

尽管年轻人没有必要学习来自上帝的新讯息，但重要的是他们可以参与获得新讯息所提供的技能——学会体验内识；学会客观地辨别正在发生的事情；学会重视自己的经验而不是他人的期望；认识世界的危险和机会；发展如何与人交往的智慧：何时表达自己，何时不表达自己；如何倾听他人以辨别他们真正在传达什么；如何解读周围的力量。

This all seems very advanced, but really in essence it is quite simple if the individual can value their own experience and over time gain skill in interpreting what is happening within them and around them.

这一切看起来都非常先进，但实际上，如果个人能够重视他们自己的体验，并随着时间的推移获得解释他们内部和周围发生的事情的技能，那么本质上这一切都非常简单。

Giving a young child a lot of things to believe in is counterproductive here. This begins to restrain awareness and to lock up the mind. Here religious education at an early age can be very damaging to a young person.

让年幼的孩子相信很多事情是适得其反的。这会开始限制觉知并封闭心灵。从小接受宗教教育对年轻人非常有害。

For it is necessary ultimately that people, instead of praising God or believing in the dictates or the principles of a particular religion, that they value and follow what God has placed within them.

因为最终人们不应该赞美上帝或相信某种特定宗教的教义或原则，而应该珍视和遵循上帝放置在他们内在的内识。

In the New Message, this is called Knowledge. It is the deeper Mind within each person. You were born with this deeper Mind. And while your intellect is being formed and shaped by the world around you, by the influence of your parents and family, Knowledge is still alive within you. It is sending messages to you. It is even counseling you at a very early age.

在新讯息中，这被称为内识。它是每个人内在更深层次的心灵。你生来就拥有这种更深层次的心灵。虽然你的智力正在被你周围的世界、你的父母和家人的影响所形成和塑造，但内识仍然活在你的内在。它正在向你传递讯息。它甚至在你很小的时候就为你提供咨询。

In raising a young child, you cannot destroy Knowledge within them, but you can overlay Knowledge with ideas, beliefs and expectations. And because the child is also born with a human nature, they will have human tendencies as well. They will have anger. They will have disappointment. They will feel jealousy. They will want things that are not good for them. They will not yet have the ability to discriminate what is healthy, what is unhealthy, what is dangerous from what is beneficial. This is all part of the wisdom training that is so important for them to begin to accumulate, even at a very early age.

在抚养一个年幼的孩子时，你无法摧毁他们内在的内识，但你可以用想法、信仰和期望覆盖内识。而且因为孩子生来也具有一种人类的自然，他们也会具有人类的倾向。他们会愤怒。他们会失望。他们会感到嫉妒。他们会想要对他们不利的事物。他们还没有能力辨别什么是健康的，什么是不健康的，什么是危险的，什么是有益的。这都是智慧训练的一部分，对他们来说，即使在很小的时候就开始积累智慧也是非常重要的。

So while the child is born with Knowledge intact fully, they must learn wisdom. Wisdom must be learned. Therefore, it is very important in beginning to support your child to teach them wisdom at a very fundamental level: what will help them from what will hurt them, what looks good from what really is good, what is advantageous and what is dangerous.

因此，尽管孩子天生就拥有完整的内识，但他们必须学习智慧。智慧是需要学习的。因此，一开始就支持你的孩子从最基本的层面教他们智慧是非常重要的：什么会对他们有帮助，什么会伤害他们，什么看起来好，什么真的好，什么是有利的，什么是危险的。

It is sad that most parents cannot even make these distinctions themselves very effectively, and so they cannot teach their children what they themselves have not yet learned. That is why in the New Message, there is not a great emphasis placed on teaching children because it is the parents that must gain a foundation in Knowledge and must learn to discern their own worldly wisdom, to whatever extent it has been established thus far, from their own desires, beliefs and preferences.

可悲的是，大多数父母他们自己甚至无法非常有效地做出这些区分，因此他们无法教给孩子他们自己尚未学会的事情。正因为如此，在新讯息中，并没有过多地强调教导孩子，因为父母必须获得内识的基础，必须学会从他们自己的欲望、信仰和偏好中辨别他们自己的世俗智慧，无论它迄今为止已经建立到何种程度。

To prepare the parents then is really the first step, for they cannot give their children what they themselves have not yet learned. If the parent has not yet learned real discernment, has not yet learned the value of discretion, has not yet learned how to listen within themselves objectively, has not yet learned how to restrain judgment and condemnation of others, well, what can they give their children except their own prejudices, their own expectations and the burden of whatever was placed upon them in their childhood as well?

因此，让父母做好准备才是真正的第一步，因为他们无法教给孩子他们自己尚未学会的内识。如果父母还没有学会真正的辨别能力，还没有学会谨慎的价值，还没有学会如何客观地倾听他们自己内心的声音，还没有学会如何抑制对他人的判断和谴责，那么，除了他们自己的偏见、他们自己的期望以及他们童年时所承受的负担之外，他们还能给孩子什么呢？

What is important for children is what is important for adults – Knowledge, wisdom, relationship and purpose.

对于孩子来说重要的，对于成年人来说也是重要的是——内识、智慧、关系和目的。

As We have said, everyone is born with Knowledge intact. In fact, Knowledge even within the newborn is completely intact. It contains the person’s purpose and their direction. It contains the information of who they must meet, what they must accomplish and the resident wisdom they will need to be able to find all this within the course of their life, within the many uncertain events that life will place before them and in which they will find themselves.

正如我们所说，每个人出生时都拥有完整的内识。事实上，即使是新生儿的内识也是完全完整的。它包含了一个人的目的和方向。它包含了他们必须遇见谁、必须完成什么的信息，以及他们需要的常驻智慧，以便能够在他们的生命历程中、在生命将摆在他们面前的许多不确定事件中以及在他们将发现他们自己的位置中找到所有这些。

You do not need to teach children Knowledge because you cannot teach Knowledge. You can only remind people that Knowledge is alive within them and that there is a way to Knowledge, that there are Steps to Knowledge that they can take.

你不需要教孩子内识，因为你无法教导内识。你只能提醒人们内识生活他们的内心，有一条通往内识的道路，他们可以开展内识的进阶。

For the young child, then, what is important is to have them begin to value what they see and feel. It is too soon at a very early age to learn discrimination regarding their own experience. First you must learn how to pay attention to your own experience and how to value your own experience. This comes before discrimination, before learning how to tell what is really true from what is not true.

因此，对于年幼的孩子来说，重要的是让他们开始重视他们所看到和感受到的一切。在很小的年纪就让他们学会辨别他们自己的经历还为时过早。首先你必须学会​​如何关注你自己的体验，如何重视你自己的体验。这要先于辨别力，在学会如何分辨什么是真的，什么是假的之前。

If you tell a child that their dreams are false, that their feelings are unimportant, they will not value their own experience. You will teach them that their own experience is worthless, it has no merit and that they must only learn how to follow the dictates of culture and religion.

如果你告诉孩子他们的梦想是虚假的，他们的感受是不重要的，那么他们就不会珍惜他们自己的经历。你会教导他们，他们自己的经历一文不值，没有任何价值，他们必须学会如何遵循文化和宗教的指令。

This is extremely dangerous. And for many people, really, this sets up a pattern of defeat for them that they will have to live with for the rest of their life—a pattern of defeat they may never be able to overcome.

这是极其危险的。实际上，对许多人来说，这为他们建立了一种失败模式，他们将不得不在余生中忍受这种失败模式——一种他们可能永远无法克服的失败模式。

You want a child to begin to listen to their experience. Ask them what they see. Ask them what they feel. Let them express themselves. Even if what they are seeing and feeling seems absurd or untrue, what is important is that they can learn to listen within themselves. What they hear is not so important yet, not as important as the desire and ability to hear and to listen and to feel what your own experience is telling you.

你想让孩子开始倾听他们的体验。问问他们看到了什么。问问他们感觉到了什么。让他们表达他们自己。即使他们所看到和感觉到的似乎荒谬或不真实，重要的是他们能够学会倾听他们自己的内心。他们听到的还不那么重要，更重要的是培养倾听和感受的渴望与能力，以及理解他们自己体验的能力。

Evaluation comes later. Discerning one’s experience comes later. If you do not have access to your own experience, well, you will not know what to discern. You will not be able to tell the difference between your experience and your ideas.

评估是后来的事。辨别一个人的经历也是后来的事。如果你无法获得你自己的经验，好吧，你就不知道该辨别什么。你将无法分辨你的经验和你的想法之间的区别。

This is the great problem that humanity and other forms of intelligent life in the universe all have to face. For you are born with two minds—a mind to think with and a Mind to Know. The Mind to Know is the permanent part of you. It is the gift of the Creator to guide you, to protect you and to lead you to your greater accomplishments in life.

这是人类和宇宙中其他形式的智能生命都必须面对的伟大问题。因为你生来就有两种心灵——一种是思考的心灵，一种是知道的心灵。知道的心灵是你永恒的一部分。它是造物主的礼物，用来指导你、保护你并引领你取得生命中更伟大的成就。

The mind to think with is really to navigate the particulars of life, to deal with physical reality, to learn skills and communication. It has a fundamental role, of course, but it should not be the guide of your life, for it is meant to serve Knowledge, as the mind is meant to serve Spirit.

用心灵思考，实际上是为了驾驭生命的细节，应对物质现实，学习技能和交流。当然，它起着根本性的作用，但它不应该成为你生命的指南，因为它是为了服务内识，就像心灵是为了服务精神一样。

So for the very young child, have them listen to their experience: “What did you feel today in seeing this thing? How did you feel about being around these people? What are you feeling at this moment?” And just let them express themselves. Let them listen. Let them try to understand what their own experience is, and encourage their expression.

因此，对于非常年幼的孩子，让他们倾听他们的体验：“今天看到这个东西时你有什么感受？和这些人在一起时你有什么感受？你此刻的感受是什么？”让他们表达他们自己。让他们倾听。让他们尝试理解他们的经历，并鼓励他们表达。

As they grow older, you can begin to teach them, if you know yourself, the difference between thinking and really experiencing Knowledge. The difference here is quite profound, but most people cannot discern it yet very effectively.

随着他们长大，如果你知道你自己，你就可以开始教他们思维和真正体验内识之间的区别。这里的差别相当深刻，但大多数人还不能非常有效地辨别它。

What is known is very pervasive within you. It does not change. It does not vacillate. It is not subject to the opinions of others or social conditioning or prevalent beliefs in your society. You feel it throughout your body. Perhaps you feel it as an idea. Perhaps you experience it as an idea. Perhaps you experience it as a sensation. Perhaps you see an image associated with it. It is quite distinct from your thoughts. It is permanent. It is pervasive. It is felt throughout your body.

已知的内识在你内心无处不在。它不会改变。它不会动摇。它不受他人意见、社会条件或社会普遍信仰的影响。你全身都能感受到它。也许你把它当作一个想法来感受。也许你把它当作一个想法来体验。也许你把它当作一种感觉来体验。也许你看到与之相关的图像。它与你的想法截然不同。它是永恒的。它是无处不在的。它遍布你的全身。

But the mind is thinking all the time, so these experiences might seem rare, and they might become lost within your thinking, your attitudes, your beliefs and your reactions to the world around you.

但是心灵一直在思考，所以这些体验可能看起来很少见，而且它们可能会迷失在你的思维、你的态度、你的信仰和你对周围世界的反应中。

Having a young person listen to their experience is the beginning of learning to listen to Knowledge—to listen, to feel, to see, to look, to begin to listen inside yourself while you are listening to the world, to begin to listen inside yourself while you are experiencing the world. This is natural for very young children, but they have not developed any wisdom yet. So Knowledge is only a potential within them.

让年轻人倾听他们的体验是学习倾听内识的开始——倾听、感受、观察、审视，在倾听世界的同时开始倾听你自己的内心，在体验世界的同时开始倾听你自己的内心。这对于非常年幼的孩子来说是自然而然的，但他们还没有发展出任何智慧。所以内识只是他们内在的一种潜力。

Do not think that children are wise. They have no wisdom yet. They will walk off the cliff if you let them. They will put their hands in the fire if you let them. They do not have wisdom yet.

不要认为孩子是明智的。他们还没有智慧。如果你让他们这么做，他们就会走下悬崖。如果你让他们这么做，他们就会把手伸进火里。他们还没有智慧。

Wisdom now is very important. Certainly every parent knows they must teach their children certain basic things to avoid danger. This is the very, very beginning of wisdom training, which ultimately is how to be in the world—how to be in the world guided by Knowledge.

智慧现在非常重要。当然，每个父母都知道他们必须教导孩子一些基本知识以避免危险。这是智慧训练的开始，最终是如何在世界上生存——如何在内识的指导下生存。

But you must learn these things. Being in the world is so very different from being in your Ancient Home. It takes years and years and years to learn these things. Human civilization, human involvements, human relationships are very complex and very conflicted. It takes real skill to be able to navigate all this effectively without losing yourself, or without falling prey to addiction and depression and self-destruction.

但你必须学习这些事情。身处世界与身处你的古老家园截然不同。学习这些事情需要很多年。人类文明、人类参与、人类关系非常复杂，充满矛盾。需要真正的技能才能有效地驾驭这一切，而不会迷失你自己，也不会沦为成瘾、抑郁和自我毁灭的牺牲品。

So as you take your child out of the house into the world, you begin to teach them things about the world. Have them watch. Tell them what they are looking at very objectively. Do not cast judgments upon other people. Do not say: “This is good.” “This is bad.” Just have them look. Tell them what is going on over there –what those people are doing. Take them into nature. Have them watch the animals and the plants, for that it is a very refreshing mental environment for a child.

因此，当你带孩子走出家门，走进世界时，你开始教他们关于世界的事情。让他们观察。告诉他们所看到的是什么，要非常客观。不要对他人妄加评判。不要说：“这是好的。”“这是坏的。”让他们去观察。告诉他们那边发生了什么——那些人在做什么。带他们去大自然。让他们观察动物和植物，因为这对孩子来说是一个非常令人耳目一新的心理环境。

Let them wander within boundaries. Let them explore. Children love to explore. Watch them, but do not be overly protective. Ask them what they are experiencing. Point things out to them. Spend this time with them looking like they are looking—with fresh, open eyes.

让他们在界限内游荡。让他们探索。孩子们喜欢探索。观察他们，但不要过度保护。问问他们正在经历什么。向他们指出事情。花点时间和他们在一起，让他们看起来像他们在看一样——用新鲜、开放的眼睛。

If you are too preoccupied to spend this time with children, then you should not have children. And if you have children, you must accept that this is part of their gift to you, and this is part of your gift to them.

如果你心事重重，没有时间陪伴孩子，那么你就不应该有孩子。如果你有了孩子，你必须接受这是他们给你礼物的一部分，这也是你给他们礼物的一部分。

This wisdom training should not be accompanied by very fearful language. You do not want to terrorize children. You simply want them to be able to understand on their own what they are looking at while giving them certain guidelines: places that are safe, places that are unsafe, human engagements that are safe, human engagements that are not safe. This is normal, of course, in nearly all families, but it is not taken very far in most circumstances. You have to stay with this throughout your child’s development.

这种智慧训练不应该伴随着非常可怕的语言。你不想吓唬孩子。你只是希望他们能够自己理解他们所看到的事物，同时给他们一定的指导方针：安全的地方，不安全的地方，安全的人类交往，不安全的人类交往。当然，这在几乎所有家庭中都是正常的，但在大多数情况下并没有走得太远。你必须在孩子的整个成长过程中坚持这一点。

At a certain point in adolescence, well, you cannot teach them wisdom training any more. They will not listen to you. They need to learn from others. That is why it is good to have other adults in their life who can help them learn things and experience things—other family members or close friends. It is important that children have access to more adults than only their parents.

在青春期的某个阶段，你无法再教他们智慧训练了。他们不会听你的。他们需要向他人学习。这就是为什么在他们的生命中有其他成年人可以帮助他们学习和体验事情是件好事——其他家庭成员或亲密朋友。重要的是，孩子们可以接触到更多的成年人，而不仅仅是他们的父母。

The third thing is discernment. Here you want your child to be able to listen to their own experience and over time learn to discern what is substantial in their experience and what is not, what they feel deeply from things that they only entertain at the surface of their mind.

第三件事是辨别力。你希望你的孩子能够倾听他们自己的体验，并随着时间的推移，学会分辨他们体验中哪些是实质性的，哪些是非实质性的，哪些是他们深刻感受到的，哪些是他们只停留在心灵表面的事物。

What are they really hearing in someone? How are they evaluating other people? For example, a child can experience the suffering of their parents or other adults to which they are exposed. It is important to allow them to express this by asking: “What did you see in this person? What did you feel being with this person?” This is all part of engaging them with a very natural discernment that is one of the great gifts of Knowledge within them.

他们在他人身上真正听到了什么？他们是如何评价他人的？例如，孩子会体验到父母或其他成年人给他们带来的痛苦。重要的是，通过询问让他们表达出来： “你从这个人身上看到了什么？和这个人在一起你有什么感受？“这都是让他们参与一种非常自然的辨别力的一部分，而这种辨别力正是他们内在内识的伟大礼物之一。

While you can tell someone something that is untrue, you cannot make Knowledge within them believe it. While you can be false in how you present yourself, you cannot fool Knowledge in another. If you are angry, they will feel it. If you are troubled, they will feel it. If you are frightened, they will feel it. If you are dishonest, they will feel it.

虽然你可以告诉某人一些不真实的事情，但你无法让他们内在的内识相信它。虽然你可以虚假地展现你自己，但你无法欺骗他人内在的内识。如果你生气，他们会感觉到。如果你烦恼，他们会感觉到。如果你害怕，他们会感觉到。如果你不诚实，他们会感觉到。

It is this discernment you want in your child, for this is a fundamental skill in life. This will save them from many calamities and will give them ever-increasing strength as they grow through their childhood and adolescence.

你希望孩子拥有这种辨别力，因为这是生命中的基本技能。这将使他们免于许多灾难，并在他们成长为儿童和青少年时给予他们不断增长的力量。

Share the wisdom from other people—from teachers, from poets, from musicians, from great thinkers. Expose them to wisdom. Do not tell them what it means or how they should regard it. Let them deal with it themselves—when they are able, when they reach an age when they can consider more complex thoughts or deeper insights, when their evaluative skills grow.

分享他人的智慧——来自老师、诗人、音乐家、伟大思想家的智慧。向他们展示智慧。不要告诉他们智慧的含义或他们应该如何看待它。让他们自己处理它——当他们有能力的时候，当他们到了可以考虑更复杂的思想或更深层次的见解的年龄的时候，当他们的评估能力增长的时候。

And by all means, share with them the wisdom that you have learned in your life—the things that you did that did not work, the things that you did that were real mistakes; the things that you did do that really made a difference, that were very wise and effective. Share your experience here, but do not add a great deal of evaluation. Just say: “ I did this and this is what happened and it was a mistake.” Or “I did this and this is what happened and it really worked out very well for me.”

一定要与他们分享你在生命中学到的智慧——你做过的没有用的事情，你做过的真正错误的事情；你做过的真正有影响的事情，非常明智和有效的事情。在这里分享你的经验，但不要添加太多的评价。只需说：“我做了这件事，结果就是这样，这是一个错误。”或者“我做了这件事，结果就是这样，对我来说效果非常好。”

Any insights you have that prove to be correct, share these with your children. They want to know. They are interested in these things. But you must start early. You cannot start speaking to your child when they are an adolescent, for they may not be listening to you anymore. They are trying to listen to other people. They are already differentiating themselves from you.

如果你的任何见解被证明是正确的，请与你的孩子分享。他们想知道。他们对这些事情感兴趣。但你必须尽早开始。你不能在孩子青春期时才开始和他们说话，因为他们可能不再听你说话了。他们正在努力倾听他人。他们已经将他们自己与你区分开来。

Next, we have purpose, but purpose is something that will evolve naturally within the individual if their foundation is built upon Knowledge and if they have gained a growing store of wisdom in their life. Often there are expectations that children should know what their life is going to be, what their life is about at an early age, and this is not helpful, or they may need to learn professional skills, or they need education.

接下来，我们有目的，但如果一个人的基础是建立在内识之上，如果他们在生命中获得了越来越多的智慧，那么目的就会自然地在个人身上发展。人们常常期望孩子们在很小的时候就知道他们的生命将会是什么样的，他们的生命是关于什么的，但这并没有帮助，或者他们可能需要学习的专业技能，或者他们需要教育。

Do not impose the question of purpose too soon. When they are adolescents, say past the age of fourteen and fifteen, then it is important to begin to suggest that they consider what their greatest skills are and what they can do in the world. But this is at the very beginning. It is a question, not an answer. It is a possibility, not a demand. It is something you want them to think about on their own.

不要过早地向孩子提出目的问题。当他们还是青少年时，比如过了十四五岁，那么重要的是开始建议他们考虑他们最擅长的技能是什么以及他们能为这个世界做些什么。但这只是开始。这是一个问题，而不是答案。这是一种可能性，而不是要求。这是你希望他们自己思考的事情。

Many of their conclusions will not be valuable, but that is okay because they are thinking about it. They are leaving the question open, for here the question is more important than the answer. For they will have to learn to consider questions that do not have immediate answers. This will be part of their wisdom training—to live with questions instead of adopting answers.

他们得出的许多结论可能没有什么价值，但没有关系，因为他们正在思考。他们让问题悬而未决，因为在这里问题比答案更重要。因为他们必须学会考虑那些没有直接答案的问题。这将是他们智慧训练的一部分——带着问题生活，而不是采纳答案。

There are many adults who have lots of answers and no wisdom, who do not have the ability, the capability, to live with the question. They are too insecure. They are too oriented to their ideas and their beliefs. They think their beliefs are the truth. They think their ideas are who they are because they never learned of the deeper Mind within them, and they have never built a foundation there.

很多成年人有很多答案，却没有智慧，他们没有能力、没有本事去面对问题。他们太没有安全感了。他们太注重他们的想法和信仰了。他们认为他们的信仰就是真理。他们认为他们的想法就是他们自己，因为他们从未了解过他们内心更深层次的心灵，也从未在内识中建立过基础。

Ultimately, the greatest gift you can give your child regarding purpose is to be living a real purpose yourself, to be demonstrating a purpose yourself. In fact, all four of these things we have mentioned—Knowledge, wisdom, discernment and purpose—are best taught through demonstration. If a child grows up in an environment where his or her parents are engaged in real purposeful work, well, that is worth more than all the words in the world. That says more than words can convey.

归根结底，关于目的，你能给孩子的最大礼物就是你自己活出一种真正的目的，你自己展示这个目的。事实上，我们提到的这四件事——内识、智慧、辨别力和目的——最好通过示范来传授。如果一个孩子在父母从事真正有意义的工作的环境中长大，那么，这比世界上所有的言语都更有价值。这比言语更能表达。

That is why the New Message is focused on the adult and not the young child. But adults have children, and when you can begin to teach what you are learning to your child through demonstration and through encouraging insight and observation, then you can pass on what you are learning to those who are in your care, who are looking to you to learn about Knowledge and wisdom.

正因为如此，新讯息关注的是成年人而非幼儿。但成年人也有孩子，当你能够通过示范、通过鼓励洞察力和观察力，开始向你的孩子传授你所学的知识时，你就可以把你所学到的知识传授给那些受你照顾的人，他们正期待着你去学习内识和智慧。

Now, your child will have to deal with the world and deal with education in the world and deal with the social environment with other children and with other adults. And here there are many problems and many hazards.

现在，你的孩子必须面对这个世界，面对这个世界的教育，面对社会环境，面对其他孩子和其他成年人。这里有很多问题和危险。

First, let Us say that it is important, if possible, that your child not be put in an environment where they have to deal with the opposite sex for quite a while. It is optimum that girls learn with girls and boys learn with boys at the early ages. It is important that young people have the opportunity to gain a sense of themselves and their own deeper inclinations before they are thrown into situations where there are very powerful social forces of conformity.

首先，我们要说的是，如果可能的话，不要让你的孩子长期处于与异性打交道的环境中。最好是女孩在幼年时与女孩一起学习，男孩与男孩一起学习。重要的是，年轻人在被抛入具有强大社会从众力量的环境中之前，有机会了解他们自己和他们自己更深层次的倾向。

Some of this cannot be avoided because that is the world, but it is very important that children have very little exposure to sexuality and to the attempt to have meaningful engagements with children of the opposite sex. At a very young age, friendships will evolve in play and that is fine, but as children enter adolescence, it is important that they gain a sense of themselves before being forced to adapt to the complexities and to the compromises involved in real social environments with other children.

有些事情是无法避免的，因为这就是世界，但重要的是，要让孩子尽量少接触性，并尽量避免与异性孩子进行有意义的交往。在很小的时候，友谊会在玩耍中发展，这很好，但随着孩子进入青春期，重要的是，在被迫适应与其他孩子在现实社会环境中的复杂性和妥协之前，让他们对他们自己有一种认识。

Sexuality prematurely is damaging. It is pre-emptive. It shifts a person’s focus before they have gained a sense of themselves and their direction in life. And it is true that young boys and girls who had not had a lot of social exposure in this way later went on to become real contributors and successful in their endeavors in life.

过早的性行为是有害的。它是先发制人的。它在一个人还没有认识到他们自己和他们的生命方向之前，就转移了他们的注意力。诚然，那些没有以这种方式接触过很多社会的年轻男女后来成为了真正的贡献者，并在他们生命的奋斗中取得了成功。

For a young boy should be cultivating his skills in work. He should be considering his profession. He should be developing practical abilities and not be chasing around girls, and the same is true for girls. They [both] must focus on education, on developing life skills, on building what the New Message calls the Four Pillars of their life: the Pillar of Relationships, the Pillar of Health, the Pillar of Work and the Pillar of Spiritual Development, which— in this way, in this context—is the cultivation of wisdom and the experience of Knowledge.

因为一个年轻男孩应该在工作中培养他的技能。他应该考虑他的职业。他应该发展实践能力，而不是追逐女孩，女孩也是一样。他们都必须专注于教育，发展生命的技能，建立新讯息所称的他们生命的四大支柱：关系支柱、健康支柱、工作支柱和精神发展支柱，从这个意义上讲，在这个背景下，就是智慧的培养和内识的体验。

You want your children to be free thinkers, not simply echoes of the culture. You want children to think for themselves, to make decisions, not simply follow what their friends are telling them or what they think they must believe in order to be socially acceptable.

你希望你的孩子能够自由思考，而不是简单地随波逐流。你希望孩子能够独立思考，做出决定，而不是简单地听从朋友的建议或他们认为必须相信才能被社会接受的事情。

You will have to deal with these forces of compromise, and in many cases, they cannot be overcome. But the greater strength that a child has in thinking for themselves and in reconsidering their ideas and beliefs, the greater advantage they will have in the future to set a true course in their life as they grow.

你必须应对这些妥协的力量，而且在许多情况下，这些力量是无法克服的。但是，孩子独立思考和重新考虑他们的想法和信念的能力越强，他们长大后在生命道路上走得就越有优势。

Again, the value of the mental environment at home, the engagement in learning and seeing and knowing with their parents makes a tremendous difference. If their parents are absent, are not attentive, their children will naturally gravitate to whoever is giving them attention, and that is usually their friends and social environments.

再次强调，家庭的心理环境、与父母一起学习、观察和知道的重要性，会产生一种极大的影响。如果父母不在身边，不关心，孩子自然会倾向于关注那些给予他们关注的人，通常是他们的朋友和社交环境。

Children absorb cultural values and expectations. Even if they rebel against these things, they are still adopting them, for the rebellion itself is a form of conformation. The more you rebel against something, the more you think it is real, the more you have adopted it yourself.

孩子吸收文化价值观和期望。即使他们反抗这些事情，他们仍然在接受它们，因为反抗本身就是一种顺从。你越反抗某件事，你就越认为它是真实的，你就越是接受了它。

So for children to be free thinking, they must have an environment where this is encouraged, which may not be so in their schooling or amongst their friends. Young boys and girls should be learning skills that are valuable. They will need these in the difficult times ahead. They will need to learn how to make things and fix things and practical skills in discernment and relationship—who to be with and who not to be with. So very important.

因此，为了让孩子自由思考，他们必须拥有一个鼓励自由思考的环境，而学校或朋友之间可能并非如此。年轻的男孩和女孩应该学习有价值的技能。在未来的困难时期，他们会需要这些技能。他们需要学习如何制造和修理东西，以及辨别和人际关系的实用技能——与谁在一起，与谁不在一起。这非常重要。

In adolescence, a child can begin to learn the Steps to Knowledge, but only if they are really ready and desire it for themselves, only if they see the advantage that it will give them in their dealings with others and in navigating the complex social environments that they will likely be in.

在青春期，孩子可以开始学习内识进阶，但前提是他们真的准备好了并且渴望得到内识，前提是他们看到了内识在与他人打交道以及在他们可能身处的复杂社会环境中会给他们带来的优势。

Here the parents must relinquish control gradually as your child enters adolescence. Here you must serve as a good example. Here you must exercise restraint and tolerance. Here you must establish firm expectations of your children that must be realistic and achievable and humane. Here your life and your home must be managed in such a way where there is certainty about what is acceptable and what is not. For when there are no boundaries, nothing seems to matter. When there are no consequences, nothing seems to matter. And this leads people to despair.

在这方面，父母必须在孩子进入青春期后逐渐放弃控制。在这里，你必须扮演一个好榜样。在这里，你必须锻炼克制和宽容。在这里，你必须对你的孩子确立坚定的期望，这些期望必须是现实的、可实现的和人道的。在这里，你的生命和你的家庭必须以一种明确什么是可以接受的、什么是不可接受的方式进行管理。因为当没有界限时，似乎什么都不重要。当没有后果时，似乎什么都不重要。这将导致人们陷入绝望。

Boundaries are set in your home according to what the parents have established for themselves as a living standard. A child must grow up within these standards, and the standards must be flexible enough to accommodate the children. But if the parents are unclear, the children will be unclear. If there are no boundaries, the child will feel unsafe and become reckless.

家庭中的界限是根据父母为他们自己设定的生命标准而设定的。孩子必须在这些标准中成长，而这些标准必须足够灵活以适应孩子。但如果父母不清楚，孩子也会不清楚。如果没有界限，孩子会感到不安全，变得鲁莽。

The more certainty you can create within your home, and the more this certainty is reinforced humanely and compassionately, the greater will be the foundation for certainty for your child. They will have experienced what real stability is. They will see that their parents are teaching them consistency, honesty and integrity, and they will adopt these things. If these things are lacking, then your child will feel unsafe and unsupported. They will become reckless, and they will invest themselves in other things, which will be hazardous for them.

你在家里创造的确定性越多，这种确定性越能得到人道和富有同情心的强化，你的孩子的确定性基础就越强。他们将体验到什么是真正的稳定。他们将看到父母在教他们坚持、诚实和完整性，他们将接受这些礼物。如果缺乏这些礼物，那么你的孩子就会感到不安全和得不到支持。他们会变得鲁莽，他们会把他们自己投入到其他事情上，这对他们来说是危险的。

The strength of Knowledge in the parents, the strength of their relationship and shared purpose within that relationship, all are critical here for creating a safe and focused environment for children. Here, as your child enters adolescence, you should show them what you are facing as a parent—the difficulties in making a living, the problems involved in local communities. Children should know about these things, for that is part of their wisdom training.

父母内识的强度、他们关系的强度以及这种关系中的共同目的，所有这些都对于为孩子创造一个安全和专注的环境至关重要。在这里，当你的孩子进入青春期时，你应该向他们展示你作为父母所面临的一切——谋生的困难、当地社区所面临的问题。孩子们应该知道这些事情，因为这是他们智慧训练的一部分。

Unfortunately, schools do not teach the Four Pillars of life, so young people can go all the way through even to higher education and have very little strength or stability in their lives. Teach your children when they are able to learn about the Four Pillars, about stability, about discernment, about the hazards of being with people who are reckless and self-destructive. Provide them a very stable environment to the greatest possible ability. Be consistent in what you teach, in what you demonstrate.

不幸的是，学校不教授生命的四大支柱，因此年轻人即使接受了高等教育，在生命中也几乎没有力量或稳定性。当你的孩子能够学习四大支柱、稳定性、辨别力、以及与鲁莽和自我毁灭的人在一起的危害时，教导他们。尽最大可能为他们提供一个非常稳定的环境。在教导和示范方面要始终如一。

Do not look to your children for them to guide you, for it is your responsibility to guide them. Do not think your children are wiser than you, for it is your responsibility to teach them wisdom. Do not think your child is like your friend, for you have a teacher/student relationship with them. Do not let your children drift, especially when they are very young. Pay attention to them and to their influences.

不要指望你的孩子能指导你，因为你有责任指导他们。不要认为你的孩子比你明智，因为你有责任教他们智慧。不要认为你的孩子就像你的朋友，因为你和他们是师生关系。不要让你的孩子随波逐流，尤其是在他们很小的时候。关注他们以及他们的影响。

Teach them discernment and wisdom. Teach them to listen to their deeper experience. Teach them through demonstration the power of purpose. Teach them to value their life and their future, and how to invest in their life in the future. Teach them about money. Teach them about work. Teach them about sexuality. Teach them what they will need to know to have a focused life, a life without catastrophe.

教导他们辨别力和智慧。教导他们倾听他们更深层次的体验。通过示范教他们目的的力量。教他们珍惜他们的生命和未来，以及如何投资未来的生命。教他们关于金钱的知识。教他们关于工作的知识。教他们关于性的知识。教他们如何过上专注的生命，过上没有灾难的生命。

To teach these things, you yourself must know them and must demonstrate them. Here your studenthood now has greater significance. Here you are learning not just for yourself, but for your children. Here your strength in Knowledge is not only for your edification; it is for the well-being and for the future of your children. Here the development of your own wisdom and your own wisdom training becomes part of the resource that your children can draw upon.

要教授这些事情，你自己必须知道它们，必须示范它们。在这里，你的学生身份现在具有更大的意义。在这里，你不仅是为了你自己而学习，也是为了你的孩子。在这里，你在内识上的力量不仅是为了你自己的教化；它是为了你孩子的福祉和未来。在这里，你自己智慧的发展和你自己智慧的训练成为你的孩子可以借鉴的资源的一部分。

Therefore, for parents, they must become students of Knowledge themselves. They must become students of wisdom themselves. They must become students of discernment, students of purpose.

因此，对于父母来说，他们自己必须成为内识的学生。他们自己必须成为智慧的学生。他们必须成为辨别力的学生、目的的学生。

Here what the New Message reveals is of the greatest significance, and it is so very relevant to the times in which you live. For it is given to prepare you to live fully in the moment and to prepare for a future that will be unlike the past. And here you are teaching your children to live fully in the moment and to prepare for a future that will be unlike the past.

在这里，新讯息所揭示的内容意义重大，它与你生活的时代息息相关。因为它被赋予来让你做好充分活在当下的准备，为不同于过去的未来做好准备。而在这里，你正在教导你的孩子充分活在当下，为不同于过去的未来做好准备。

You are learning not just for yourself now, but for others. And your success and failure as a student of Knowledge will have great bearing on the outcome for your children, and on other people that you influence, and other people that know you as well.

你现在学习不只是为了你自己，也是为了其他人。你作为内识学生的成功与失败将对你的孩子、受你影响的其他人以及其他知道你的人产生重大影响。

With children, you have to become a teacher. To be a good teacher, a strong teacher, you must be a strong student. The New Message will teach you how to be a strong student. And being a strong student will teach you how to be a good teacher.

有了孩子，你就必须成为一名老师。要成为一名好的老师、一名优秀的老师，你必须成为一名优秀的学生。新讯息将教你如何成为一名优秀的学生。而成为一名优秀的学生将教你如何成为一名好的老师。

Your children are your students. You cannot escape this. At a certain point, they will not want to learn from you very much. Perhaps from adolescence to early adulthood, they will want to listen to others, but you are their primary teacher.

你的孩子是你的学生。你无法逃避这一点。在某个时候，他们不会太想向你学习。也许从青春期到成年早期，他们会想听别人说话，但你是他们的主要老师。

If you are going to have children, you must accept this responsibility. It is invaluable and will bless your life if you can accept this responsibility and engage with it effectively.

如果你要生孩子，你必须承担这个责任。如果你能承担这个责任并有效地承担它，这将是无价的，并将祝福你的生命。

What the New Message reveals to you will be part of your gift to your children, but it must be a gift that they can experience, not something they believe in. For experience is permanent, and belief is like the wind.

新讯息向你揭示的内容将成为你赠予孩子礼物的一部分，但这必须是他们能够体验的礼物，而不是他们所相信的事情。因为体验是持久的，而信仰就像风一样。