The Pillar of Relationships
As received by Marshall Vian Summers on October 11, 1994 in Boulder, Colorado
1994 年 10 月 11 日，在科罗拉多州博尔德(Boulder, Colorado)，向上帝的信使马歇尔・维安・萨默斯(Marshall Vian Summers)揭示
The first pillar of life to discuss is the pillar of relationships. This is a very great area for development, but it is also an area that is fraught with tremendous misconceptions, fantasies and falsehoods. It is a dangerous area because Knowledge is not yet strong enough in people for relationships to be understood correctly and for grave and serious errors to be avoided.
要讨论的第一个生命支柱是关系支柱。这是一个非常伟大的发展领域，但它也是一个充满极大误解、幻想和谎言的领域。它是一个危险的领域，因为人们的内识还不够强大，不足以正确理解关系，从而避免严重的错误和错误的判断。
People give themselves great license to experiment with relationships before they have a clear understanding of what they are developing in life. Some people treat intimacy as if it were some kind of frolic or some kind of pastime. It is not taken by many people to be a serious engagement with serious consequences.
人们在还没有清楚地认识到他们自己的生命发展方向之前，就给自己很大的自由去尝试各种关系。有些人把亲密关系当作一种嬉戏或消遣。许多人并不认为这是一种认真的交往，会带来严重的后果。
It is important to clarify at the outset that the quality of relationships that you will have is very much dependent upon your own development. What you will look for in others, what you will respond to, what you will value and what you will require of yourself and others in a relationship context will change as you develop. Many of the relationships that people initiate out of desire, passion or need are premature because it is important to get your bearings in life before you engage yourself or commit yourself to others.
首先要明确的是，关系的质量在很大程度上取决于你自身的发展。在人际关系中，你会在他人身上寻找什么，你会对什么做出回应，你会重视什么，你会对你自己和他人提出什么要求，这些都会随着你的发展而改变。许多人出于欲望、激情或需要而建立的关系都是不成熟的，因为在你投入或承诺给他人之前，先确定你自己的生命定位是很重要的。
The development of the person is an important achievement within the first stage of life, and yet in your society the social structure is not established in order for people to have mature relationships at a young age. Rather, there is a prolonged adolescence where people experiment and play with each other. As a result, there is a great deal of suffering and loss of energy and vitality in people in the world today.
个人的发展是生命第一阶段的重要成就，然而在你们的社会中，社会结构的建立并不是为了让人们在年轻时就拥有成熟的人际关系。相反，人们有一段漫长的青春期，在这个时期，人们相互尝试，相互玩耍。结果，当今世界人们遭受着巨大的痛苦，精力和活力也丧失殆尽。
We consider your relationships with others, primarily your intimate relationships, to be of the utmost importance. They should never be taken lightly or taken for granted, and your decisions in this regard are very consequential, for your future will either be in reaping the rewards of your right decisions or in repairing the damage of your wrong decisions. And there is a great deal of damage.
我们认为你与他人的关系，尤其是你的亲密关系，至关重要。你永远不应该轻视它们或视其为理所当然，你在这方面的决定非常重要，因为你的未来要么是收获你正确决定的回报，要么是修复你错误决定造成的损害。而损害是巨大的。
At the outset, let us emphasize that it is important to develop your relationship with Knowledge first and foremost. Of course, your relationship with Knowledge will be developed throughout your life, and we do not expect you to become advanced in this regard before you engage with others. However, it is important to gain at least a beginning contact with the great intelligence within you, for it will help you and teach you how to experience the reality of others and how to determine if participation with them is right for you. Its intelligence far exceeds your ideas, your beliefs, your attractions and your anxieties. Knowledge is not swayed by your wishes. It is not confused by your confusion. It is not dominated by your desires. And it is not intimidated by your anxieties. It knows whom you must meet in life and what you must do with them. It is completely clear in this regard, and its regard for you is so great that it would not tamper with your life by having you experiment with people in order to live out your ideas or your fantasies.
首先，让我们强调，重要的是首先发展你与内识的关系。当然，你和内识的关系将贯穿你的一生，我们并不期望你在与他人互动之前在这方面取得进步。然而，至少与你内在的伟大智能获得初步接触是很重要的，因为它将帮助你并教你如何体验他人的现实，以及如何确定与他们互动是否适合你。它的智能远远超越你的想法、你的信仰、你的吸引力和你的焦虑。内识不会被你的愿望所左右。它不会被你的困惑所困扰。它不会被你的欲望所支配。它不会被你的焦虑所吓倒。它知道你在生命中必须遇见谁，以及你必须如何对待他们。在这方面它是完全清晰的，它对你的尊重是如此之大，以至于它不会为了实现你的想法或你的幻想而让你与人们试验，从而篡改你的生命。
Your first relationship, then, is your relationship with Knowledge. Many people think that your first relationship is with yourself, but this statement is either true or false depending on what you believe yourself to be. Becoming more fully acquainted with your personality, your desires, your interests, your idiosyncrasies, your wishes and your fears does not constitute a relationship with your True Self. There is value to be derived from taking inventory of these things, but to gain a greater foundation within you is another endeavor altogether.
那么，你的第一个关系就是你与内识的关系。许多人认为你的第一个关系就是与你自己的关系，但这种说法要么正确，要么错误，这取决于你相信你自己是什么。更充分地了解你的人格、你的渴望、你的兴趣、你的怪癖、你的愿望和你的恐惧，并不构成与你真正自我的关系。盘点这些事情会带来价值，但要获得你内在的更伟大的基础则完全是另一回事。
Before you engage with another in a marriage, in a committed relationship or in any relationship that will commit your time and energy in life, it is essential that you gain a real foundation within yourself. Do not commit your life until you are committed to your life. Do not commit your resources until you are committed to your resources. Get a sense of where you are going before you try to go somewhere with anyone else. If your sense of direction is strong and you can stay with it patiently, then you will gain momentum. And after you have traveled awhile, you will have a sense that your life has a unique direction and that you are not simply wandering aimlessly, with no end in sight.
在你与他人结婚、建立承诺关系或建立任何将投入你的时间和精力的关系之前，你必须在你自己内心获得一个真正的基础。在你承诺你的生命之前，不要承诺你的生命。在你承诺你的资源之前，不要承诺你的资源。在你尝试与他人一起去某个地方之前，先了解你要去哪里。如果你的方向感很强，并且你能耐心地坚持下去，那么你将获得动力。在你旅行一段时间之后，你将感觉到你的生命有一个独特的方向，你并不是漫无目的地游荡，看不到尽头。
There are times in life, particularly right before the great thresholds, when you can experience tremendous confusion. Here you can feel that you are wandering in the desert, and you will feel lost temporarily. But in reality, these experiences are temporary. To find the real direction of your life, you must prepare in The Way of Knowledge. Our Teaching for you here will be part of the resource that you can call upon and use on an ongoing basis.
在生命中，尤其是在跨越伟大门槛之前，总会有一些时刻，你会感到无比的迷茫。在这些时刻，你会觉得自己在沙漠中徘徊，会暂时感到迷失。但在现实中，这些经历是暂时的。要找到你生命的真正方向，你必须在内识之路中做好准备。我们在这里为你提供的教导将成为你可以不断调用和使用的资源的一部分。
Get a sense for what is essential for your life, not simply what is on your wish list or your fear list, but what is essential. Is there something in your life that you must do before you die? You must send this question deep within you and do not expect an immediate answer. You must live with this question because its answer is an experience. You must experience the answer to this question. Otherwise, the answer is just another idea amongst millions of ideas that are floating around in your mind. You already have so many answers, and they have only added to the burden of your confusion.
知道内识对你的生命至关重要，而不仅仅是你的愿望清单或恐惧清单上的内容，而是必不可少的内识。你生命中是否有一些事情你必须在死前完成？你必须将这个问题深深地发自内心，不要期待立刻得到答案。你必须带着这个问题生活，因为它的答案是一种经历。你必须体验这个问题的答案。否则，答案只是你心灵中浮现的数百万个想法中的一个想法。你已经有了很多答案，它们只会加重你的困惑。
Come to terms with your deepest inclinations. Come to terms with what you know to be essential within you. You know some things right now. There is much that you do not know, but you know enough to begin.
直面你内心最深处的倾向。直面你内心中你知道至关重要的内识。你现在已经知道了一些事情。尽管仍有许多未知，但你知道的已经足够开始了。
Knowledge will not support a wrong decision in a relationship, and Knowledge will not go with you into that relationship. If you commit yourself prematurely, you pull yourself away from Knowledge. You can still come back to Knowledge, but it will not go along with you. It will become mute and silent, patiently waiting once again while you live out another long and perilous error in life.
内识不会支持一段关系中的错误决定，内识也不会陪你进入这段关系。如果你过早地承诺，你就会把你自己从内识中拉出来。你仍然可以回到内识身边，但它不会陪你一起走。它会变得沉默寡言，耐心地再一次等待，而你将度过人生中又一个漫长而危险的错误。
Here you must be willing to wait until things become clear. There are many attractions, and people have greater access to each other now. This is both an asset and a great liability. It is true that you are freer to find those people that you will need in your life. But it is also true that you will be exposed to many other people who do not have this mission and purpose, who can pull you aside, who can fill your life, and who can draw you away from the true direction of your existence here. How true it is that you will feel like you are a stranger unto yourself by being involved in relationships of this kind, and the further you go in such a relationship, the stranger you will feel to yourself. Finally, at one point you will look at your life and say, “This isn’t the life that is true for me.” And then you are faced with backtracking and undoing all that has been done.
在这里，你必须愿意等待，直到事情变得明朗。现在有许多吸引人的地方，人们彼此之间有更多的接触。这既是一笔资产，也是一笔巨大的负担。确实，你可以更自由地找到你生命中需要的人。但同样真实的是，你会接触到许多其他没有这个使命和目的的人，他们会把你拉到一边，他们会填满你的生命，他们会把你从你在这里存在的真正方向拉走。参与这种关系确实会让你觉得你自己是个陌生人，而且你在这种关系中走得越远，你对你自己的感觉就越陌生。最后，在某一时刻，你会审视你的生命，并说：“这不是我真正的生命。”然后，你就面临着回溯和撤销所有已经完成的事情。
Much of the work that people do on their relationships is repair because they made poor decisions at the outset. Repair is different from development. People think that repair is development, but it is quite different. In repair, you are simply getting back to a functioning level. In development, you are going to a higher functioning level. In repair, you are digging your way out of a deep pit in the ground, trying to get back to the surface. In development, you are raising yourself above that very same surface. Repair takes a great deal of time. It is different from development.
人们在人际关系上所做的大部分工作都是修复，因为他们一开始就做出了错误的决定。修复不同于发展。人们认为修复就是发展，但两者完全不同。在修复中，你只是回到正常运作的水平。在发展中，你要进入更高的运作水平。在修复中，你要从地底的一个深坑里挖出一条路来，试图回到地面上。在发展中，你要把你自己提升到同一表面之上。修复需要大量时间。它不同于发展。
If you begin building your foundation with your relationship with Knowledge and patiently follow Knowledge and take the steps to Knowledge, you will return to what is essential in your life. It is like a homecoming within you, but it does not happen all at once. It is slow and incremental, but each increment gives you the basis for discernment in relationships. Here you can know who to be with because you know who you are and what you are doing. Here you can recognize incompatibilities at the outset and not simply be swayed or overtaken by fantasy or desire for another. Here you can hold yourself back because you have learned to hold yourself back. Here you take a more careful approach by learning about the other person’s nature and reality and get a sense of the other’s direction in life before you become intimate with them or commit your resources to them.
如果你开始用你与内识的关系建立你的基础，并耐心地追随内识，开展内识的进阶，你就会回归你生命中最重要的关系。它就像你内心的一次归家，但它不会一下子发生。它是缓慢而渐进的，但每一次渐进都会为你在关系中提供辨别的基础。在这里，你可以知道该和谁在一起，因为你知道你是谁，你在做什么。在这里，你可以在一开始就认识到不相容性，而不是简单地被幻想或对他人的渴望所左右或控制。在这里，你可以克制你自己，因为你已经学会了克制你自己。在这里，你采取一种更谨慎的方法，通过了解对方的自然和现实，在与他们变得亲密或将你的资源投入到他们身上之前，先了解对方的生命方向。
The more developed you are in The Way of Knowledge and the greater foundation you have in The Way of Knowledge, the more complete your relationships with others will be and the clearer and greater the criteria you will have to discern who to be with and how to be with them. This is a natural product of advancement in The Way of Knowledge, and this is an essential part of living The Way. Yet if Knowledge cannot be brought into your relationships and into your decisions regarding relationships, then Knowledge remains only a potential within you.
你在内识之路上发展得越快，你在内识之路上的基础就越牢固，你与他人的关系就会越完整，你辨别与谁相处以及如何相处的标准就会越清晰、越牢固。这是内识之路进步的自然产物，也是生活在内识之路的必要部分。然而，如果不能将内识带入你的关系中，带入你对关系的决定中，那么内识就只能是你内心的一种潜能。
The area of relationships is the most difficult for many people to experience clarity and certainty in because it is an area that is fraught with so much fantasy. Here people try to offset their sense of insecurity by securing partnerships with others. As a result, they form relationships based upon weakness and not upon strength. These are relationships based upon ideas rather than upon real experience. They are relationships about having fantasies together as opposed to doing something important together in the world.
关系的领域对许多人来说是最难体验到清晰和确定性的，因为这是一个充满幻想的领域。在这里，人们试图通过与他人建立伙伴关系来抵消他们的不安全感。结果，他们建立的关系是基于弱点而不是力量。这些关系是基于想法而不是真实体验。它们是一起拥有幻想而不是一起在世界上做一些重要事情的关系。
As you advance in The Way of Knowledge, you will come to the understanding that it is what you can do with people that is the important thing. Can you participate together? Can you accomplish things together? Can you share a life together? Can you work together? Are you free and encouraged to return to Knowledge in the presence of that person? Or are you afraid, afraid that you will find out something you do not want to hear or to know? Do you welcome the truth or do you live in trepidation of the truth? Is the truth your friend in this relationship or does it threaten what you have established together?
当你在内识之路上前进时，你将理解到，你能和人们一起做什么才是最重要的。你们能一起参与吗？你们能一起完成事情吗？你们能一起分享生命吗？你们能一起工作吗？在那个人面前，你是否自由并受到鼓励回归内识？或者你害怕，害怕你会发现一些你不想听到或知道的事情？你欢迎真理还是生活在对真理的恐惧中？在这段关系中，真理是你的朋友还是它威胁着你们共同建立的事情？
Build your foundation and your relationship with Knowledge. As you take each step in doing this and patiently participate in this great process, the likelihood of your making a serious mistake lessens. Eventually, you will not allow yourself to make a mistake, regardless of the attraction or the seeming rewards or benefits. While others give their lives away for love or money, you will not be able to do either.
建立你的基础和你与内识的关系。当你迈出每一步并耐心地参与这个伟大的过程时，你犯下严重错误的可能性就会降低。最终，你将不会允许你自己犯错，无论它有多吸引人，或表面上有多么丰厚的回报或好处。当其他人为了爱或金钱而交出生命时，你却无法做到这两点。
Perhaps you are not yet at this state, but you can attain this state. You must first build your foundation for it. You must be great on the inside. By great, we mean empty and open, capable of facing and recognizing the truth in a wide range of situations, capable of discerning others without condemnation, capable of discerning direction in another’s life and your own direction as well.
也许你还没有达到这种境界，但你可以达到这种境界。你必须先为它打下基础。你的内心必须是伟大的。所谓伟大，我们的意思是空旷和开放，能够在各种情况下面对真理和认识真理，能够不带任何谴责地辨别他人，能够辨别他人生命的方向，也能够辨别你自身的生命方向。
Knowledge will not give you what you want, but it will give you what you need and what you long for. Wants and wishes are temporary things—so changeable, so influenced by the world. The flames of your passions and desires can burn hot or cold, depending on what is stimulating you and how secure you feel within yourself. Knowledge is not governed by such emotions, and you cannot make it enter into any relationship that you may want. For if you choose without Knowledge, Knowledge will not follow you. You may believe fervently that you are doing the right thing. You may even believe fervently that you are making the right decision. But if Knowledge does not go with you, you have no stability and no certainty in your endeavor.
内识不会给你你想要的东西，但它会给你你需要的东西和你渴望的东西。欲望和愿望是暂时的——如此易变，如此受世界影响。你的激情和欲望之火可以燃烧得热烈或冷淡，这取决于什么在刺激你，以及你内心有多安全。内识不受这些情绪的支配，你无法让它进入你可能想要的任何关系。因为如果你没有内识就做出选择，内识就不会跟随你。你可能热切地相信你正在做正确的事情。你甚至可能热切地相信你正在做出正确的决定。但如果内识不与你同行，你的努力就没有稳定性和确定性。
As you can see, you must have great sobriety concerning your involvement with others. You only have so much time and energy to be in the world. Your mental and physical resources are limited and valuable. Where they are placed and what they are given to will determine the outcome of your life.
正如你所见，你必须非常清醒地对待与他人的交往。你在这个世界上的时间和精力是有限的。你的心理和生理资源是有限和宝贵的。这些资源放置在哪里，用于何处，将决定你的生命结果。
Come to terms with what you know. Bring yourself to your deeper inclinations, not only to recognize them but to see where they lead you and whom they involve you with and what they teach you along the way. Be patient. Do not let your emotions drive you here and drive you there, for the workings of the heart are beyond the emotions that you feel day to day and moment to moment. They represent the great undercurrent. Like the great undercurrents that move the waters of the oceans of this world, they move the direction of your life. Yet like the great undercurrents of the oceans, they are not seen or recognized from the surface. If you live at the surface of your mind, you will be swayed by this thought and that thought and the thoughts of others. You will be governed by the mental environment in which you live.
接受你所知道的内识。将你自己带入更深层次的倾向中，不仅要认识到它们，而且要去看它们会把你引向何方，它们会让你和谁在一起，以及它们在这一路上会教给你什么。要有耐心。不要让你的情绪驱使你到这里或那里，因为内心的运作超越了你每天和每时每刻所感受到的情绪。它们代表着巨大的暗流。就像推动这个世界海洋的海水的巨大暗流一样，它们推动着你生命的方向。然而就像海洋的巨大暗流一样，它们无法从表面被看到或认知。如果你生活在你心灵的表面，你将被这个思想、那个思想和他人的思想所左右。你将会被你所处的心理环境所支配。
Therefore, come to your relationship with Knowledge first and foremost. This is your foundation. This is the foundation for any relationship that you establish with others. This will be the foundation for real devotion, real compatibility and real union. Build this foundation, for this is one of the pillars of your life. Neglect here will disable you from establishing anything else in the other pillars of your life. Wrong decisions in relationships have disabled and disarmed many a promising person in the world. Many have lost their way and many have lost their chance in life as a result of making decisions here without Knowledge. That is why we must speak of this as the first pillar. This pillar is not more important than the other pillars, but without this pillar the others cannot come into being and any advancement within them will not be secure.
因此，首先要建立你与内识的关系。这是你的基础。这是你和他人建立任何关系的基础。这将是真正的奉献、真正的兼容性和真正的团结的基础。建立这个基础，因为这是你生命的支柱之一。忽视这一点将使你无法在生命的其他支柱中建立任何其他东西。关系中的错误决定使世界上许多有前途的人丧失了能力和武装。许多人迷失了方向，许多人失去了生命中的机会，这是因为他们在没有内识的情况下做出了决定。正因为如此，我们必须把它称为第一个支柱。这个支柱并不比其他支柱更重要，但是没有这个支柱，其他支柱就无法形成，它们中的任何进步都将是不牢固的。
You do not need many people in the world. You only need a few who know you, respect you and have a sense for your greater purpose and greater identity. They know these things because they are known, not because you have convinced them or impressed them with your personality or ideas. Great relationships are known. Knowledge is the stimulating factor here. Knowledge is the foundation. If you have not experienced Knowledge sufficiently, you will not be able to experience this motivation or its reality as your foundation.
你不需要世界上很多人。你只需要少数人知道你、尊重你并知道你的更伟大目的和更伟大身份。他们知道这些事情是因为它们已经被知道，而非因为你用你的人格或想法说服了他们或给他们留下了深刻印象。伟大的关系是已知的。内识是这里的刺激因素。内识是基础。如果你没有充分体验内识，你将无法体验到这种动机或它的现实作为你的基础。
Become a student of Knowledge and you will see through what still confuses everyone around you, and you will not be swayed or fooled by the great attractions that people exert upon one another. Words cannot describe the waste that has occurred and that occurs every moment and every day through misappropriation in relationships. Do not console yourself by thinking that all of your relationships were necessary. It is true that you can use your experience to develop Wisdom, and we most certainly encourage this, but never think that it was your destiny to commit those mistakes. If you think like this, you lose your sense of your ability and your responsibility.
成为一名内识的学生，你将看透那些仍然让你周围的人感到困惑的事情，你将不会被人们彼此施加的巨大吸引力所左右或愚弄。语言无法描述由于关系中的滥用而发生的浪费，以及每时每刻发生的浪费。不要安慰你自己，认为你所有的人际关系都是必要的。确实，你可以使用你的经验来发展智慧，我们当然鼓励这样做，但永远不要认为犯下这些错误是你的天命。如果你这样想，你就会失去对你能力和责任的感觉。
The power of decision is given to you. Yet what motivates your decision is what is crucial. You begin with what you tell yourself. Whatever you tell others is based on what you tell yourself. If what you tell yourself is untrue, then what you tell others will be untrue. And though you will think that you are being honest because you are being consistent, it will be very difficult for you to unravel the layers of deception that you have succumbed to.
决策的权力是赋予你的。然而，决定背后的动机才是关键。你从你告诉你自己的话开始。你告诉他人的一切，都是基于你告诉你自己的话。如果你告诉你自己的话是不真实的，那么你告诉他人的话也将是不真实的。尽管你会认为你是诚实的，因为你始终如一，但你将会发现，要揭开你所陷入的层层欺骗，将是非常困难的。
You have been sent into the world to serve a specific part in the world’s evolution and development. Others from your Spiritual Family have been sent here too. They are destined to meet you and to help you in your specific endeavors. They will confirm Knowledge within you, and they will help restore to you the memory of your Ancient Home and the great purpose that you serve and the nature of your unique service. Yet how will you find these certain people amongst the many other attractive and wonderful people you will meet in life? How will you know them? Will you be free to participate with them? Will you be ready for them? Will you have the capacity to experience and to accept what their emergence into your life really means? Will you welcome them or will you fear them? Will you be free to join them or will you have already committed yourself elsewhere? These are very important questions.
你被派到这个世界，在世界的进化和发展中服务于一个特定的部分。你精神家庭中的其他人员也被派到这里。他们注定会与你相遇，并帮助你完成你的特定事业。他们将确认你内在的内识，他们将帮助你恢复你古老家园的记忆，以及你所服务的伟大目的和你独特服务的自然。然而，在你生命中遇到的许多其他有吸引力和美妙的人中，你将如何找到这些人？你将如何知道他们？你将自由地与他们参与吗？你将为他们做好准备吗？你将有能力体验和接受他们进入你生命的真正意义吗？你会欢迎他们还是会害怕他们？你将自由地加入他们还是你已经把你自己承诺到了别处？这些都是非常重要的问题。
Building the pillar of relationship is building your essential relationships in life. These essential relationships are quite important. They represent your stability. They represent your resource for Wisdom. And they represent your real assets in life. To develop the pillar of relationship means to recognize, to discern and to be prepared to participate in the essential relationships that are meant for you. This requires forbearance, for you will be tempted by many others. Some of them will be wonderful people, and you will resonate with them. But resonance with another is not relationship with another, and resonance with another is not destiny with another.
建立关系支柱就是建立你生命中必不可少的关系。这些必不可少的关系相当重要。它们代表着你的稳定。它们代表着你的智慧资源。它们代表着你生命中的真正资产。发展关系支柱意味着去认知、去辨别并准备好参与那些注定属于你的必不可少的关系。这需要忍耐，因为你将被许多人诱惑。他们中的一些人将是很棒的人，你将与他们产生共鸣。但与他人的共鸣并非与他人的关系，与他人的共鸣并非与他人的天命。
A moment of recognition, even on a very spiritual level, does not confirm or initiate a genuine relationship. How many people have learned this painfully and at great expense? If you look about you, you will see people making all manner of mistakes and committing themselves to all manner of things, with great justification. Be observant but do not condemn anyone, for everyone’s successes and failures can serve you, can teach you and can remind you of what is real and what is not in your life. Here even those who have committed serious mistakes and grievous errors have a great deal to offer you in learning and living The Way of Knowledge.
哪怕只是在精神层面上的片刻认知，也无法确认或开启一段真正的关系。有多少人付出了巨大的代价，痛苦地学会了这一点？如果你环顾四周，你会看到人们犯着各种各样的错误，并把他们自己投入到各种各样的事情中，而这一切都是情有可原的。要善于观察，但不要谴责任何人，因为每个人的成功和失败都可以为你服务，可以教你，可以提醒你生命中什么是真实的，什么不是真实的。在这里，即使是那些犯过严重错误和严重失误的人，在学习和实践内识之路方面也能为你提供很多帮助。
Without your essential relationships, you cannot function at a higher level. You need relationships even to survive in this world. At a fundamental level, you need others in every aspect of your life to support and assist you—physically, emotionally, psychologically and even spiritually. However, to build a foundation for a greater life, to live a life of Knowledge and to realize your greater purpose for being in the world requires a new kind of relationship for you. This relationship will seem new because it is so different from how you have experienced being with people in the past. Yet it will seem so natural and so right, and it will not be driven by passion, fantasy or personal initiative. You will feel at home with this person. Though your personalities may have difficulties and your orientations may be different, you will feel at home with them nonetheless because they have come from your Spiritual Family—that small learning group of which you are a part. They are a part of your team that exists beyond this world, some of whom are in the world today and looking for you, even now.
没有你必不可少的关系，你就无法在一种更高的层面上运作。即使是在这个世界上生存，你也需要人际关系。从根本上讲，你在生命的方方面面都需要他人的支持和帮助——物质上、情感上、心理上甚至精神上。然而，要为更伟大的生命奠定基础，要过一种内识的生活，要实现你身处世界的更伟大目的，你需要一种新的关系。这种关系看起来是新的，因为它与你过去与人相处的经历截然不同。它看起来是如此自然，如此正确，它不会被激情、幻想或个人主动性所驱使。和这个人在一起你会感到自在。尽管你们的人格可能会有困难，你们的取向可能不同，但无论如何，你们都会感到自在，因为他们来自你的精神家庭——你是其中一员的小型学习小组。他们是存在于这个世界之外的你小组的一部分，其中一些人今天就在这个世界上，甚至现在就在寻找你。
Build real relationships. Begin with your relationship with Knowledge and develop character by developing patience, forbearance, restraint, objectivity, compassion, the ability to observe others and the ability to have your life be undefined. This builds character, and with this you gain a greater capacity for experience. This is Wisdom. In order for you to be a vehicle for Knowledge in life—to be an inspiration to others and to give your life wholeheartedly—you must have this foundation and you must have your essential relationships.
建立真正的关系。从你和内识的关系开始，通过发展耐心、忍耐、克制、客观、同情、观察他人的能力以及让你的生命不受限制的能力来发展品格。这建立了品格，由此你获得了更伟大的体验能力。这就是智慧。为了让你在生命中成为内识的载体——激励他人并全心全意地奉献你的生命——你必须拥有这个基础，你必须拥有你必不可少的关系。
Here you realize that what the world teaches about relationships and what life teaches about relationships are very different. The world teaches people to be independent and self-determining. It teaches you not to rely on others. People make the mistake of thinking that interdependence is the same as dependence. In the world, independence is valued above all things. Here you should be all things unto yourself, complete. Needing anyone is seen as a weakness and a liability, a sign that you have not achieved the premium state of personal independence.
在这里，你会意识到世界教给你的关系和生命教给你的关系是截然不同的。世界教导人们要独立和自决。它教导你不要依赖他人。人们错误地认为相互依赖和依赖是一样的。在这个世界上，独立被看得高于一切。在这里，你应该是你自己的一切，是完整的。需要任何人被视为一种弱点和负担，是你还没有达到个人独立的高级境界的标志。
However, this is not what life teaches about relationships. Look at the natural world. Everything is interdependent. Everything relies on everything else. Everything has a role to play in the grand scheme of life. There is a balance. The plants and the animals, which are so demeaned by humankind as being without intelligence or ingenuity, nonetheless experience the great benefit of inclusion in life.
然而，这并不是生命对关系的教导。看看自然界。一切都是相互依存的。一切都依赖于其他一切。万物在生命的大计划中都有自己的角色。存在着一种平衡。植物和动物被人类贬低得一无是处，认为它们没有智慧或独创性，但它们却体验到了融入生命的伟大益处。
And while people judge, speculate, differentiate, criticize and evaluate, they are left out of the great banquet of life. Life passes them by, and they do not experience it. They are dead to it. They cannot hear it. They cannot see it. They cannot feel it. And Knowledge within them becomes such a distant voice that they can no longer hear it. All they hear is the persuasions of their minds and the persuasions of other minds. Their relationships are based upon ideas and images. They cannot feel the reality of another. They cannot determine the direction of another’s life. They do not know another. And their relationships are for expediencies and for conveniences. Look about the world. Look at your own past and you will see how manifest this is here and how cruel this is and how disheartening it can seem.
当人们评判、推测、区分、批评和评价时，他们被排除在了生命的盛宴之外。生命从他们身边经过，他们没有体验到生命。他们对生命是麻木的。他们听不到它。他们看不到它。他们感觉不到它。他们内在的内识变成了如此遥远的声音，以至于他们再也听不到它。他们所听到的只是他们心灵的劝说和他人心灵的劝说。他们的关系基于想法和形象。他们无法感受到另一个人的现实。他们无法决定另一个人生命的方向。他们不知道另一个人。他们的关系是为了权宜之计和便利。看看这个世界。看看你自己的过去，你将看到这在这里有多么明显，有多么残酷，有多么令人沮丧。
Yet as you look at the world, remember that Knowledge is in the world though it goes unheeded and unrecognized, though its reality is not understood, though people rarely feel it and when they do, they cannot understand it or respond to it effectively. Remember, Knowledge is with them and Knowledge is with you. Become strong with Knowledge. Become a person of Knowledge. Develop your relationship with Knowledge and develop relationships with others who support this relationship with Knowledge, for these are your first criteria.
然而当你看向世界时，记住内识就在世界上，尽管它被忽视并未被认出，尽管它的现实未被理解，尽管人们很少感受到它，即使感受到，他们也无法理解它或有效回应它。记住，内识与他们同在，内识与你同在。让内识强大起来。成为一个拥有内识的人。发展你与内识的关系，发展与支持这种与内识的关系的其他人的关系，因为这些是你的首要标准。
As we said, building a foundation for the second great stage of your life gives you freedom from the first stage of your life. This gives you the criteria for who to be with and how to participate with them, for as you become more involved in building this foundation, you will naturally want to be with others who can help you do this. For it is what you do together that determines the nature and purpose of relationship. That is why human romance is such an empty promise, for if you cannot do anything together, you have no basis for being together. The initial attraction turns cold and dark, and the desire and the embellished feelings turn ashen and become bitter and resentful.
正如我们所说，为生命的第二个重要阶段打下基础，可以让你摆脱生命的第一个阶段。这为你提供了与谁在一起以及如何参与其中的标准，因为随着你越来越投入到打下这个基础的过程中，你自然会想要与能够帮助你做到这一点的人在一起。因为你们一起做的事情决定了关系的性质和目的。这就是为什么人类的浪漫只是一个空洞的承诺，因为如果你们不能一起做任何事，你们就没有在一起的基础。最初的吸引力会变得冰冷而黑暗，而那些欲望和被美化的情感最终会变得灰暗，变得苦涩而充满怨恨。
There is such a great contrast between a life of Knowledge—a life of the heart—and a life of the mind, or life at the surface of the mind. You will learn to see this contrast. It will be so evident. You will see it everywhere. And you will be thankful you can see it, even though its demonstration can be very upsetting. Finally you can see! Finally you can know! Finally your eyes are clear! Finally you are no longer intoxicated by people, by images or by ideas. Your mind becomes free and open to think, to rethink, to renew itself, to adapt itself and to refocus itself. What a great freedom this is!
内识的生命——一种内心的生命——与心灵的生命或心灵表面的生命之间存在着如此巨大的反差。你将学会看到这种反差。它将是如此明显。你将在任何地方看到它。你会感谢你能够看到它，即使它的表现可能非常令人不安。终于你可以看见！终于你可以知道！终于你的眼睛清晰了！终于你不再被人、形象或想法所迷惑。你的心灵变得自由而开放，可以思考、重新思考、自我更新、自我适应并重新聚焦。这是多么伟大的自由啊！
Building your foundation, then, gives you the criteria for who to be with and how to be with them. Your first and primary relationship is with Knowledge. Can your relationships with others support this? Can they support the recognition of truth and the admission of truth? Can they support your commitment to truth? Who has the courage and the determination to do this save those who have a desire for Knowledge and who are drawn to it and who have drawn it to themselves as well? You will find that all other relationships will become tasteless and meaningless, and this will convince you over time not to reinvest yourself in them.
因此，建立你的基础会为你提供与谁相处以及如何与他们相处的标准。你的第一个和主要的关系是与内识。你与他人的关系能支持这一点吗？它们能支持对真理的认知和接纳吗？它们能支持你对真理的承诺吗？除了那些渴望内识、被内识吸引并且已经将其吸引到他们自己身上的人，谁有勇气和决心做到这一点？你会发现所有其他关系都会变得索然无味、毫无意义，随着时间的推移，这将说服你不要再将你自己投入到它们之中。
You cannot find Knowledge alone. You need others to help you. Therefore, those with whom you engage primarily must be people who can help you do this. You need to learn through contrast. You need to learn through other people’s experiences and other people’s observations. The world is too confusing and too dominating, both in its physical and its mental environments, for you to find the way alone. Give up the idea of being a hero or a heroine. Give up the notion of the rugged individual who can do everything on his or her own. This is a great illusion, and it is a very damaging one.
你无法独自找到内识。你需要他人的帮助。因此，你主要接触的人必须是能够帮助你做到这一点的人。你需要通过对比来学习。你需要通过他人的经历和观察来学习。这个世界太令人困惑、太霸道了，无论是在物理环境还是在心理环境中，你都无法独自找到道路。放弃成为英雄或女英雄的想法。放弃认为自己可以独自完成一切的坚强个体的想法。这是一个巨大的幻想，而且非常有害。
The closer you come to Knowledge, the more you will be able to experience who to be with and how to be with them. It is a miracle to meet the right person at the right time. You can certainly meet the wrong person at the right time, and that can be very confusing. You can meet the right person at the wrong time, and that can also be very confusing. You can meet the wrong person at the wrong time, and that is very common. Meeting the right person at the wrong time means that you recognize someone, but you do not have the capacity to participate with him or her. This will be a very difficult experience. Meeting the wrong person at the right time means that you are ripe for real relationship, but you are mistaking the identity of the person to whom you are attracted. This can lead you astray and cost you a great deal in terms of time and energy. Meeting the wrong person at the wrong time means that you are impatient and you are willing to follow your passions without Knowledge. This is simply being reckless, and you will pay the price. Meeting the right person at the right time means that you are ready and they are ready. You can recognize each other and you can participate with each other. This is a miraculous moment, and it will come to you if you build your foundation. But if you are impatient, if you are reckless, if you are ambitious, and if you cannot hold yourself back, this moment will elude you, and you will lose confidence that it is possible for you.
你越接近内识，你就越能够体验到与谁在一起以及如何与他们在一起。在正确的时间遇见正确的人是一个奇迹。你当然可以在正确的时间遇见错误的人，这可能会非常令人困惑。你可以在错误的时间遇见正确的人，这也可能会非常令人困惑。你可以在错误的时间遇见错误的人，这很常见。在错误的时间遇见正确的人意味着你认出了某人，但你没有能力与他或她一起参与。这将是一次非常艰难的经历。在正确的时间遇见错误的人意味着你已经准备好建立真正的关系，但你搞错了你所吸引的人的身份。这可能会让你误入歧途，让你在时间和精力上付出巨大的代价。在错误的时间遇见错误的人意味着你没有耐心，你愿意在没有内识的情况下追随你的激情。这简直是鲁莽，你会付出代价。在正确的时间遇见正确的人意味着你准备好了，他们也准备好了。你们可以相互认识，可以相互参与。这是一个神奇的时刻，如果你打好基础，它就会来到你面前。但如果你不耐烦，如果你鲁莽，如果你雄心勃勃，如果你无法控制你自己，这一刻就会离你而去，你会失去信心，相信你可以做到这一点。
Build essential relationships based upon Knowledge and you will choose a path and a direction that few in the world have found. You will make mistakes in discernment, but you can use these mistakes to refine your discernment because your discernment needs refinement. You will misinterpret people, but you can use this misinterpretation to develop greater insight because your insight needs to become greater.
基于内识建立重要的关系，你将选择一条世界上很少有人找到的道路和方向。你将在辨别力中犯错，但你可以使用这些错误来完善你的辨别力，因为你的辨别力需要完善。你将误解人们，但你可以使用这种误解来发展更伟大的洞察力，因为你的洞察力需要变得更伟大。
Become dedicated to finding Knowledge and you will find Knowledge. And you will find those relationships that are based upon Knowledge. And those relationships will empower you and enable you to develop the other three pillars of your life.
致力于寻找内识，你就会找到内识。你也会找到那些基于内识的关系。这些关系将赋予你力量，使你能够发展你生命的其他三个支柱。
